


To Liberty

by Turnaddict



Category: Turn (TV 2014), Turn: Washington's Spies - Fandom
Genre: American Revolution, Blood, Childbirth, Death, Eventual Smut, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Graphic depictions of violence - Freeform, Masturbation, Misogyny, Murder, Oral Sex, Pain, Period-Typical Racism, Period-Typical Sexism, Rage, Secret Relationship, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, Slavery, Slow Build, Smut, Surgery, Threats of Violence, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Violence, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-09 17:25:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 90,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4357886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turnaddict/pseuds/Turnaddict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A strong minded and very intelligent young woman, Kate is not the type of woman to be so easily impressed on by a man, however, that all changes when she meets Major Benjamin Tallmadge. After the fall of Philadelphia, Katherine Allen, the eldest daughter of a wealthy merchant, comes into contact with many faces of our nation's history as she sets out on a dangerous mission.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Lost Cause

**Author's Note:**

  * For [For the Turncoats](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=For+the+Turncoats), [The Black Petticoat Society](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+Black+Petticoat+Society).



               It was September 26, 1777 and all I could think was, “Does this mean it’s the end?” as I held the urgent message for Father in my trembling hand. I was in the parlor reading a section of Rousseau’s Discourse on the Origin and Basis of Inequality Among Men, when the messenger galloped fiercely toward the house. Jonas, one of my father’s slaves, was the one who inquired with the young man who gave him the letter and rode hard toward the village. As I stepped out outside Jonas brought the letter to me. “An urgent message for Master John, Miss Kate,” he said handing me the message. Jonas’ voice sounded concerned as to the contents of the letter. “Thank you, Jonas.” I said as I took the letter from him and returned inside the house. Something of this urgency must have be important so, naturally, I read the message for myself.    

> _Brother, news from the war front. you know, General Washington was defeated on the eleventh at Brandywine. Subsequent defeat followed and now the King's men are on Philadelphia’s doorstep. Congress has fled the city. By the time you receive this, General Howe is marching into Philadelphia unopposed. Perhaps now peace can be established with the Rebels. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Business must continue as scheduled. ___

_____William._  


__

             The last few lines were a blur as I had my ardent attention on the line, “I am afraid our brave and noble cause is all but lost.” Can it be? Traditional methods of war dictates that when the capital city of either force is captured by the enemy force, the war is over and the conqueror victorious. But this is not traditional war and Washington lives. I folded the letter and placed it on the table in the parlor. I slumped down into the corner chair where I was reading before. I sat there for I don’t know how long waiting for Father, Anne, and Bess to return from town to our farm that was merely ten miles from Philadelphia and the British.

__


	2. The Camp

The quaint farm outside the township of White Marsh, Pennsylvania was our family's escape from the arrogant and vapid members of Philadelphia high society. The Allen’s were always welcome to any function of Philadelphia society. My sisters Anne and Elizabeth couldn’t have been more distraught to leave their beloved weekly balls and gossip chains, where as I couldn’t have been more thrilled to make my escape.  
I love my sisters that is true, however, they are two of the most idiotic girls I’ve ever met. For example, they beg and plead Father to go into town with him and buy silks and ribbons to decorate themselves with while good men are starving and dying for their freedom. They care more for a lovely dress than for liberty. For a pair of young ladies of sixteen, this behavior is probably to be expected, yet I never behaved thus.  
Father is a wealthy merchant dealing in the export of textiles and other goods such as timber. He owns multiple businesses resulting in our family’s prominent financial and social status. The war has heavily impacted the merchants of Philadelphia, resulting our move from the city to the country. My mother was the daughter of a prominent Philadelphia family, she died when I was eight years old. My sisters were four years old when our mother died, they never knew her like I did. Mother always pushed me to educate myself, she taught me how to read, write, and speak in several languages. Perhaps, if they had known her, they wouldn’t be as they are. Unlike my sisters, whose blonde hair and blue eyes favored my father, my dark brown curls and brown eyes were that of my mother.  
As I sat in the corner parlor chair waiting for them to return, my mind was occupied by thoughts of the contents of Uncle William's message. The words, “As long as Washington lives, so does the cause” repeated over and over again in my mind like a mantra. The whiny of a horse separated me from my distracted mind. They’re back.  
I went outside to meet them letter in hand, Anne and Bess had multiple colored ribbons in hand while Matilda carried two dress boxes. Father carried evidence of his business with him as he stepped out of the carriage.  
“Father, a message for you from Uncle William.” I said as I quickly presented the letter to him.  
“My dear, let me catch my breath.” He said as he slowly made his way up the porch steps taking the letter from me.  
“Kate! Come and see what we’ve brought!” I heard Anne shout from inside. I rolled my eyes and let out an annoyed sigh as entered the house.  
“Yes I’m sure they’re lovely.” I replied, following Father, not bothering to look at their purchases. As he read the message his expression appeared expressionless. I paced nervously waiting for him to finish.  
“This is grave news indeed,” he said plainly. I was surprised at his tone.  
“Yes, it is, but you do not sound concerned.” I replied at his tone. “The enemy is at our very doorstep!”  
“What you don’t know Kate, is that Mr. Jameson told me in town that General Washington has retreated and a scout came three days ago looking for a proper site to make camp, and he has chosen White Marsh.”


	3. His Excellency

The information that Father revealed to me in his study left me with my heart pounding with excitement. General Washington coming to White Marsh. Someone as dedicated as myself to the cause of liberty would all be too happy to share in my elation.  
“General Washington’s scout came through town asking permission of the local landowners to house his army of over 20,000 men for the next several weeks. Mr. Morris and I, among others, agreed to Washington’s request.” Father spoke as he stood and watched outside the window of his study. I waited a few moments before inquiring further.  
“When will they arrive?” I asked. Father turned and replied plainly.  
“Within the week.” He smiled as he said this, he knew that the cause was something dear to me and that providing even the smallest of assistance to the Continental army would make me happy.  
“Who will be camping here?” I inquired further.  
“A company of dragoons, militia, and their officers.” He said as he crossed and sat at his desk. All of this news nearly left me jumping for joy.  
“Thank you Father.” I said coming around behind his and giving him a kiss on his left cheek. Father had been neutral toward the cause until news of the events of the Massacre and the treatment of the people of Philadelphia during the occupation. Now he practically felt as passionate as I did, although he has never shown it publically.  
Over the next several days, I attempted to occupy myself in order to contain my excitement by reading passages from Montesquieu’s The Spirit of the Laws and Voltaire’s Lettres philosophiques, (Letters Concerning the English Nation) to my sisters. This was a frugal attempt to educate them is some way, which however, resulted in both of them falling asleep. When this happened I took to scanning the bookshelves for something that I hadn’t picked up in a while. My search was in vain.  
I grew bored from reading, something that is such a rare occurrence I startled myself. I sought to help Father, Jonas, Peter, and James in the harvesting of the corn and wheat that would be put in storage for winter. Being out in the sweat and earth of the farmland gave me something to focus on other than what I would say should I have the honor of meeting General Washington. I was focused so much on harvesting the corn stalks that I didn’t even hear Father calling to me. When I finally heard him call, I hopped out of the stalks.  
“Yes, Father? What is it?” I replied wiping my filthy hands on my apron and picking up the basket of corn that was ready for shucking. I held the basket to my side and wiped the sweat from my brow then walked up to where Father stood at the edge of the wheat field holding a scythe.  
“Kate, my dear, the boys and I have this all managed. Go inside and help Matilda with dinner.” he told me placing his hand on my cheek. I wasn’t pleased with leaving my task only to go and be bored and impatient again, however, I yielded and went inside to wash and prepare for dinner.  
As I walked toward the house, I could hear the movement of horses and men coming from the east. Nearly as soon as heard them, they appeared, a company of about two hundred Continentals with their officers riding just ahead of them. The two officers at the head of the company broke away from the men and came riding towards me. I suppose the normal instinct was to run, but my feet were planted firmly. I shielded my eyes from the sun in order to have a better look. One officer, a curious unshaven fellow that was dressed in the garb of a civilian while the other was handsomely dressed in the traditional officer’s uniform of blue and gold. They slowed their steeds to a trot as they came upon me.  
“Madame, is this the home of a Mr. John Allen?” The gallant young officer asked politely, my stomach twisted into knots as soon as I looked up to him and into his eyes. They were blue.  
“Yes, he’s just there.” I said nervously pointing the men in my father’s direction.  
“Thank you, Miss.” The young man replied. I nodded and smiled while my eyes followed as they rode toward Father. All of a sudden my heart was pounding in my chest and yet I was calm.  
What in the bloody Hell is wrong with you? I thought to myself as I turned glancing back just once more at the young officer before heading toward the house with a slight smirk on my face.


	4. Formal Introductions

Once inside the house, I could see my nosy sisters pushing their faces out the open left side window of the parlor. I slipped off my dirty apron and work shoes that were covered with mud placing them where they would be washed later. I could hear their silly girlish giggling over the young officer and his companion. Feeling a bit mischievous I silently crept behind them standing just far enough away to where they couldn’t feel my presence. I leaned forward slightly just above the heads.  
“What’s going on here?” I shouted, Anne and Bess shot up out of surprise and smacked their heads on the bottom of the open window. I laughed so hard my sides hurt. They both rubbed their heads wincing from the pain.  
“What’d you do that for?” Bess whined in pain. Still laughing I replied  
“To get you back for the ink incident last month.” I said sternly, trying to hold in my laughter. “But in earnest, what were you two doing?”  
“As if you hadn’t noticed, Kate.” Anne replied as she bent down to look out the window again.  
“Noticed what? The sky? Oh, it’s lovely.” I said condescendingly, poking my head fully out of the window and looking up toward the sky which as the sun began to set had a beautiful purple and orange hue.  
“No, no! The officer! Look at how handsome he is in his uniform.” Bess said agitated at my patronizing. I rolled my eyes as she spoke, my little sisters would be infatuated with anything so long as it wore an officer’s uniform. I pulled back inside the house while Anne and Bess smiled and batted their eyelashes at whoever he was. Not that they were wrong, he is handsome, I got a good look at him, however it is going to take more than a shiny uniform to get to my heart, no matter how piercing his eyes are. I let out a humored sigh as I left my sisters to their gazing and headed for the kitchen to find Matilda.  
Tildy, as we affectionately call her, was at work making tonight's supper. Tildy was mixing the contents of the large pot where she was cooking my favorite dish, Pepper Pot. I could smell the vast number of ingredients as I entered the room. I took a whiff of the spices in the air. I let out a pleasured sigh. Tildy turned her head back to me and then went back to throwing in all the meats that were necessary for the Pot.  
“What you doin’ in here child? I thought you were outside with Mr. Allen.” She said as she put in the cut up pieces of beef, mutton, and pork.  
“I was, then Father said to come and help you in here.” When I said that she turned around eyebrow raised.  
“Well, come on then! Don’t just stand there like a stick in da mud. Stir.” She sassily said motioning with her head and holding out the large wooden spoon she was using to stir the concoction. “What was all dat noise comin’ from outside?” she asked me as I began to stir. My thoughts suddenly turned by to the young officer and the feeling of having my heart in my throat and my stomach in knots. I smiled at the mental image of him, but I don’t even know him!  
“The company’s here to make camp.” I replied looking at her through my peripheral with a smirk.  
“What’s dat look fo’?” She said putting her hands on her hips. My smile grew a little wider as I continued to stir.  
Why was I smiling? I can’t have feelings for someone I had only just met! This is just infatuation, pure and simple. I thought to myself.  
“Nothing.” I replied shaking my head as if I had not been thinking.  
“Mmhmm.” Tildy knew there was something strange about me too. “Here, now go get washed and dressed for dinner.” She said taking the spoon from my hand and turning me towards the door.  
“Yes, Tildy.” I said exasperatingly. As I headed up to the second floor of the house I saw Rachel, our other house servant.” Rachel, can you help me out of this bloody dress.”  
“Of course, Miss Katherine.” She said carrying laundry from my sister room.  
“Rachel, how many times have I asked you to call me Kate?” I smiled.  
“Three, Miss.” She said plainly. She has not been here as long as Father’s other slaves, just over a year. Father bought her as a maidservant to me and my sisters.  
“I would prefer you to call me Kate. I hate formality.” She looked down at her shoes. I placed my hand on her shoulder reassuringly. “And you’re just a much a member of the household as myself or anyone here. Never forget that.” She looked up at me and smiled almost teary eyed. I believe her former masters were the cruel sort.  
“Thank you, Miss Kate. Now let’s get you out of those dirty robes.” She was kind and deserved to be treated as such. Slavery is an abomination in the world. The issue is the one I can agree with the British on. Despite the thoughts of many, no change has been made, nor will there be. The Southern states are dependent on the slave labor and the Northern states depend on the building the ships that bring the slaves to market.  
I waited patiently as Rachel unbuttoned my plain brown robe a 1’anglaise. She handed me that basin to wash to face, arms, and chest. I sat in the chair in front of my vanity and let Rachel put up my hair and curl the loose strands.  
“What will you be wantin’ to wear to dine in, Miss Kate?” Before I could decide a knock came at my door.  
“Yes?” I inquired.  
“Kate dear, I’ve asked the two officers to join us for dinner. They’re quite the gentlemen. The one officer is a graduate of Yale. The other, well, isn’t. Oh well, I’ll be sure to formally introduce you at dinner.” Father said through the door. He is educated, well, thank God for that, otherwise I wouldn’t even know what to say to him. Nor would he be in anyway attractive to me if he weren’t educated or intelligent in some capacity. “When will you be ready, my dear?”  
“Only a few more minutes, Father.” I said through my side of the door.  
“Alright, we’ll be waiting. Patiently.” I could hear Father’s sly smile through the door.  
“Rachel? I think I’ll wear the blue dress. You know the one with the gold floral detailing.” I asked her in the mirror. She nodded and went to fetch the dress from my solar. When she lifted it from its box, I marveled in its beauty. It was a gift from my aunt Augusta, the wealthy one from Philadelphia, for my most recent birthday. I’m not one for extravagance, however, just this once I wanted to make an impression.  
I stepped into the dress and Rachel pulled it over the hoops and petticoat. As she buttoned the dress I could help but stare at it in the mirror, it was a lovely dress. A few last adjustments and I was finished. All of this trouble to dress just for dinner was ridiculous. It gets so tedious after so often. I left my room, walked down the corridor, and came to the stairs that descended to the foyer. As I loitered my sisters came out of their room down the hall from mine. They wore their usual green and white robes with vine embroidery.  
“You two look lovely. Trying to impress someone?” I smiled slyly. They looked at each other and giggled. I turned back and began to descend the stairs. I was nervous, these two werethe first members of the Continental Army I have met and not only that, but one of them was strikingly handsome. I didn’t really notice the other one, I suppose he may be too, despite the beard. I was careful in my footing as I slowly made my way down.  
“Ah, here they are at last! Gentlemen, may I present my daughters.” I could hear Father say as soon as he saw us. At his words I looked up and smiled at him. The three men were gathered around at the bottom of the stairs. As soon as I caught glimpse of the handsome one and saw that he was looking at me I lost all concentration of my footing. My right foot missed the final step and I felt the weightlessness one feels when one falls. Suddenly I was caught by the young officer and I was firmly set down on the hardwood floor of the foyer. As I fell, I heard my sisters gasp, their gasp turned to giggles. He, whoever he was, held on to me until I was steady. I now had a better look at his eyes, yes they were definitely blue. I could feel the blood rise into my cheeks. I looked away from his face in utter embarrassment.  
“Are you alright, Miss?” he spoke with concern. I only nodded because I could not speak out of shame. My Father took hold of my arm with an anxiety.  
“Yes, I’m fine.” I could finally say to my Father and the officer.  
“Well sir, now that you’ve met my eldest daughter, Katherine.” Father said making the unshaven fellow crack a laugh, leaving me mortified. “These are my two younger daughters, Anne and Elizabeth.” My officer bowed in a chivalrous manner, the other gave a nod of acknowledgement. My sisters and I replied with our courtly curtsies. “My dears, this is Lieutenant Caleb Brewster,” he said gesturing to the bearded fellow, ‘and this is Major Benjamin Tallmadge.”


	5. The Main Course

“Well now that the excitement of the evening has passed, shall we?” Father declared giving me his arm and gesturing to the dining room. I could still feel Major Tallmadge’s hand still grasping mine. I slowly pulled away, not daring to look him in the eye for my embarrassment had not yet passed as I took Father’s arm. I could hear Anne and Bess battle with each other to have the honor of being formally escorted to dinner by Major Tallmadge. In the end it was Anne who was victorious. When I had turned around to see the winner, Anne had gleefully taken the Major’s arm while Bess had to settle for Mr. Brewster. I turned back with a humored smirk across my lips.  
The two soldiers were definitely not used to this type of formal dinner, or at least they haven’t been to one in a while. Father escorted me to the seat adjacent him, pulling out my chair for me as I sat down. The long dining table that could hold twelve was formally set with the house’s fine silver. Father must be celebrating the company’s arrival to our land, otherwise he would not have gone to all this trouble. Major Tallmadge and Lieutenant Brewster mirrored my Father in their civility pulling out the chairs for my sisters, although Brewster was obviously unaccustomed to doing so. My sisters and I had always sat in the order of our age. It was always myself, then Anne and finally Bess. The men took their seats, Father at the head of the table, Lieutenant Brewster across from Bess, and Major Tallmadge took his seat across from me. As soon as we were all comfortably seated Tildy brought out the soup.  
I was still reeling from my ‘encounter” with Major Tallmadge, so I thought it was best to keep my head down and not say a word unless spoken to. I slipped my napkin onto my lap as Tildy poured everyone’s soup individually. When Tildy came round to me I smiled at her.  
“Thank you, Matilda.” Father said to Tildy as she curtsied and exited the room to go finish preparing the main course, venison meat pies. Father passed around the gourd of small beer, each of us filling our cups.  
“So Major Tallmadge, Lieutenant Brewster, where do you come to us from?” Father said as he poured his drink trying to relieve the awkwardness in the air.  
“We both hail from Setauket, Long Island Sir.” Major Tallmadge replied as he took a spoonful of Pepper Pot in his mouth. Brewster had taken quite too large a mouthful, as Tildy’s Pepper Pot is not for those not used to a great many spices. Brewster had reached for his glass rather quickly.  
“Ah I see, it is good to have friends beside you in times such as these.” Father said acknowledging what I had deduced about these two so far. They had grown up together and their bond is very strong.  
“What was your profession before the war, Lieutenant?” Father inquired the other gentleman. Mr. Brewster I can see was not found of answering questions put to him, even harmless ones.  
“I was whaler, Sir.” He said plainly before going right back to his soup.  
“A fine profession.” I knew Father was baiting me to be involved in the conversation and I was unwilling to do so. After a long silence, I gave in to my curiosity.  
“So, Major Tallmadge, my father tells me that you’re a graduate of Yale.” I said plainly as if I had been speaking all along while taking a spoonful of soup. The major was quite surprised that I had spoken or he was intrigued by my question. Whatever the case was, he had an enlivened look on his face.  
“Y-yes, Miss Allen, class of ’73.” He said rather nervously. I don’t understand, he has no reason to be nervous I am just asking simple question? What on earth could he possibly be so nervous about?  
“Please, call me Katherine. I insist.” I interrupted him. This made his eyes widen with further astonishment. I was humored by his civility, but also quite impressed. “Well, you and your men are going to be here for quite a while, and we shall be seeing each other quite frequently. I do not see why we should be formal the entire time.” I said whilst putting down my spoon and picking up my glass to take a drink. Major Tallmadge blinked several times as he shook of his bewilderment. Perhaps he has never encountered such informality from a young lady.  
“Of-of course, if that is permissible with you Sir?” he said looking to my father for guidance. I looked at him as well insistently.  
“I see no harm in it.” He let out a laugh. ”Perhaps one day, Major my daughter might even allow you to call her Kate.” I gave him a cross look as he and my sisters laughed. The poor young officer unaware of my father’s jest. I only let those closest to me call me Kate. I drank from my glass again.  
“What was it you studied at Yale, Major Tallmadge?” I wanted to get back to the subject of his educated, I desired to inquire further into his intellect.  
“Well, there was science, philosophy, and several languages. You probably wouldn’t find them interesting.”  
“Why no, on the contrary. Please tell me, us.” I insisted.  
“Just the classics, Greek, Hebrew, and Latin.” He was proud of his accomplishments, I could tell, but he was still humble.  
Antiquae satis scio. Quem philosophi didicisti? Si quid petieritis me. I spoke my best Latin. It has been awhile since I used it last. I was satisfied when I left him dumbfounded again.  
Et facta est Locke, Montesquieu, Voltaire, et Rousseau, inter alia. His reply made me smile from ear to ear. He has a wit about him as well. I could feel the confusion in the air. Major Tallmadge and I had left the room behind as we went back and forth. You could say I was flirting. I know that is what my sisters would say. In order to give some relief to the confusion around the table I returned to English.  
“Major Tallmadge, I’m quite impressed.” I said as I took another drink.  
“As am I, Miss. Tell me how does a young lady such as yourself become so well versed in the classical teachings, if I may be so bold.” He seems so astonished that he would find in the countryside a young lady well versed in Latin and classical philosophy. Now that I have his attentions, I can pry further into his mind.  
“My father encourages me to further cultivate my knowledge in any way I see fit.” I replied. It was unlike a father in this day and age to encourage a daughter’s advanced education.  
“Yes, my study and library, that I was showing to you earlier Major, in fact belongs to Kate rather than myself in that it is where she spends the vast majority of her time.” Father interjected. Major Tallmadge nodded in his approval. Father showed him my library?  
I’m going to be cross with him for that. I thought to myself.  
“What is your opinion of a woman seeking an advanced education at a college such as Yale for instance?” I thought poor Mr. Brewster was going to choke on his soup he coughed so loudly. Clearly he didn’t share the opinion of allowing highly educated female populous.  
“I believe that it is a necessity for our women to be afforded the same educational opportunities as us men. It is only fitting, you cannot write off the other half of the population.” He took another drink. The time had come now for me to be the one astonished. I was listening intently to his reasoning. “Daughters should be afforded the same attention as the sons, and not be neglected as the societal determined weaker sex.” Now the tables had turned, he had amazed me. Before I could reply, Tildy came through the door to the kitchen with the main course. I was left sitting there holding my glass astounded. Then, suddenly, just as when we first met my heart pounded within my chest, and yet, I was calm. All I could do was stare at him. I was more curious about this man now than ever before. 

 

Latin Translation: I know the classics quite well. Which philosophers did you study? If I may ask.  
Translation: Well, there was Locke, Montesquieu, and Rousseau among others.


	6. Goodnight

While Tildy was going around the table serving the meat pies, I had suddenly realized that we had forgotten the toast. During every dinner someone would proposes a toast to something that is of great importance to us, it was a tradition in our family that I can remember from when I was a child.  
“Father, we forgot the toast.” I blurted out as soon as I had remembered. I hopped out of seat to grab the wine. Poor Major Tallmadge and his chivalry, he was quick at the jump out of his seat when I rose from mine. So quick even, that his chair fell back and crashed to the floor. I sharply turned in response to the sudden noise. Tallmadge knelt down to pick it up in a confusion. Anne and Bess let out a burst of laughter, Mr. Brewster joined in. I was more appreciative of his civility than humored by his exceeding enthusiasm. I gave Major Tallmadge a smile of reassurance went to retrieve a bottle of wine from the other room. Now we both have had our embarrassing moment. I found the wine sitting on a shelf between the cider and several jugs of beer.  
“Every night we propose a toast to something that we hold dear to us.” Father explained as I returned with the wine. Before I sat Major Tallmadge stood again, for me, as I took my seat. I placed the wine on the table next to Father.  
“Kate, my dear, I do believe it is your turn to give the toast.” He said as he poured his wine, but I recalled that it was in fact Bess’ turn, although her toasts are for something silly like a handsome suitor or a new hat for her birthday. I gave him an inquisitive look as he passed around the bottle of wine. Father must have known this and didn’t want to bore the young gentlemen at our table. All I knew was Father had an agenda, whatever it was I didn’t know for certain.  
“Right, of course.” I could hear Bess pouting down the table. I poured my glass and thought to myself. What would be appropriate? Then I knew. I had to give a toast to something that would impress our guests, but more importantly impress on Major Tallmadge. I raised my glass, glanced around the table, and spoke, “I propose a toast, to Liberty. May it be the beacon of light for all men, and women, who desire to be free from the suppression of tyranny.” I could hear my words echo through the whole house. I took a drink from my glass after I had finished. This toast was no different than the ones I had given before, and yet there was a different mood at the table when I finished.  
“Here, here!” I heard Father retorted pounding on the table. I smiled at his reply, I watched Lieutenant Brewster and my sisters as they drank their toast, and then I beheld Major Tallmadge. His expression was no long bewildered or amazed, now his expression was warm.  
“Here, here.” He raised his glass and drank not looking away from me, nor I from him. His expression was of admiration, which is what I wanted, yet, in all sincerity, I also sought his affection; although I had never sought such a thing from any other young man I had encountered before. Major Tallmadge was something different entirely, however there is more I want to know about him before I consider the possibility of affection. With business attended to we dove into the main course.  
The rest of the meal went on rather uneventfully and we all finished rather quickly. My sisters would whisper amongst themselves. An occasional giggle would arise from their area of the table. The dinner concluded as Father rose from the table fatigued by the day’s events. We all rose as Father did.  
“Well, I am a terrible host, but I believe shall retire, gentlemen. Major, Lieutenant, I bid you goodnight.” He said as he stood acknowledging our guests, leaving me all alone to be the gracious hostess. He came round the table and kissed me and my sisters each on the forehead. “Goodnight, my dears.”  
“Goodnight, Father.” I replied. My sisters did the same. After Father had disappeared upstairs to his room for the night, I gave in to my duties. “Now, it’s time for you to go and make ready for bed as well.” I said to my sisters pointing them in the direction of the stairs. We walked into the foyer.  
“But we’re not tired!” Bess yawned and Anne huffed in their typical pouty unison. I was not swayed.  
“Proper young ladies are well rested.” I retorted again pointing them upstairs. Throwing their snobbery in their faces. They reluctantly complied with a curtsy to the two young men before going upstairs. I rolled my eyes as I watched them pout and trudged their way to their rooms. I turned around to say goodnight to Lieutenant Brewster and Major Tallmadge. I turned back to the two gentlemen, but I was rather coy in speaking first. The events of the evening still weighed heavily on my mind.  
“Thank you, Miss. For you hospitality.” After a long delay, Brewster spoke before I could get a word out.  
“Of course, Goodnight Lieutenant.” I curtsied and he turned to leave.  
“I think the Major’s wantin’ to speak with you alone, Miss. I’ll just step out here and wait for him to think of something to say.” He said exiting shutting the door behind him, leaving Major Tallmadge and me utterly alone for the first time all evening.  
“It was lovely to meet you.” I blurted out.  
“Thank you for the invitation.” We both had begun to speak but ended up over lapping each other. We laughed at the confusion.  
“It was a pleasure to meet you, Major Tallmadge.”  
“As it was to meet you, Miss All-, Katherine.” He remembered.  
“I’m glad you haven’t forgotten.” I smiled wide when he called me Katherine. I enjoyed the way he said my full name. “I asked Tildy to send any remaining food from tonight to your men, that is, if that’s alright with you, Major.”  
“Of-of course. Your family’s generosity will be appreciated.” His smile brightened. His smile was just as appealing as his eyes.  
“It is gladly given. Anything to support the cause.” I smiled up at him he was slightly taller than me now that I time to observe him more thoroughly.  
“That was an inspiring toast you gave at dinner. It appears we share a similar passion.” His words would have made my sisters giggle and blush. I nodded coyly in reply. He must have become aware of his choice of words, because he seemed to blush as well. “For the cause.”  
“Thank you, and yes I believe we do.” My heart started pounding again.  
“It is getting late. I must return to my men.” Major Tallmadge, despite his words, seemed as if he was reluctant to leave, as if he were being pulled away.  
“Oh, yes of course. Goodnight, Major Tallmadge.” I was rather sad about him leaving as I curtsied. We would most assuredly be seeing each other quite frequently in the weeks ahead.He bowed and kissed my hand which I had presented to him for the courteous gesture. He turned and exited the door, shutting it behind him. My heart was still pounding with excitement and bliss at the thought of him. I soon realized that I had the same silly enamored look my sisters had earlier when they first saw Major Tallmadge, only now I didn’t care.


	7. Internl Conflict

I turned and unconsciously stepped up to the stairs, but I didn’t ascend. I just stood there, Major Tallmadge’s words still occupying my thoughts. I pondered them awhile. Soon I realized I had a foolish love-struck grin on my face. When I realized this, my normal rational thinking regained control of my mind. I began to pace the floor at the bottom of the staircase, thinking to myself. How is this even possible? Why am I acting this way? I’m acting like my sisters! That is unacceptable! Why? How is this happening? My frustration with this, and myself, only grew as I thought further on the matter. What am I doing? I’ve never met this man before. I have never wanted this sort of regard reciprocated. I have had several young gentlemen make the attempt, but the poor fools failed miserably. How can I care for someone who is virtually a stranger? I don’t understand. I stopped pacing, but my mind continued on. Perhaps this is something beyond reason. Logic has always treated me well. Why would I abandon it now? I began pacing again, this time firmer and with more determination. What is wrong with me?  
“Child, you are gonna dig a trench into the middle of dis house if you keep pacin’ like dat.” I heard Tildy scold me from the dining room. Surprised by her sudden interjection, I looked up to see her standing at the edge of the table with a stack of plates in one hand and a wash cloth in the other.  
“Here Tildy, let me help.” I said strolling towards her. I attempted to take the large stack of plates out of her weathered hand but she pulled back.  
“I’m fine here, child. But if you wanna help, grab those glasses an’ push this door open.” I smiled at her and got to work. I moved around the used dining table picking up the empty wine and beer glasses. When I reached Major Tallmadge’s side of the table, I couldn’t help but grin at the thought of his chair crashing to floor as he stood. I shook off the thought and grabbed the final glass on the table. My hands were full so I pushed open the door to the kitchen with my shoulder. Tildy gave me a single raised brow when I looked back at her, it was a knowingly look. Tildy has been a member of this house since before I was born. She knows me better than anyone, better than Father. After Mother died, Father was left with three daughters and Tildy had the task of bring up not only me, but my sisters as well. As we grew older Father had brought in tutors and Aunt Augusta to teach us about being proper young ladies. I, being the eldest, got the brunt of this teaching, although my sisters were and are far better at being delicate porcelain dolls than I am.  
“What?” I asked her, questioning her manner in that look she gave me.  
“Oh, like you don’ know. You standin’ ‘round with dat smile on your face.” She gave me the same expression again. Oh, God. She knows. I thought to myself. I turned my body as I quickly entered the kitchen. I placed the glasses on the table adjacent to the ovens.  
“I don’t what you talking about Tildy.” I said trying to feign ignorance. “I smile all the time. I began putting the dishes in the wash bin that was filled with water.  
“Yes, but you’ve never smiled like dat before.” She shot back. “Now, I wonder who dat smile was for.” She and I both knew exactly who she was talking about. She was doing this to tease me. I couldn’t look at her.  
“I don’t who mean.” I felt her come up behind me and out of the corner of my eye I could see her looking at me.  
“Major Tallmadge, is who I mean.” She was obviously trying to get a reaction out of me. I tried not oblige her, but the mere mention of him made the smile in question resurface on my face. “Ah, dat’s it!” Her endeavor had succeeded. I spun around to face her. When I saw her she had this crooked grin on her face. Tildy was not going to let this go undiscussed.  
“Honestly, Tildy I don’t know why you are pushing on matter. I barely know him.” I brushed by her as I grabbed the used glasses and returned and put them in the wash bin.  
“Don’t give me dat excuse. I know you like the gentleman.” Tildy said crossing her arms in front of her. I did not want to discuss this, I was confused enough as it is. Yet I do like Major Tallmadge, as far as I know him he has good character, noble, intelligent, qualities I find admirable in any person I meet.  
“Perhaps I do like the young man. What of it? He’s admirable and I am intrigued by him. It does not mean that I’m, in love with him.” I was insistent and unwavering in my explanation. Tildy’s warm and kind expression only softened my temperament.  
“Of course my child, I know you are not the sort of silly girl to go fall in love with some young man out of the blue. The Major is a handsome young man.” On that we agreed. “It’s not strange for a lovely girl such as you to be attracted to him.” She placed her hand on my shoulder, bringing relief to the tension within myself. I leaned into her touch, the same touch that had comforted me whenever I was sick or frightened.  
“I don’t understand. Why do I feel so strangely? How can I care for someone I just met?” I looked at her filled with concern and fatigue. She was earnest in her eyes, this made me feel more assured that she may hold an answer for me.  
“Of course you don’t. But I know what I saw between you two at dinner. I heard you to talk to each other from in here. I saw the look in your eyes after the Major left. Something like dis, is not explained in your books.” She put her hand upon my cheek. “You have to go find the answer for yourself, child. Something like dis can’t be learned, it must be lived.” Her wisdom reassured me that at least I wasn’t going mad and that I could find an answer. I yawned. I was tired. The events of the day have made me weary. “Now it’s time for you to get to bed. I’ll finish this.” Tildy ordered.  
“Yes Ma’am.” I smiled and hugged her. “Goodnight Tildy. Thank you.” I headed out of the kitchen and made my way upstairs to my room. Rachel as already waiting for me to help me undress and get ready for bed. As she unlaced and removed the gown my mind was occupied elsewhere. I knew I had to investigate Major Tallmadge further. I wanted to know more about him. I had until winter to not only learn about Major Tallmadge and for me to reveal myself to him. I wanted him to know me as well as I wanted to know him.  
Rachel pulled the gown over my head leaving me standing in my petticoat and stay. As she began to unlace my stay I let down my hair. My curls fell down over my shoulders and down my back as I pulled out the pins. I need a plan if I’m going to “run in” to Major Tallmadge tomorrow. I will go to the camp and, I have no idea. I’ll go for a walk down to the camp, casually, offer my assistance to Major Tallmadge. Surely there’s something I could do to help. I felt Rachel pull and tug at the laces of my stay as she removed it. I stepped out of the petticoat that lay on the floor. When I was fully disrobed I washed my face again in the basin. I watched out window overlooking the western part of the farm at the newly pitched tents that dotted the twenty acres or so of land. Their lanterns were lit, all two hundred of them, one being Major Tallmadge.  
“Thank you, Rachel. Goodnight.” I told her as I made my way around and I pulled back the blankets and slid into the sheets.  
“Goodnight, Miss Katie.” She curtsied with the dirty laundry basket at her hip. She shut the door behind her and at last I was utterly alone with my thoughts. I laid down facing the bedside table on which sat the only lit candle in the room. I stared at it. Perhaps he was looking up at my window at this very moment at the candlelight that illuminated the room.  
Major Benjamin Tallmadge. I thought to myself and smiled, then I leaned up and blew out the candle. The room was now in complete darkness.


	8. An Earl Morning

I awoke from first sleep around midnight. I rose from my bed and stretched out my limbs, the drowsiness I had felt earlier had now passed. I lit the candelabra on my bedside table and carried it with me as I left my room to go down to the library to occupy myself for a while. Judging from the utter silence, no one else was awake yet. In nothing but my shift, I crept down the stairs. I tip toed across the foyer making my way through the parlor and entered the library, closing the door behind me. It was an open space, the bookshelves enclosed the room in a protective manner. The only furniture in the room was Father’s mahogany desk at the center and the small window box sofa that looked out across the landscape.   
The shelves were organized by subject and the books were arranged by the author’s last name from A to Z. The wide range of books varied from political pamphlets to texts on human anatomy. Some of the oldest books here are over two hundred years old, collected from all across Europe. They’ve been passed down through the generations to Father and now to me. I made my way first to the fiction section and combed the shelves. Within the leather bindings contained the genius minds behind the world’s greatest literature. The varied array of prose and drama ranging from Chaucer to Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. As I scanned the shelves, my eyes were caught by the seven volumes of The Works of Williams Shakespeare. They had belonged to my mother.   
After years of constant handling, the bindings were slightly worn on the edges. I selected one at random, not paying attention to which one I pulled from the shelf. I turned to the page that listed the plays contained within, Love's Labour's Lost, As You Like It, The Taming of the Shrew, All's Well That Ends Well, and Twelfth Night. Good comedies, I didn’t want to depress myself this early in the morning. I could hear a stirring from upstairs, everyone else in the house was beginning to stir about. I quickly turned the pages to As You Like It, the story of the strong minded heroine Rosalind was one my favorites. I can never say I have just one favorite Shakespeare play, to do so would be blasphemous. I light several candles to create some illumination to read by. With my book in my hand I strode over to the window box and sat on the cushions. Making myself comfortable, I leaned back against the wall and raised my feet on the other end of the seat and began to read.   
I sat there immersed in the romp about the plight of Rosalind, the friendship between Rosalind and Celia, and the humorous confusion of the lovers. One main theme of the play that keeps smacking me over the head is the ever so cliché “love at first sight”. The moment between Rosalind and Orlando falling madly in love with one another at their first meeting brought forward unsettling thoughts within me. I have read this play at least a dozen times before, but now the story hits harder. Once again my mind was all a flutter with thoughts about the previous day’s events.   
William Shakespeare mocks me. The idea of being in love with someone I just met frightened me. Love isn’t just instantaneous, it is built and it lasts. Arranged matches are preferred for young ladies in my station. My parent’s marriage was arranged and they built their love over the years. Yet, I will not allow society to dictate to me who I shall or shall not love. But I will not be one of Puck’s foolish love-struck mortals! If only Ganymede’s promise of a cure for lovesickness truly existed. I closed my book with a snap of my wrist. I quickly rose from my seat in the window box and reached for another more serious selection. I grabbed another volume, Hamlet? Ghosts, murder, and madness, yes that will liven me up. I put back the book and chose another. Richard III? Betrayal, murder, and tyrannical kings, no thank you. I was tired of reading about bloodshed and of love.   
The grandfather clock in the foyer struck one in the morning so I retired once again to my bed. I blew out the candles save my bedside candle and left the library. When I stepped out of the room I saw no one. They all must have already went back to sleep. I once again ascended the stairs to my bedchamber. Once back in my room I blew out my personal light and put the candelabra back on its table. Before I could slip between my blankets, I turned to look out the window. Observing the Continental encampment, I could see that all of the lanterns had been put out, all, except one. I stared at the small light for a short period of time before returning to my bed. I laid down tossing and turning until I was completely comfortable. I slowly but surely shut my eyes and slowly drifted back to sleep.   
The crow of the rooster woke me at break of dawn. I sluggishly got out of bed when Rachel entered the room. She carried a pitcher of water and towel for me to wash with. I wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep. I yawned, stood, and began the daily process of dressing. This constant daily routine was always the same get up, wash, stay, petticoat, hoops, gown, and repeat. Rachel went to my clothespress to grab a frock.  
“Just something simple, Rachel.” I told her over my shoulder. She pulled out an ordinary brown frock that would do quite well. “Thank you, Rachel, I’m fine here.” She curtsied after she placed the gown on the bed. I dressed myself pulling on the gown over the cream petticoat, lacing the robe at the front. I slipped on the simple black slippers and went to my vanity to do my hair. I pulled upward and pinned it into a bun, only a few short brown curls hung down at my ears and the nape of my neck. I rose from my vanity mirror and went downstairs for breakfast.   
I found Father, Bess, and Anne already sitting at the table breaking their fast. I was surprised my sisters were up and ready before I was. It was a common occurrence for Rachel to have to shake my sisters awake long after dawn. Am I late? Tildy had already brought out the coffee and porridge. I sat down in my seat at the table. I poured my cup of coffee, we had boycotted tea for four years now. My porridge had begun to cool, so I quickly finished both and went to find Tildy and begin my chores.  
We each had our chores on washing day, my sisters mended and tailored the laundry while I helped Tildy was and hang up the washing to dry. Washing day was always an all-day affair that took every member of the household to help. The men would gather the water from the creek nearby and the women would do the washing, drying, and the mending. Thinking that I had overslept, I hurried down the porch stairs and rounded the houses’ east end to the laundry building. When I entered I found Tildy scrubbing bed linens over the wash board while Rachel was stirring the copper pot with the washing bat. A load of linens were already waiting for me to take them to then drying line. I grabbed the basket resting it on my hip as I headed out to the clothesline. Thankfully, it was a lovely morning with not a dark cloud in the sky that would threaten bad weather. My attention was focused on my chores, every time I would empty a basket I would go retrieve another full one. The process was on a humdrum repeat. I began to hum to myself thinking myself alone. When I had filled one clothesline, moved on to start the next. Abruptly, I stopped. I began to experience the sensation that I was no longer alone. Someone was close.


	9. A Request

While hanging bed linens on the drying line I felt a presence coming closer behind me. The hairs on the back of my neck began to stand on end. A knot of anxiety formed in the pit of chest. I bent down to grab another sheet from my basket shaking it out before hanging it beside the others, trying not to give away my knowledge to the unknown presence that was coming up closer behind me. Whoever it may be, friend or foe, I wasn’t certain. There have been rumors of several soldiers, even from the Continental Army, of an unscrupulous character thieving and attacking nearby civilians. These days one cannot be too careful.   
The mysterious individual kept coming closer, now they were close enough that I could hear their footsteps as they trampled the crackling dead leaves that were scattered all across the yard. I looked around for a possible weapon in the event of an assault. There was an abandoned washing bat laying on the ground on the other side of the drying ling that was just close enough for me too reach. I knelt down feigning to reaching for another bed linen, instead grabbing the bat. I took it in both hands, shooting upward and around nearly striking Lieutenant Brewster in the head.   
“Christ woman, you nearly took m’ head off!” he shouted after dodging my defense. I huffed annoyed by his blatant lack of common sense to let me know it was him.   
“Well, you should have made your presence known!” I shouted back at him. I lowered my weapon watching him collect his composer. Lieutenant Brewster seemed to be amused as well as a smirk appeared on his bearded face. The whole scene was rather amusing.  
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right. A pretty lass such as yourself must be uneasy while in the midst of such a large company of lonely men and lovesick boys.” I was not sure if his words were a threat or a warning. I cautiously tightened my grip on the handle of my bat.   
“Why are you here, Lieutenant?” I was very apprehensive standing there, unsure of what might happen next. I looked Lieutenant Brewster up and down, measuring him up and determining what weapons he had on his person should he be so bold as to assault me. I knew absolutely nothing about this man, only that he is a friend of Major Tallmadge. However, it is your friends that you should be the most cautious around. You never truly know the character of a person.  
“Ah, Major Tallmadge asked me to inquire if you would come and speak with him.” Lieutenant Brewster was strangely hesitant in his request as if he was afraid of my answer.   
“Why doesn’t Major Tallmadge come here and ask me himself?” I stood firm, crossing my arms probingly. Would the Major be so pretentious as to summon me? Surely he wouldn’t be so brazen?   
“Well, he’s, uh, busy at the moment.” I raised an eyebrow at Brewster’s hesitation, which was intriguing. It is quite understandable that Major Tallmadge would be occupied with important matters concerning the war, but what could he possibly have to discuss with me?  
“And what does the Major want to discuss with me?” I pried further. Lieutenant Brewster was stumped by my question, he did not have an answer prepared. He search his mind for an answer that would convince me to go with him. He probably though I would have just went with him to the Continental encampment no questions asked. He was wrong. I am not the sort of woman to come when merely called for no apparent reason. I waited for Lieutenant Brewster’s answer with waning patience.   
“Well, he, didn’t really say.” He said looking up from the ground scratching the back of his head nervously. I obviously didn’t believe him, not that I would say as such. I just looked at him with untrusting scrutiny.   
I don’t see the harm in going to speak with Major Tallmadge, on the contrary, I was rather enthusiastic about it. I was merely wondering as to why he wanted to speak to me. There was much left be discussed after last night’s intriguing conversation. I wanted to know more about him, and quite evidently he was intrigued by me as well. It could be that or it could be something else entirely. Whatever the reason was, the secrecy of behind it only heightened my curiosity. I had to find out.  
“Very well I suppose. Just let me tell Tildy where I ‘m going.” I sighed feigning exasperation. I walked over to the washing room where Tildy and Rachel were finishing the last load of laundry. I stuck my head inside the doorway. “I’m going into town. I’ll be back before supper.” I loudly informed the room. I heard Tildy mumble something in passing as she waved me off. I turned back to Lieutenant Brewster confidently, “Well, shall we?” I lead on as we began to make our way across the hundred acres of property.   
I know every inch of this farm, from the creek that made up the border between our land and the Howard’s to the King’s Road that passes through town on its way to Philadelphia. An early autumn chill was in the air, the colors on the trees were already turning into a variety of shades that ranged from gold to vermillion red. I listened to the rustling of the fallen leaves underneath our feet as we pressed on. There was an awkward silence between us that was gnawing away at me. I didn’t want to be rude. So I attempted to spark a conversation.   
“So you and Major Tallmadge grew up together in Setauket?” I inquired glancing over at him. I was hoping to learn a bit more about the Major before meeting him again. To my relief Lieutenant Brewster was not annoyed by my question, he seemed to be surprised to be prompted to reminiscence of happier times past.  
“Yes, we’ve know each other since we were lads, in a small town like Setauket, everybody know everybody. His father was the reverend. “He spoke with a small degree of sadness, a longing for a home that he could not go back to.   
“Was?” I inquired, the use of the past tense seemed to imply that Major Tallmadge’s father was now currently deceased.  
“Well, he’s not dead. We had to go home and rescue Ben’s father and some others from those bloody back bastards that had come in and occupied the town when they first took New York.” He paused a moment looking very solemn as he reflected on more recent events. “We took back the town, but we didn’t save everyone. My uncle, was killed by a red coated bastard named Simcoe.” There was a great sadness in his voice as he spoke.  
“I’m sorry for your loss.” I gave the lieutenant my sympathies. There was a hatred for the enemy that burned in his eyes I saw when he looked over at me.   
“Yeah, I suppose that’s all anyone can say. That’s what’s supposed to happen in a war I suppose, people die.” He was quite frank with that last statement. I decided not to continue any further on the matter. I’m afraid my attempts at learning about Major Tallmadge from Mr. Brewster had failed. I will have to take my time with this and inquire directly with the Major myself. I will judge his character in person and shall see if I will find reason in my affections.   
I could tell we were getting close to camp because of the smell. I had only been a day since the soldiers arrived and yet a horrid stench had already began to rise from the encampment. As we entered the camp, we walked by the scattered alignment of tents trudging through the mud that had been stirred by hundreds of feet. All around me there was an atmosphere of melancholy and defeat. The moans and coughs of the sick also moved through the air. I looked into every face and I saw hopelessness. I had known that the conditions of the Continentals were desperate, but nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. Small groups huddled around a small fire that cooked what little provisions they were allotted. Several men were without boots and had only strips of linen wrapped around their feet to protect them from frostbite. Some of the faces belong to the young, some to the old, none where the faces of professional soldiers. They were but farmers, tailors, and shopkeepers. They were not made for war.   
I was only in a small section of the camp, which was spread across a fifty acre corner of our property. Lieutenant Brewster began to lead me through the labyrinth of misery toward the large tent locate in the center of the camp. As we approached Major Tallmadge’s tent, I grew nervous. The knots in my stomach returned and my heart began to race. Brewster pulled back one side of the entrance and went inside the Major’s tent. I hesitated to follow. Before I was confident in my endeavors, but now I grew perturbed. Lieutenant Brewster held open the tent for me, and I mustered my courage taking a deep breath and went inside. Once inside I looked around the room surveying my surroundings. On one side of the tent was a small cot and at the other sat Major Tallmadge at a portable desk. He was attentive to his work even after Brewster and I had entered. His brow was furrowed in concentration as he diligently scribed on parchment. I watched him as he toiled and became curious as to what matters were the focus of his attention.   
“Ehm, Miss Allen, as requested.” I heard Lieutenant Brewster announce. He had a sarcastic tone perhaps that was how his humor worked towards his friends. Brewster’s announcement quickly gained Tallmadge’s attention. He suddenly looked up from his work and his eye met mine as he hastily rose from his seat at the desk. As he stood there for a moment and said nothing so I took an opportunity to just observe him. He had a handsome face as I had observed from our first encounter. He was considerably taller than myself and I am taller than most young women my age. I examined every detail of him as he stood before me, from the intricacies of his uniform to the sharpness of his jawline. Now there was an awkward silence between the three of us, so I decided to break it.  
“So Major Tallmadge, the Lieutenant here says you have a something to discuss with me.” I smiled at him. Tallmadge seemed to have all but forgotten the reason as to why I was brought here. He seemed nervous as he tried to recall his motive for sending Brewster after me. I was rather amused, but also slightly irritated.   
“Oh yes, of course.” He remembered at last. “Please, sit.” He gestured toward his desk chair. I apprehensively strode across the tent toward the desk just grazing past him and sat down. “That will be all. Thank you Caleb.” He expressed to Lieutenant Brewster to leave as this was apparently to be a private discussion. I looked up at Brewster for his reaction, and he did not really seem to like being ordered to leave, not matter how politely. Major Tallmadge and I watched and waited as Brewster exited then tent. Once we were alone I thought the anxiety would subside immediately, quite to the contrary, it got worse.   
“I’m sorry about all the mystery surrounding all this.” He spoke sincerely his Long Island accent betraying his origins. He searched his personal effects diligently pulling out a bottle of wine and two glasses. “Would you have a glass?”   
“Yes, please.” I replied thankfully. He poured one glass handing it to me and I sipped. The wine was as appeasing as I thought it might me for. I held the glass in my hands placing them in my lap. “It’s quite all right. Although I was a bit apprehensive at first, but Lieutenant Brewster was rather insistent.” I laughed taking another drink. He smirked as he poured his glass of wine.  
“Yes, he does that.” I watched him as he poured his glass. “Perhaps you are wondering as to the reason I asked Caleb to bring you here.” He spoke looking back at me.   
“Yes, the thought had crossed my mind.” I glanced up at him with a smirk. I replied sincerely, but with an undertone of impudence. I took another drink and observed him as he watched the movements of the men from the open tent. His manner soon turned melancholy as he took a drink from his glass. I suddenly felt the mood change drastically.   
“The situation is dire Miss Allen. Many of the men, they are in serious need of medical care. Every day more and more men are coming down with the pox and typhoid.” He spoke with such despondency never looking back to me. I knew that this company was just a small representation what was happening throughout Washington’s Army. My thoughts went back to the moment I arrived to the campsite and the horrid conditions that had met me.   
“Is there not a surgeon with your company?” I asked troubled by the information Tallmadge had just given to me. Tallmadge rose from his cot with frustration.   
“No, all of the surgeons are scattered and with the larger main forces.” I could tell that his frustration lay with the lack of support and supplies for his men, a frustration felt all around the commanders. This knowledge was very troubling. I rose from my seat and stood firmly.   
“What is it that you are asking of me, Major Tallmadge?” He completely turned around facing me. Once again our eyes met. The sadness that had appeared in Major Tallmadge’s eyes before had now disappeared. I stood firm ready for whatever was to come.  
“I’m asking for your help.”


	10. Healing Hands

This was certainly was not what I was expecting, even though I had no idea what to expect. I did not necessarily know what “help” it was Major Tallmadge was asking of me. I had to debate his request with myself. I am quite capable of providing medical treatment. I have read dozens of books and journals on the practice of medicine and mother taught me herbal remedies growing up. The knowledge I have gained has proven very useful during, our local physician, Doctor Winthrop’s absences. I have had much experience, treating our neighbors’ injuries and illnesses. However, I doubt it’s my medical knowledge that Major Tallmadge needs or wants. Women are not taken seriously in the medical world unless they are midwives, which on multiple occasions I was midwife to several mothers including one of my dearest friends, Charlotte Howard. There were many possibilities as to the notion of his request so I decided that intrigue further into Major Tallmadge’s intention.   
Major Tallmadge had reverted back to looking out over the encampment from the opening of his tent as he waited for my answer. I took a long deep inhale of the cold autumn air. I could smell the aroma of burning wood and the musky scent of stirred earth. I stared at Major Tallmadge, taking the opportunity to observe him once again. I was enamored at the intricacies of the stitching in the white patterns of embroidery and the way the light made the gold button shine. I exhaled watching the cool mist of my breath float away from me. I had every intention of accepting his appeal. I had a duty to the cause, as well as taking advantage of the opportunity to satisfy my curiosity. We would be seeing quite of bit of each other in the coming weeks, I was certain of that.   
“What sort of assistance do you require?” I asked staring up at him. He turned towards me, a manner of enthusiasm had grabbed him letting out a short breathy laugh as a grateful smile appeared on his face. I replied with my own bashful smile. He quickly took a seat beside me as his determination took over and I watched him carefully as he began to speak. My breathing grew labored and my heart pounded faster from my anxiety and the excitement.   
“Well, there, is the matter of obtaining proper provisions for my men.” He was so fervent about my answer that he stumbled in his words. He must not have thought that I would say yes. I was charmed by his eagerness. I listened and watched him intently as he continued listing the desperate and obvious needs of his men. I recalled the scenes of desolation from earlier. “There is also a desperate need for a surgeon.” I was apprehensive about telling him about what I was capable of.  
“Could not Congress send more aid?” I asked him. The Continental Congress had escaped Philadelphia barely before the city was lost to the redcoats. His jaw clenched with frustration had become more prominent in his facial structure.   
“No, they can’t. The supply lines are muddled at best, at worst, non-existent.” He sighed with exasperation. “And the Continental dollar is all but worthless.” This was true, no merchant in his right mind even if he were a patriot would sell away his product for a valueless currency. I could only imagine the desperation being felt throughout the Continental Army. I knew I had to assist in any way I could or at least try.   
“I’ll see what I can do. The townspeople are loyal to the cause, perhaps I could sway them to give something out of their stores.” Major Tallmadge gave a thankful smile, but before he could speak further I had to let him know that there were no certainties. “Although, I can make no guarantees.” I was doubtful that such a proposition would be popular, winter was coming and the townspeople had to make preparations. Pennsylvania winters are not mild in the least. “Now on the matter of a surgeon. Have you spoken with Doctor Winthrop?” His expression changed from grateful to embarrassed.   
“Yes, and well, he, he doesn’t seem very reliable. How much do you know about him?” He apprehensively asked for my opinion on Doctor Winthrop and more information about the man. He did not have to explain, I could probably guess quite closely what happened when Major Tallmadge’s called upon the good doctor.  
“He was drunk wasn’t he?” I asked him thoughtfully, he nodded. Major Tallmadge wanted a good proper physician to help provide aid to his men. It is understandable the he be cautious in dealing with strangers. I had quite a lot to explain to him. There was a reason as to why Doctor Winthrop drinks so heavily, it is no excuse for his, at times, haughty behavior. There have been multiple times where the doctor has gone on a drunken rampage through the local tavern. Was he the only town drunkard, no, there are quite a few of them. Yet, I have a great deal of sympathy for the Winthrop, he has dealt with a lot of tragedy in his sixty years of life.  
I knew I had to explain to Major Tallmadge the circumstances of Doctor Winthrop’s drunkenness. I smiled and turned towards him,” You see Major Tallmadge, Doctor Winthrop is a good man and a fine physician. Yet he has suffered many tragedies in recent years.” I now had Tallmadge’s full attention his manner now grown more open to sympathy for Doctor Winthrop’s plight. “His wife died many years ago leaving him to raise his two boys while they were still really young. I knew his sons very well. His oldest son John, was not much older than myself when he was killed at Brandywine. James, the younger of the two, died only a few months after he was captured and sent to the Jersey. So as you see the circumstance are quite explicable.” Suddenly I realized something I had said somehow struck a nerve with Tallmadge, he tensed up and turned away from me. He appeared to be upset by what I had told him. “Benjamin, are you alright?” I attempted some sort of reassurance that I meant no offense by placing my hand gently on shoulder. ” I did not mean to upset you so.” I asked concerned about him and whether or not I had offended him somehow. It troubled me deeply to think that I had hurt him somehow. He soon relaxed beneath my touch, and turned back again to gaze at me with a warm smile on his face.   
“I know, of course you didn’t.” He is right hand reached up and gently touched mine, which still lingered on his shoulder. It lingered there for a moment and I stared at our two hands then I timidly stared up at him for what seemed hours. My heart had begun to do that infernal fluttering again and my quickened. All of a sudden a commotion outside and a young lieutenant broke our attention. The young man burst into the commander’s tent with great haste. I quickly pulled my hand away from the Major’s shoulder, blushing and mortified.   
“Sir, there has been an attack on one of our scouting patrol, Morris has been shot!” He could barely catch his breath. The mood of the room had dramatically changed. Major Tallmadge and I stood up, the shock of an enemy attack so close to home had made me very afraid.  
“Where is he now?” Major Tallmadge questioned him, his commanding presence made the soldier stutter his answer.  
“The infirmary, quickly Sir, I don’t think he’ll survive much longer.” Major Tallmadge hastily went with him and I followed behind them. The camp was in a commotion as we passed through on our way to the makeshift infirmary. Trudging through the mud as we approached the tent that I believed to be the infirmary, we could hear the agonizing screams of the injured man within. The soldier and Major Tallmadge entered the infirmary, I was rather reluctant to follow. It was not that I hadn’t seen my fair share of blood. Women see more blood in their lifetimes that men could ever possibly see. I was hesitant to go inside because I know if I did that I would try to help save this man’s life. I didn’t want to b considered boaster, and display any of my capabilities. Yet, something inside me said to hell with it. I pulled away the entrance and went inside where a horrific scene met my eyes.  
The man lay on the surgeons table, his blood-soaked shirt hung on a chair. His moans of pain only momentarily calmed by the wine he was being given by one of his fellow soldiers. He was wounded in the left region of the torso near the ribs, not necessarily fatal if the bleeding were controlled. The smell of blood had filled the air with its rusted smell. I was not nauseous, however, I was rather anxious. My eyes found Major Tallmadge in the huddle of Continentals. I quietly walked up beside Major Tallmadge glancing at him.  
“What can I do?” I whispered to him. He looked down at me, his eyes filled with worry. He pulled me aside. He seemed to be surrounding me, shielding me from the gore.   
“Can you get Doctor Winthrop here?” he whispered to me. I nodded.  
“I can try.” He replied with a single nod and I left the tent. I promptly went to procure a horse for the journey to the doctor’s home nearly four miles away. I finally found a grey steed that was unguarded and I mounted. I was a good rider, it would not take me long to reach the village. I gently kicked the stallion forward and galloped away.  
“Halt!” I heard a soldier call out from behind me, I speed onward leaving the camp long behind me. I only looked back to make sure I wasn’t being followed by Continentals, I wasn’t. I rode hard down the road towards White Marsh. The scenery around me was a blur of autumn colors and the cold air stung my nose and cheeks. I rode for an hour before I finally galloped over the last hill before reaching the village. Pushing further I galloped into the village and to Doctor Winthrop’s door. I swiftly dismounted, tied the horse to the post, and ran to his door. I knocked hard four or five times but there was no answer.   
“Doctor Winthrop! Doctor Winthrop! Please, this urgent!” I called out at his window, but there was no reply. I was frantic. Where the hell is he!  
“Sorry Kate, the doctor’s not at home.” I heard someone call to me. It turned around, it was Mrs. Thompson, a burly woman in her early forties streak of grey in her black hair, and Doctor Winthrop’s neighbor came up to me.   
“Where has he gone?” The dread in my voice seemed to unnerve her.   
“To the Billings house, Mr. Billings appears to be ill again.” Mrs. Thompson seemed ready to gossip, but I would not have it.   
“Well, do you know when he will be back?” I pressed her further, surely he wouldn’t be there for too long.  
“No time soon, I wouldn’t think, dear. Is everything alright with your father?” She was either being very concerned or very nosy. I did not care. I had to get back to the camp.   
Yes, yes they’re all fine, but if you please excuse me I must go.” I brushed her aside as I untied my horse and mounted once again. I galloped out of White Marsh and made my way back home. As I sped down the road back towards our farm that I decided it was now up to me.   
I could smell an afternoon rain coming in the musty air. Dark clouds had also began to form on the horizon as I hurried onward. The sound of the horses breathing and the sound of the beating hooves on the dirt were all I could hear. As I rode up the house, I could see Jonas tending the small garden by the front porch. I slowed the horse down to a complete stop. I could hear Jonas behind me.  
“Miss Kate your Father’s been awfully worried, askin’ where you’ve been.” I handed him the reigns.  
“Please hold the horse Jonas, I don’t have much time to explain. If been in the Continental camp and a patrol was attacked, a man was shot. Doctor Winthrop is gone again so I must help him.” I said hastening up the porch steps and wiping the mud off of my boots. “Could you tell Father that when you see him? I have to get my books and medical kit.” I went inside the house and crossed straight to the library to find one of my anatomy books. I glided my fingers over the titles, at last I found the one, Versalius’ treatise, De Humani Corpis Fabrica. The drawings were very accurate and helpful. I exited the library manuscript in hand.  
“Rachel!” I called out to her, my voice was loud and my need was urgent. I heard her footsteps from upstairs.  
‘Yes, Miss Kate?” I heard her call from upstairs.   
“I need you to hurry and bring down my medical kit.” I bluntly ordered. I waited as she hastily went into my room a brought down my medical kit I keep underneath my bed. I have it always at the ready in case of circumstances exactly such as these. It is fully stocked with any supplies I would need such as linen, stitching, and herbal remedies Rachel hurried down the stairs. I reached and grabbed my kit from her before she could reach the bottom. I put the manuscript in in bag and hurried out the door.   
“But Miss where are you going?” Rachel asked before I was out the door. I quickly turned back to her.  
“I’m going back to the camp. Don’t worry Rachel, I’ll be alright.” I assured her before hurrying out of the house and down the porch steps. I handed Jonas my kit so that I could mount my horse, he handed it back to me and I situated it comfortably in front of me so that it would fall as I rode. “I’ll be back soon.” I told Jonas as I kicked the steed onward. I once again enter the camp. I slowed down and made my stop just inside the camp. I was helped off of my horse by one soldier. “Thank you.” I told him and I trudge through the camp, kit in hand, toward the infirmary. But before I could go any further I was apprehended.   
“Stop right there you! You are under arrest for horse thievery!” A burly soldier called out from behind me, while two others grabbed me. My kit fell out of my hand and onto the ground. There was no one else nearby, no one I could call for help.   
“Get your hands off of me! I’m am here under orders from Major Tallmadge!” I barked right back at him. A fury had built up inside of me that was on the verge of lashing out.  
“Oh is that so?” The man was ever condescending, if he even knew what that meant. ”Well, I’m under orders from General Washington, to hang horse thieves. No matter how pretty.” He said grabbing my chin holding it firmly. I sharply pulled away and went to bite his hand for even daring to be so bold. One had loosened his grip of my right arm so I took advantaged and swung at their leader. They quickly grabbed me even harder. “Oh, feisty ain’t she boys. Perhaps we should show her how to behave.” His two accomplices laughed approvingly. I struggled in their strong grip. My attempt of pretending to not be afraid was failing. I was breathing heavily my chest rose and fell rapidly. The two miscreants suddenly threw me into the clutches of their leader. I started to scream, but suddenly I heard a loud booming voice.  
“Get your goddamn hands off her!” It was Lieutenant Brewster, his eyes burned in fury. They quickly let go of me. I jerked away grabbing my medical kit. I crept over to stand behind Brewster. Caleb had paced up to the leader of the band and got in his face. The barrel of his pistol was mere inches away from the man’s face.   
“We were just apprehending her for stealing the Major’s horse, Sir.” They tried to talk their way out, but it was to no avail.  
“Sure that’s all you were doing? If I see you bastards anywhere near this lass again, I’m gonna crack your damn skulls open like an egg.” I did all I could to hide my smile of approval.   
“Yes, sir” All three men blurted out before scampering off like the rats that they were. I was amazed and grateful.   
“Thank you, Lieutenant Brewster.” I tried to covey my gratitude with as much sincerity as I could. I was shaken, but I tried my best to hide it.  
“That was nothin’. Imagine if Benny boy had caught those bastards tryin’ to have their way with you.” He said brushing it off as if it were just a simple occurrence. Brewster wasn’t one to do things to be thanked, he just did them.   
“That wasn’t nothing to me. You saved me from, god knows what would have happened.” I gave a faint smile in thanks trying to mask the anxiety inside me.   
“Well, what did I say about being wary of that sort. Anyways, Ben asked for me to watch for you. Where’s the surgeon.” He looked at me questioningly.  
“Right here.” I said holding up my bag. He was shocked but I was in too much of a hurry to care. I had to get to the infirmary. We’ll deal with those bastards later, right now more pressing matters are at hand. Brewster and I headed straight for the infirmary. I went inside confidently and found a very grave sight. The man was very pale and barely breathing. I found Major Tallmadge standing arms crossed at the foot of the surgeon’s table. When he saw me he quickly came over to me.  
“Where’s Doctor Winthrop?” He asked looking around as if the doctor had been invisible.  
“He not coming.” I said shaking my head with disappointment. Major Tallmadge inhaled an anxious breath. So I made my move. ”But I may be able to help.”   
“How?” His uncertainty was to be expected. I opened my medical bag and pulled out the Versalius manuscript.   
“With this.” He looked at the text with surprise. I handed it to him and he looked through it at all of the anatomy drawings. When he finished he looked at me, he was worried for the life of this man. As was I, but he had to let me try. Frustrated by his silence I barked, “We can argue the idea of a woman’s proper place later, but right now you have to let me try and save this man.” Major Tallmadge looked at the dying man on the surgeons table then back at me and nodded his approval. The others in the room protested, but I drowned them out. I pulled out the linen dressings, needle and stitching, herbs used to combat fever, a scalpel, and a ball extractor that I had found in a merchant’s shop.   
I began examining the wound. I made comparisons with the drawing in the Versalius, determining how I should proceed. The bleeding had been stopped thankfully, now all I had to extractor the musket ball and prevent further internal bleeding. I needed light.  
“Major Tallmadge, bring that candle here please.” I pointed to the stray candle on the table beside him. He came to stand beside me. “Hold it here.” I took his hand bringing it closer to the wound so I could see in order to make an incision. “You all, come here and hold him down.” I motioned for the other four men to come and assist. They were reluctant to follow my directions, but Major Tallmadge motioned them to do as I had requested. One held down his arms, one held his head down putting a stick into his mouth to prevent him from biting off his tongue, while the other two held down his legs. I made the incision so that I could get the ball out. The solider screamed and jerked from the pain. I looked over at Tallmadge to see if he was still standing. “Are you alright?” I asked him with a smile. He nodded, I could see the nausea in his face. Once the cut was large enough I wiped the blood away. I could see a rib, to my relief it was not broken. This was congruent with the drawings in the manuscript. I did my best not to get any blood on it.  
I could see the ball. I reach for and grabbed the extractors. I was sweating due to my nerves. I had never done this before I had only watched from a distance. I took the extractors and reached in to grab the ball. The patient had already passed out from the pain.   
After two nerve-racking tugs, it was out. There was no sign of bleeding once I examined the wound. I closed the wound and applied a poultice of rosemary and yarrow to help with fever. The entire operation took less than a few minutes. I went to the basin. I washed my hands of the blood but I could not do so to my petticoat. Tildy is going to kill me, oh well, I think about that later, I thought as I repacked my kit with unused herbs. With a sigh of relief that the man was alive, for now anyway, I exited the tent to grab some fresh air. I was followed by Major Tallmadge. I gave him a relieved smile. Before I could say anything he spoke.  
“Might I escort you home?” He asked me in his chivalrous manner. I also did not want to go anywhere in this camp alone after the incident earlier.   
“Yes, thank you.” I accepted him with no hesitation. We were silent as we walked through the camp, I looked up at him to see his expression and he appeared to be thinking to himself. As we left the vicinity of the encampment Major Tallmadge suddenly looked over at me with a look of reverence. Confused by his expression I stopped walking.  
“What is it?” I inquired. Tallmadge seemed to be without words to express what he wanted to say. At last he was able to form a sentence.  
“That was amazing. Where did you learn to do that?” His remarks were well appreciated. I chuckled at his flattering words.   
“The same way any surgeon does, I suppose, study and observation. As you know I have quite an enthusiasm for reading. I was intrigued by medical manuscripts and journals. One day I decided to make use of what I knew. At first, I would just take care of the surplus patients that Dr. Winthrop was unable to see. ” I said humbly while still blushing from his compliment.  
“I’m sorry if I seem so surprised, it’s just, there are no women surgeons. At least none I ever met.” He replied with a smile looking at me. I grinned modestly.   
“It’s alright. I never really thought of myself as a surgeon. I just want to help in any way I can. I just want to be useful.” I said unpretentiously. Major Tallmadge stopped instantly turning to me.   
“You saved that man’s life and I have no doubt many others as well. You don’t have to be self-effacing about it. The way you commanded the room back there was astonishing. I had now idea. I must say, you are full of surprises, Miss Allen.” He spoke with such eloquence and sincerity that I felt a rush of emotions tighten within my chest.   
“Thank you.” I was enamored. I had never received such a show of appreciation like that before. I have received the compliments and gratitude of a few of my patients but nothing like this. My eyes welled with tears, but I refused to let him see them. I looked away from him, embarrassed. We silently continued on back to the house. I yawned from exhaustion. My back ached from riding hard to town and from bending over an open wound. The distance between the Continental encampment and my home did not seem as distant as it was this morning. I climbed the porch steps wearily. Once I reached the door, I realized Major Tallmadge hadn’t followed. I turned around to see him standing at the first step.   
“Goodnight, Miss Allen.” He smiled and bowed courtly. The moonlight glistened off of the gold buttons of his uniform and the hilt of his sword. His eyes shined as well as they looked up at me from the bottom step of the porch. I stood there silently trying to find something to say.   
“Goodnight, Major.” I finally replied with a smile and a curtsy. He turned to leave, and I opened the front door but did not enter. I watched him as he walked away. When he was out of sight I exhaled heavily, smiling to myself I went inside.


	11. Keeping A Secret

I turned around at once and went inside, closing the door behind me. My heart was racing, my breath labored. I leaned back against the door frame trying to catch my breath and reflecting back on all that had happened today. It all came flooding back into my mind. Those subtle moments in the tent and during the surgery on Mr. Higgins had greatly enlightened me. There was no longer any doubt in my mind that I have affections for Major Tallmadge, affections that I could no longer deny myself. I couldn’t help but laugh. My laughter was a release of all of this petty self-control that has been relentlessly governing me these past few days. I twiddled my fingers traces of blood still lingered under my nails. Looking down at my petticoat, I was frustrated to discover large bloodstains soaked into the fabric. I had hardly noticed them when the Major and I left the infirmary. He must have not noticed it either, for he surely would have told me so.   
My stomach began to growl and moan from emptiness. I bent down and pulled off my mud covered shoes leaving them by door. I looked around to make sure I wouldn’t be spotted coming in after being out for so long with no one knowing where I’ve been. Once I could that the coast was clear, I picked up my dress and medicine bag and quickly ran upstairs before I could been seen in my gore. I tried to make my footsteps as delicate as possible coming across the hallway towards my bedchamber. My empty hand reach for the knob but before I could twist it open I heard Rachel from behind me.   
“Oh, Miss Kate you’re home!” I heard her unintentionally and loudly announce. I snapped around unwittingly revealing my blood soaked gown. Rachel eyes went wide and she gaped in horror at the sight of me. “Oh my goodness!” She nearly screamed.   
“SHUSH!!!” I definitely did not want my sisters or especially Father, to see me like this. In a panic, I grabbed Rachel’s hand and pulled her inside my chambers with me and slamming the door behind me. There wasn’t any struggle as we rushed into the room. It was barely lit by the setting sun, so I lit a candle that sat on a table near me. I paused to catch my breath, Rachel was opposite me attempting to do the same.  
“What on Earth happened to you?” Her voice was a blended tone of alarm and concern for me. She came up to me checking me for wounds that would explain my state.  
“I am perfectly fine Rachel, calm down.” I said shrugging her off of me with a small laugh. The sat my medicine bag down on the table beside my bed.  
“Why are you covered in blood?” She whispered motioning to my blood soaked petticoat. I looked down at it, the sight of blood didn’t bother me at all really. I started to unbutton myself, before Rachel finally took over.  
“Well I, do suppose I need to explain.” I said as Rachel lifted my gown over my head. I untied my hoops and slid out of them tossing them to the side, leaving me in my shift. I was hesitant in my confession. I sighed as I sat down on my bed and began recalling all that happened today, the conversation with Major Tallmadge, Mr. Higgin’s injuries, riding to find Doctor Winthrop, and finally ending up having to perform the surgery myself. I left out the incident with those brutes who had molested me and Mr. Brewster preventing what would have happened next. I needn’t worry her. She listened attentively to every word. When I had finished I looked up at her to get her reaction. After a long pause she finally spoke.  
“Well. I appears you had a very exciting day.” She said with a warmth in her voice that eased the tension that had built up inside me. I sighed in relief. Then she gave me a grave look of concern. “Are you going to tell your Father?” The tension was now back. My stomach tightened.  
“No.” I said plainly. She seemed surprised that I wouldn’t confined in Father what I am and will be doing.  
“Why not?” She seemed perplexed that I would not share this information with my father. I was determined that my work in the Continental camp be kept a secret between the two of us. I could trust Rachel to keep this clandestine from the rest of my family.   
“Because he would try to stop me. He would say it’s too dangerous. Father, Anne, and Bess, they can know nothing about it.” Father was a very cautious man. He had his personal views about a young lady’s involvement in war, which he saw as a man’s duty not a woman’s. I didn’t want my sisters to know because they might try to come along and I couldn’t have them being harassed like I was just this afternoon. They need not know either. “I suppose I should be getting ready for dinner?” I said standing up slowly, I was dreadfully tired and sore. I yawned wearily, but I had to get dressed for dinner. My stomach moaned for a morsel of food. Rachel went to the chest at the foot of my bed and lifted a lovely green silk frock and petticoat that was one of my favorites to wear. I walked over to the basin to diligently scrub under my nails, removing any evidence of where I had been.   
“Well, tell me more about this, Major Tallmadge.” Rachel teased as she helped me into a new gown. I couldn’t help but smile and blush at the thought of him. I looked at her perplexed that she would even ask about him. I had made not mention to her about my affections for him, only what had been discussed in his tent. What does she know? Had Tildy been gossiping to her about it?   
“Well, I don’t really know that much about him.” I looked at her with all honesty, but that answer wasn’t going to satisfy. “He’s, well, he’s, handsome, well-educated, compassionate, brave, charming, and loyal.” The more I thought and spoke about him the more I wanted to see him again. Coming to my senses I continued, “But, I’ve only known him for a few days so that’s not really much to go on.” Rachel tightened my corset with a sharp tug that jerked my entire body. I knew what she was trying to do. She was trying to get me to admit my feelings aloud, something I hardly ever did, especially when it comes to the concept of men.   
“That is a lot to notice in just a few days.” She pointed out to me with a crooked eyebrow and a perceptive smile as she fixed my right sleeve. “So you like him then?” She asked. The blood rushed to my cheeks and a guilt formed in my chest. I looked at her from my peripheral as she circled around me to adjust my other my sleeve.   
“Well.” I stopped. If I was going to admit to someone else that mean I must admit it to myself as well. I had to be certain. A moment of silence lingered in the air before I made my decision. “Yes. Yes, I dare say I do.” I said in a revelation that removed anxiety’s grip inside me. I relaxed my arms to my sides smoothing out my dress with my hands. I felt the soft silk under my fingertips. Rachel helped me fix my hair which was an utter messed after an hour of hard riding with the wind blowing every which way. Undoing the pins my brown curls fell like thick waves on my shoulders. She pinned it up into a fashionable bun as I powdered my face. I could hear the grandfather clock downstairs strike. I rushed to put on a pair of black silk slippers and headed down to dinner.   
I treaded carefully down the staircase to avoid another embarrassing mishap. I could hear commotion coming from my sisters’ room as they bickered over who should get to wear a particular gown. I rolled my eyes snuffing a chuckle, amused by their squabbling. I glanced over at the dining room, Father had not come down yet and Tildy had already set the table. My dress rustled as I strolled across the entrance way to the parlor where I took a seat in one of the twin mahogany chairs that guarded the library. Putting my hands in my lap instinctively crossing them with my right thumb over my left, twiddling them tediously while waiting. Of course I’m the one that’s early. I could hear the typical noises one would except coming from the kitchen. An array of clangs and bangs of the cookware as well as the hustle and bustle of the cooks at work. The smell of tonight’s supper soon crept its way through the house and into my nose. I inhaled the scent of a delicious mixture of spices and roasted meat that made my stomach churned and growl for a morsel. I had not eaten since this morning. I had to find a distraction to occupy myself until everyone was downstairs to enter for dinner.  
My thoughts soon reverted back to last night and having read As You Like It with such distain, now I can look at it with an understanding that I didn’t have before. Now, I believe, I truly understood the love of Rosaline and Orlando, rather than just passing them off as lovesick fools. It was now my turn to be foolish. Being the eldest you don’t really get the chance to be reckless, as you are expected to set an example. Being the eldest of three sisters is even more of a challenge in that you’re expected to be a lady as well as the example. I could hear footsteps from above me making their way down the hallway and down the staircase. Two more sets of steps soon followed.   
“Well my dear, you’re home at last.” Father said as he came down, I smiled. I decided to put a on a mask to hide from them what was really going on. It was time to sharpen my acting skills. Father wore his brown waistcoat and jacket, his cravat was loose so I went over and tightened it. “What was so urgent that you had to rush off without a word?” He asked curiously.   
“Oh it was nothing, Mrs. Henry thought she had gone into labor. I tried to assure her that it was nothing more than false labor, but she wouldn’t let me leave her until she was certain the child wasn’t coming.” I said rolling my eyes as I tucked his cravat into his waistcoat. Father nodded with understanding. I believed my lie was very convincing and quite credible. Mrs. Henry was known to be very anxious woman, especially when she is with child  
. I did not like lying to Father, my stomach was beginning to twist out of guilt, but I had to keep my secret. He will never have to know. I’ll just keep up this charade for as long as the Continentals and Major Tallmadge are here then everything will go back to the way it was before. Just as I finished fixing Father’s cravat, Anne and Bess finally came down and, at last, we went into dinner.  
I stared out and into the night as Tildy laid out the night’s main course of roasted beef. My mind drifted and became occupied with thoughts of all of the things I could do to help the sick and injured men and boys at camp. There are many measures of sanitation to be enacted as well as quarantining the most easily spreadable illnesses. I thought about Major Tallmadge and learning more about him, and he learning more about me. Beside and across from me I could hear Anne and Bess were chattering, most likely over something completely unimportant such as city gossip or hair ribbons. There was a muffled mumble coming from beside me, I turned and noticed Anne had been trying to get my attention.   
“What?” I asked having not heard what she was saying to me before. She giggled, amused over my lack of attention.   
“I said, have you heard about the battle?” She said like she knew something important and more satisfied that I didn’t know.  
“What battle? Father?” I inquired, utterly confused looking to Father who was chewing a bite of roast. I knew about the horrible defeat at Brandywine. Had there been another? Where? When? Have we lost? I thought to myself in horror. Father swallowed and wiped his mouth before his answered me.   
“The news came this afternoon while you were gone. There was a battle at Saratoga, New York on the nineteenth. A British victory.” His words filled me with a mixture of anguish and frustration. “But Burgoyne suffered heavy losses, nearly six hundred men.”   
“But he still took the field” I said somberly looking at him.  
“Well it is not necessarily over yet my dear. General Gates and General Arnold are still holding on nearby and they could till yet pull off a victory.” Father had a sense of optimism, or well at least used it to make me feel more at ease. I wish I could say that I was.   
“I hope that is so.” I replied solemnly. The Patriot cause desperately needs a victory and soon.   
Dinner past in blur. I soon found myself in bed undressed in my nightclothes. The madness of the day’s events had left my body begging for rest. My entire body was stiff and aching. Once laid down in bed, I fell into a deep soothing sleep, so much so that I did not wake until first light.


	12. A Dangerous Idea

The next morning, the sun shone brightly causing me to stir from my slumber, but I did not want to get up out of bed. I turned over and put my face down into the pillow with a groan. I was too tired to even dream last night. My limbs were heavy and throbbing. As I lay there in my sloth I heard a soft knock at my door. Rachel came in to wake me for breakfast. I sluggishly rose from my bed, an aching sensation travel through my spine rising up into the back of my neck.   
“What time is it?” I asked her in a yawn as I rubbed my neck and stood up. I yawned again stretching myself to give it some relief of which there was little, letting out a groan as I relaxed my muscles.   
“It’s just about eight o’clock.” Rachel replied as she went into my closet and pulled out a gown. The daily procedure of dressing passed tediously as it does every day. I drowsily stood and mindlessly waited as Rachel helped me dress. I made a carless effort styling my hair pinning only half of it up, leaving a long length of tight brown curls down my back and over my shoulders. Once I was finished dressing I went to down to breakfast.  
I walked into the dining room and saw Father reading letters that must have just arrived. Jonas pulled out my chair for me and I thanked him with a smile. All I could think about was how I was going to keep Father from suspecting me while also going to tend to the sick and wounded soldiers. I’ll just stay home for a day or two. When the time is right, I’ll go back. I thought to myself as Tildy served me my bowl of porridge.   
Anne and Bess were busy chatting away around me, but I wasn’t listening. My mind was elsewhere, well it was more everywhere to tell the truth. I had to hide my work in the camp from Father, attempt to understand my feelings towards Major Tallmadge, and now I worry about the news of the battle in Saratoga. It is inevitable that the enemy will start moving into the countryside to strike against the Continentals, especially now after the capture of Philadelphia. I was feeling more troubled than ever. Redcoats aren’t known for their charm. Tales of burnt out homes and murdered civilians reminded me of what could happen here, to my family.   
I had hardly eaten. I was too preoccupied to even be concerned about eating. I asked Father if I could be excused. He nodded approval and Jonas once again pulled out my chair for me. Laying my napkin beside my empty plate, I knew I had to find something to do to occupy myself. Retreating for the library, I knew that some reading would help ease my mind. Closing the door behind me, I started combing the shelves for some means of escape. My eyes glanced over the various titles in English, French, Latin, and German. I have practically read every single book in this library, some multiple times. I pulled one out at random, not even bothering to look at the title and took my seat in the window. Opening the withering cover, I see that I had selected The Castle of Ortranto. I hadn’t read this novel in such a long time that I was intrigued enough to go ahead and reread it. I had forgotten how dark the story was, so much betrayal and death.   
I sat there for hours immersed Walpole’s story of the cruel tyrant Manfred. I was near the end just as Isabella was murdered when, without warning, loud musket fire sounded from outside. I heard my sisters scream from the noise and glass break as something fell to the floor. I was so alarmed that I jumped out of my seat. My heart rapidly thumped within my chest as I tried catching my breath. I ran out to see what had happened in the dining room to find Tildy pick up the remnants of several plates and my sisters gathered around the window looking out investigating the commotion.   
“Is everything alright?” I asked them all. Father was still sitting at the table reading, he only looked up when I entered the room. My sister were a bit shaken up by the commotion and Tildy was sweeping up the broken glass.  
“What on Earth was that?” Bess asked turning to me with fear in her eyes as I came up to the window standing beside them. I leant my body against the window frame crossed my arms across my chest and looked out over the front lawn of the property but could see nothing.   
“Oh, they’re probably just drilling today I suppose. It’s nothing to worry about.” I told them. The men were more than likely out practicing formations and such, nothing to be afraid of, it’s just the girls had never heard musket fire before. This was as close to the war as they had ever come into contact with. Yet, this wasn’t my first experience with the blaring report of guns. I knew the sound well. The sounds reminded me of the pungent smells of gunpowder, blood, and, death. I shuddered at the memories of what happened that day, of what I saw, and of what I had to do. A sweet voice from beside me pulled me out of the darkness events past.   
“Would Major Tallmadge be the one commanding them then, Kate?” Anne asked looking up at me. Was she trying to get a reaction out of me? Well, it worked. What did they know? I gave her a look, eyebrow raised that meant ‘Keep your mouth shut.’ However, I couldn’t help it, the striking image of Major Tallmadge mounted on his horse, commanding his men in battle with all of the gallantry and chivalry that befitted him only made me smile.  
“Yes, I suppose he is.” I spoke about it as pure fact, but the grin on my face was the only answer they were looking for. The two of them look at each other and giggled. I rolled my eyes and went over to see what matters of concern Father was so deeply invested in. I crouched behind him, he did not at first notice my presence. “What is it Father?” I had slightly startled him, he sharply turned and looked over his shoulder.  
“Oh, just some business ventures your uncle is concocting with his new friends. He wants me to invest as well.” He was concerned and now so was I. I wanted to press further, but I also didn’t want Anne and Bess to chime in on what they didn’t understand.  
“Girls, why don’t you go into the parlor and, practice your needlework or something?” I shooed them off and they reluctantly complied. Once they were out of ear shot I sat down next to Father.  
“What sort of business investment?” I inquired concerned as to the meaning behind his tone. A tension filled the air in the room that made me more uncomfortable. Handing me the letter in his hand Father’s words were grave.  
“Procuring supplies for the King’s soldiers, he calls it.” I took the letter from his hand and read over its contents. Times are becoming much more difficult for those who remain disloyal to the King it would be for the benefit of us all to accept our new situation. Having financial security with the Crown is the wisest option. I have made military contacts that are enthusiastic to do business with us. By pulling our resources together, we can secure an even great profit for our goods than ever before. I implore you Brother to take advantage of this valuable opportunity for our family. The more I read the angrier I became. I felt my nose crinkle with disgust and my fists clinched in anger. But rather than let out my rage in an outburst, I sat back in my, aghast. Apparently loyalty is as easily bought and sold as a mule. Although I really shouldn’t be all that surprised, my uncle is a businessman after all, he go whichever way the wind blows in order to secure a profit. Uncle’s plan for secretly remaining loyal to the cause must have been completely eradicated, the situation in the city must be worse than I thought.   
“Have you decided?” I looked at Father for some sort of answer. He shook his head, no. The fervent patriot inside me screamed for Father to write back telling Uncle and his new friends to go straight to Hell. However, as I sat there and pondered it further, suddenly a dangerous idea popped into my head. The realization made me sit straight up in my seat. What better way to help our cause than to make the enemy believe that you are on their side?   
My eyes grew wide and my mouth gaped open almost in a laugh. It didn’t take but a minute for me to respond, “I think you should take the time to consider it.” I said with hint of enthusiasm, perhaps too much. Father gave a confounded look that I understood as him asking, Who are you and what have you done with my daughter? He was surprised by my answer and was visibly contemplating it. He slowly rose from the head of the table. I stood up as well, the wooden chair gave a loud screech as it dragged on the floor. Father gathered his papers and made his way to his study. I was following beside him.   
“There is plenty of time between now and the beginning of winter. I’ll speak with my brother further, try to learn more about these contacts of his.” He said laying the stack of papers on his desk. There was uncertainty in his voice, but I just nodded in silent agreement.   
“Of course, Father.” I said timidly while the idea of making friends with the enemy while infiltrating for the Continentals buzzed around in my mind. Father took a seat at his desk. I left him to his work. Since he commandeered my library, I needed to find somewhere to go and be alone to think.   
I noticed that no one was outside on the verandah enjoying the calm autumn afternoon. Just as I stepped out just as a cool breeze blew and rushed against my skin. I began to pace up and down the open portico pondering what I should do. A plan began to form. Once we returned to the city, after the harvest time of course, I would play the role of the socialite and so would be granted unlimited access within the Loyalist social circles. I already had multiple associates that are already mingled in with the British. Uncle William and Aunt Augusta would get me inside while my childhood companions Peggy Shippen and Becky Franks would certainly welcome me with open arms into their circle. I have no doubt the girls have British officers gawking over them. Once I’m inside I could pass any intelligence on to the Continental command. Perhaps Washington already has several spies in the city. I could make contact with them in order to get any intelligence I learn through to those who would make use of it. I would become a spy for Washington. But how?   
I continued walking back and forth across the porch. I needed a way to get to Washington, to offer myself for the arduous task. Who would be my way in? I could ask Major Tallmadge, I thought to myself. No, he’s a dragoon commander, he wouldn’t know if Washington had spies, I thought shaking my head. My brow was beginning to hurt from all of the concentration. My hands brushed back the loose strand of hair that blew in my face. What am I thinking, they’re not going take me seriously. They’ll just brush me aside, as if I’m of no worth. The more I thought about it, the more I began to doubt. This is mad. Mad and dangerous. I don’t know the first thing about being a spy! If I were caught, I could end up like that poor young man they hanged in New York. The memory of that day made me tremble. Anxiety crept into my stomach making me a little nauseous. I sat down frustrated by my own insecurity. My brow furrowed and my chest tightened. Then I thought about my mother, and what she would say to me now. My dear, you are a woman in a world built by men for men. You must work twice as hard to be recognized, and even then they will criticize you. They will underestimate you from the moment you are born until the moment you die. What this means is you must use their foolishness against them. Be their sweet lamb on the surface, but underneath have the heart of a lioness. Tears welled up in my eyes and my throat tightened at the memory of her, the smell of her lavender powder, her voice as she read me to sleep, and her strength. I could even feel her petting my hair, as I laid in her lap as a little girl. I missed her so, she would know what to do. My sisters hardly remembered her. They were so young when she died. These thought lit a fire inside me. Mother would not allow me to doubt myself, nor should I. I will go to Major Tallmadge and ask him to take me to General Washington. I will prove that I am more that capable of being a spy for him. Whether or not he accept, it will not be a loss for I will do it anyway. I will just have to find another way of getting my information to him.   
All of a sudden I could hear the loud thunder of hoof beats coming up the road. The sun was shining in my eyes, I raised my hand to shield my eyes so I could see who was coming. It was Mr. Henry hurriedly pulling his wagon up to the house. Mrs. Henry must really be in labor this time. I hurried over and opened the front door.   
“Rachel!” I yelled into the house. “Bring down my birthing kit!” I am not the only midwife near White Marsh, Mrs. Thompson, an elderly lady had far more experience in delivering babies than I had. When she was unable to come to the expecting mothers, they would call on me. Perhaps this is one instance where she couldn’t come. Mr. Henry and his wagon rushed up to the house. He jumped down just as Rachel burst out of the house with my bag in hand. He came rushing up to me out of breath. William Henry was a man in his mid-thirties, the early shine of grey had already began to appear in his black hair. Perhaps those greys came from his and Mary’s two older children. I helped delivered the youngest Henry child, Elizabeth.   
“The baby is not coming. The other ladies say it’s stuck.” Mr. Henry spoke with heavy breaths. I quickly grabbed my bag from Rachel. I was now worried for Mary and her unborn child. I felt guilty about using Mrs. Henry as a lie to my Father.  
“It’s alright, Mr. Henry. Here. ” I said putting and hand on his should in an attempt to bring some comfort holding out my bag for him to hold so I could get up into the front seat of his cart. He gave me back my bag running to the other side and practically jumped back into the cart. He whipped the reins and we were off in a mad dash to the Henry’s farm.   
The farm was a good distance away from ours. When we pulled up the small house I could hear the screams and moans of advanced labor come from inside. The older children were gathered outside in the yard. Mr. Henry helped me down and gave me the same worried look every father gives me whenever they are in fear for their wife and child. I tried not to look worried as well, for his sake. I patted him again on the shoulder and went inside the house.  
I made my way to the back bedroom where all of the noise seemed to be coming from. A couple of the neighboring women had already gathered to help Mrs. Henry with the birth, as is custom. The ladies, well, only did this out of obligation to Mary as a mother. They had their prejudices against the Henry’s because they were Catholic and against me because, to them, I was inexperienced. This wasn’t my first delivery, yet I am always nervous. Mrs. Henry was resting herself against the back of her bed. I was frustrated because she should not be in bed but in a birthing chair. But rather than yell at the other women in the room for their negligence I held my tongue. Mary’s thick red hair was wet with sweat as it stuck to her forehead. I sat my big down on the bed, opening it and pulled out the tools I need for the task at hand. I pulled out the scissors and twine, clothes and linens as well.   
“How long has she been in labor?” I asked one of the women standing by the door. She was slow to answer.  
“I’d say about a day now.” Another lady answered for her. She’s exhausted, I thought. I went over to her. I took a wash cloth at dipped in the basin of water beside her. I wiped her forehead with is and held it to her brow.  
“And has her water broken?” I asked them, they all shook their heads no. I sighed. Labors usually last quite awhile   
“It’s going to be alright, Mary.” I told her and there was a brief moment of peace in her face until another pain came and stole it. I lunged forward with a yell and I met her grabbing her in an embrace and stroked her back. She moaned into my shoulder for a minute and then released me from her grip. “Mary, I need to check the position of the baby. I need you to lie down and relax for just a moment.” I told her in a calm voice, she nodded. She was terrified, she knew something was wrong. I felt her belly and the baby was in a downward position and turned the correct way. So I took one hand and felt inside her, the baby’s head not as far down as it should be. I knew what I needed to be done. “Mary, I need you to stand and walk about the room awhile for me.” She got up from the bed and did as I asked her. Two of the women who were there had left when I came in. I did not care whatever prejudices they had against me or the Henry’s. I was here for Mary.  
After two more hours of walking back and forth and suffering labor pains, Mary water had broken and labor progressed even faster. I set up the floor to deliver the baby. I took her over to the birthing stands on the other side of the room. I motioned to the other ladies who were left to support her. I knelt down on the floor to catch the child. As she began to push I could see the baby coming. With every push and every scream the baby came out even further. Half an hour passed of constant pushing and Mary gave up out of exhaustion. She was wept that she couldn’t go on anymore. The baby was nearly out and I was going to give up on them.   
“Mary you have to push. Just one more hard push and your baby will be here. You can’t give up. Now push.” I commanded. With one last burst of energy she gave birth to a baby boy. The newborn was not crying and it was an unhealthy blue color. I held the child face down so gravity would help the fluid leave the lungs, sill it didn’t cry. I then rubbed the baby’s back in order to get it to cry. Nothing. My heart stopped, had I been too late to save him. Mary began to ask for him. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. I had not lost a child in delivery before.   
I held it in my hands not knowing what else to do. Suddenly the baby began to cough and he let out an ear piercing wail of life. The boy became a healthy shade of pink as he wailed in my arms. I breathed a sigh of relief and my heart soared. I smiled and wrapped the child in a linen swaddle. ”Mary, you have a healthy son.” I told her as I placed him in her arms. A smile of pure and utter joy appeared on her face. I checked Mary and made sure she was healthy, delivered the placenta, and cleaned off both her and myself. I then went outside. I found Mr. Henry waiting anxiously at the front door.  
“Congratulations Mr. Henry, you have a beautiful and healthy son.” I was so relieved and happy to be able to say that. He was amazed. This was his first son. His eyes grew wide and a bright smile swept across his face. He silently motioned asking if he could go in, and I nodded happily. He practically ran inside. I chuckled at the sight. I took a seat in a rocking chair on the front porch. Mr. Henry brought the two older daughter in to meet their little brother. I felt a sense of joy every time I delivered a child. This time was no different. I stayed there for a few more hours just to be sure both mother and child were out of danger. I helped Mary and the boy, they decided to name William after his father, into bed. As I packed up my bag, I watched as Mary tenderly cradled the newborn in her arms as she let him feed at her breast. Mary mouthed a thank you as I left the room. Mr. Henry, though reluctant to leave his now large family, drove me home.


	13. Chapter 13

The sun was beginning to set as Mr. Henry and I pulled up to my home. I could see someone was standing on the porch waiting. I couldn’t see who it was until we got closer. I sighed heavily as soon as I recognized the blue and gold uniform. Oh no. Well there goes my plan for avoiding him. I thought to myself, because there, standing and waiting on the verandah, was Major Tallmadge. My heart pounded as we came to a stop. Major Tallmadge came down the porch steps and took my hand helping me out of the wagon. I shuddered from his touch, but his hand was not cold. I stared up at him a moment. Then I remembered Mr. Henry I thanked him for bringing me home and I waved goodbye. I then turned my attention back to Major Tallmadge. It wasn’t that I was surprised to see him, it was just I was surprised that he came to me not I to him. Though I wasn’t sure as to why he was here in the first place. Why was he here?   
“Major Tallmadge, what a pleasant surprise?” I finally said something. I was surprised to see him again so soon. He smile “May I ask what bring you here?” He appeared nervous. He fumbled his words and breathed a laugh. It was charming. I couldn’t help but smile amusedly. I stood and studied him. His uniform appeared to shine, the blue and gold stood out more. It had been washed recently, as it was dirtier the last time we spoke. His eyes strayed from my gaze as he tried to find his words.   
“Ah, yes. Your Father invited us to dine with you and your family again tonight. I could not refuse.” His the smile at the end of his words made me flustered. I cleared my throat and tried to find something to say.  
“Is, uh, Lieutenant Brewster with you?” I asked of the wild man. He turned to look behind him. My eyes followed his towards the house.   
“Yes, he’s already inside. I wanted to wait out here for you to return. A friend of ours will be joining us as well, as soon as he’s getting dressed. ” He spoke with jestingly about this other mysterious gentleman. His words suddenly made me realize how much of a mess I probably looked. I was sweaty and my hair was unkempt from the wind whipping my hair during the ride home. I must have looked like a nightmare. I wanted to rush inside and get dressed for dinner, but I couldn’t move.  
“Thank you for waiting so patiently.” I said to him as we slowly head up the steps.  
“Oh, it is no trouble. Might I ask what called you away?” Before we went in he turned and looked at me with curiosity and seemed genuinely interested. I was happy to oblige him.   
“Yes, I was needed to deliver Mr. Henry’s newborn son.” I spoke while picking up my skirt with one hand and carrying my bag with the other, heading up the steps up to the front door. I reached for the door handle, but before I could reach it Major Tallmadge had already beaten me to it and opened the door. I was amused by the exchange. I nodded a thank you and went in with the major following close behind. I stopped in the foyer. James took Major Tallmadge’s cloak in a swift motion. Looking over to my left I could see my father and Lieutenant Brewster conversing by the fireplace. I turned around sharply.  
“If you’ll please excuse me Major Tallmadge.” I said with a short curtsey. I didn’t wait for a reply before I dashed upstairs a look of horror on my face as I met Rachel at the top. We both quickly went into my bedchamber to help wash and dress. I apprehensively went over to the mirror to see the damage. My hair was all out of place, frizzed, and unkempt. My face shined with sweat, red from heat and blushing. I quickly filled a basin and washed my face. I then proceeded to remove my cranberry woolen day gown. I continued washing myself of the sweat and grime that accumulated since this morning. Rachel and I went into the toilette to retrieve the hot irons need to fix the mess on my head. I sat on a chair patiently holding the hair pins and cushion, as Rachel went to work curling and calming down my untamed hair. She pulled the hair upward pinning it over the cushion as she placed it on the top of my head curling and straightening as she went. I passed up the pins to her when she laid out her hand for another. Once it was finished I went to take a look. It was a modest height, nothing too outrageous, I’ve seen Peggy’s hair twice as high. As I looked at myself all I could think was how superficial I must be to care about my appearance, but I couldn’t help it. I felt positively horrid, how dreadful I must have looked coming down from that cart. I breathed a heavy sigh trying to relieve the nervous pit in my stomach. The pit was probably caused by a combination of my anxiety over my plan and the unexpected appearance of Major Tallmadge, who always seems to make me nervous by just his mere presence.   
I walked over to my bed on which laid a fresh stay and shift to change into, which I proceeded to do so while Rachel assisted me with the lacing. As I held it in place she pulled the laces tighter. Once the stay shaped my body in place I felt the stiffness of it all over my stomach and chest. My breasts were so hard pressed by the stay, that my chest could barely lift as I breathed. Stepping over to my vanity I found my phial of rose water perfume and dabbled a small amount on my neck, chest, and wrists. I could hear the commotion as my sister leaving their rooms and going down stairs. Rachel was on the other side of the room hurriedly rummaging through my wardrobe for a suitable gown to wear. I went over to help her. She combed one side while I looked through the other. At last I found just the one I wanted to wear. It was a silk beige damask with an open robe and white linen petticoat. It was enough opulence to impress while still having a sense of reserve. I applied a small amount of power to my face and upper breast. Rachel went into my jewelry chest and pulled out a delicate strand of pearls and draped them over my head around my neck tying them with black ribbon. I smiled at her very emotionally because the pearls were my mother’s.   
The clock downstairs began to chime loudly letting the whole house know that it was six o’ clock. I glanced out of my window and saw the dark blue haze that appears just before the sky blackens into the night. I was running late so I hurriedly finished powdering my face. I had forgotten to put on my silk stockings. I rushed to the drawers and pulled out a pair of white stockings and clumsily sat down on my bed attempting to get them on. I tried to bend down to get them one, but one cannot bend while in a stay. I pouted and huffed in frustration. Rachel amused by my futile attempts helped me get them on. I slipped my feet into the matching beige silk heels. I had to make sure that I hadn’t forgotten anything. I didn’t want to make a fool of myself, again. I surveyed every aspect of my dress in detail, making sure everything was there and in place. I breathed a sigh to relieve the knots in my stomach. It was working, for now anyway. I finally gathered the confidence I needed to go down to dinner.  
While leaving my room I could hear everyone chattering away downstairs. I though, good no one will notice me as I come down. Comforted by the thought I proceeded down the hall and quietly made my way down the stairs. I held up part of my skirt so I didn’t step on it. I didn’t look up to see them because I was too busy concentrating on not falling. Soon I realized that the room below me had gone quiet. I uneasily looked up to see everyone staring up at me. Confused I looked behind me to see if anyone was behind me. Then I realized it was me they were in fact staring at. A flood up nerves and tension went through my body as I stiffened and continued on down the stairs. My anxiety did not improve either as soon I saw Major Tallmadge standing with my Father and Brewster. My sisters gathered around them like a gaggle of geese. We caught each other’s gaze and I suddenly stopped halfway down. The major left the circle and went to meet me at the foot of the stairs. Oh no. I thought. Here we go, please don’t fall. I swallowed the lump in my throat and went on focusing on each step. I could see Major Tallmadge extending his hand for me and I happily took it. Once my feet finally touched the floor, I could breathe at last. I had never felt more relieved. Our eyes met once again and I thanked him with a coy smile.  
“So tell me Major, who is our mysterious third guest who appears to lacking in punctuality?” I heard Father say from across the room. His question broke our gaze at each other. Tallmadge and I looked over to my father, he was standing in front of the mantel with a glass of sherry in hand. My sisters were huddled together at his side giggling and whispering to themselves, obviously about me and the major.   
“Ah yes, he is a…” Just as the Major began to speak the loud whiny of a horse and rattling cart interrupted him. James, our footman opened the door and went outside. “He’s is a French aristocrat who has volunteered his service to the cause. He wanted a fine home cooked meal before he left so I’ve brought him here.” Tallmadge spoke admirably about this mysterious monsieur, but there was a tone in his voice that seemed annoyed. “I must apologize for our, friend, you see I’m afraid his injury at Brandywine is what has kept you all waiting.” I recalled the events of the battle, there was so much chaos that day.   
We heard sluggish footsteps coming up the porch. I was difficult to see the man in the night. I could see James was assisting the uniformed gentleman up the steps. Trying to be of some help Major Tallmadge went and opened the screen door. The young man patted Tallmadge on the shoulder give him a smile of thanks. James released the man letting him limp on him own. The gentlemen gave James his cloak and hat in one smooth elegant motion. He used a cane to assist him in walking. I could tell his leg was still bandaged under his breeches. When he looked up I recognized his face though nearly three weeks had passed since I first saw him. He was the young man I bandaged after the retreat from Brandywine. Tallmadge came over and stood at his side.  
“Mr. Allen,” he said gesturing to my father.” May I introduce the Marquis de Lafayette?” The Marquis grimaced as he courteously bowed and my father replied with the same curtesy. Father turned to me offering his hand. I strolled over to his side that I may be presented to the Marquis. He was about my age from what I could tell and handsome, though I preferred Major Tallmadge.   
“Monsieur, might I introduce to you my eldest daughter, Katherine.” Father gestured to me. I smiled and curtsied offering my hand to the Marquis as was custom. He bent his head down to kiss my hand.   
“Vous êtes les bienvenus, Monsieur de Marquis .” I replied in my fluent French. His face was handsome and he hand an air about him that made him feel pleasant to be near.   
“Enchanté, Mademoiselle. ” He smiled charmingly from the corner of his mouth. He suddenly stopped and looked queerly at me and whispered. “Ça ne peut pas être. Ce ne est pas possible .” Oh no, he recognized me, I thought. Thankfully, the Marquis shook off any recognition of me he had, for now anyway. I breathed a sigh of relief, for now. My father had now turned his attention to introducing the Marquis to my sisters.   
“My younger daughters Anne and Elizabeth.” The two girls appeared beside me, fidgeting as they curtsied. He gave a small bow to them, making them giggle. I nudged them getting them to shut up. As a physician and as hostess, I was concerned for the Marquis’ health so I wanted to ease his pain as much as possible.  
“Monsieur, Voulez-vous se il vous plaît avoir un siege? ” I insisted to him walking him over and offering him a comfortable seat beside the tall oak grandfather clock while we waited. I remembered him more clearly now, I was rushing through the tents of the wounded that was when I saw him waiting to be attended. I saw the wound on his leg I quickly moved to stop the bleeding before moving on to the others.   
“Merci beaucoup, Tu es trop gentil. ” He gladly took it, he sat down slowly extending his leg outward. It was best his leg was elevated. I crossed over to the other chair to retrieve the foot stool, bringing it over and helped the gentleman lift and rest his leg. Father now offered Major Tallmadge a glass of wine, which he accepted. I had now noticed that the Marquis was staring at me confounded, he eyes studied my face for any familiarity. I rose from the floor and started to leave his side but before I could, he reached and took my hand. “Votre visage est si familier. Êtes-vous sour que nous ne avons jamais rencontré?” I froze for a moment, afraid of being discovered. If father ever found out that I had snuck away to Brandywine and was there during the battle tending the wounded, he would be furious. I had to say something or I would give myself away.  
“Malheureusement, je ne ai jamais été en France. Le plus proche que je ai jamais été à Paris était mon tuteur, Monsieur Mercier. ” I spoke with as much charm as I could drawing the Marquis away from any recognition of me he may have had. The Marquis laughed and his eyes brightened at the humor of my tone. I looked up and saw everyone staring at us. My sister were conversing with each other beside the stairs. Father, Tallmadge, and Brewster were encircled in front of the fireplace. Major Tallmadge took a deep drink of his wine finishing it. There was a long hush around the room. Father spoke up, breaking the awkward silence.   
“Anne, my dear, why don’t you play for us something while we wait.” He said to my sister. She happily obliged nearly running over to the harpsichord in the parlor corner. She pulled out her sheet music and began to gracefully play Bach’s French Overture, no doubt for our new guest. We all turned to hear her play. She was much more skilled on the harpsichord than Bess and me. Singing came naturally to me, but poor Bess sounded like a dying cat, although Bess did find her gift in dancing. I was still standing beside the Marquis when Major Tallmadge left the gentlemen’s circle and came to stand opposite me.   
“I see Miss Allen is nursing you back to health, Lafayette.”I slowly rose as Tallmadge spoke. I looked at him and then back to the Marquis then back up at him. The Marquis looked quizzically at him and then motioned to me. Bess was still playing in the background. Father and Brewster were attempting to engage in conversation, it was apparently failing as Brewster kept looking over in our general direction.   
“Yes, you are a very gracious hostess Mademoiselle Allen, and I do believe a miracle worker.” He spoke his compliments in his heavily accented English. “The pain is nearly gone.” He groaned as he shifted in the seat. “Well, almost.” He laughed out a sigh. I thanked his compliment with a smile. Tallmadge appeared tense as his back straightened.   
“Miss Allen is quite the skilled nurse, Monsieur. She has even treated one of my men after he was shot and wounded. ” He made the fact know a little too loudly for my comfort. A surge of anger and fear went through me. Had he spoken any louder my father would have heard him. I specifically told him that I wanted this to be a secret. I did not look away from him, my eyes were daggers. Had he forgotten or was he drunk? I was uncertain about his memory. All I knew was that I was livid.   
“Really?” The Marquis was surprised, he must now realize that it was me at Brandywine and that I had lied to him. I was not going to discuss it, especially not with Father standing feet away. I had to silence Tallmadge before he unknowingly revealed my secret.   
“Will you excuse us, Monsieur?” I slid my arm under Tallmadge’s and led him away. I practically dragged him away before the Marquis could answer. Once we were across the room and far enough away to where no one could hear I questioned him. “What are you doing?” I asked in a hushed fury. He seemed confused so I enlightened him. I sighed heavily then explained. “I told you that my father doesn’t know about my work at the camp, or have you forgotten?” His eyes widened as he remembered. I huffed crossing my arms in front of me. “Do you have any idea about my father would do if he found out?” I asked him, I didn’t know the answer to that question myself really.   
Father had strong objections to me going around soldiers unaccompanied, and he flat out refused to allow me to go the Brandywine saying it was too dangerous and that I could be killed. He wasn’t wrong, but that didn’t stop me from going. He was veteran of the Seven Years’ War, he knew the dangerous of battle. Tallmadge by his expressions appeared to realize what he had risked.   
“You were there at Brandywine.” He spoke knowingly. I nodded again licking my lips because they and my throat were dry. “The Marquis recognized you, didn’t he?” he asked. I nodded.   
“For a moment yes, but he couldn’t place me there. Until now. And as you should well remember my father doesn’t know about me going to the camp, or Brandywine, and tending the wounded. ” I growled glaring up at him again. His head went back and smiled when he realized. I turned to look over and saw my father and Brewster now conversing with the Marquis. I looked up to see Tallmadge looking down at me his eyes were warm and the corner of his mouth crooked in a smile. I was confused.   
“What?” I asked him shifting my weight form one leg to the other my arms still crossed in front of me. I was still cross with him for being so reckless. He leaned slightly forward closer to me. My heartbeat grew faster and my palms began to sweat.  
“I thought he was flirting with you.” His words were plain but he was apparently relieved. I was still angry with him, even more so now that he was trying to distract me from the reason why I pulled him aside.   
“Don’t change the subject.” I said bluntly. My temper calmed down a bit as I let out my frustration. Suddenly it came to me, all this time Tallmadge had been jealous of Lafayette. I was taken aback my mouth dropped and my eyes grew wide. “Wait, you were jealous?” I didn’t understand why he could possibly feel that way. All I could do was smile, biting my lip. He did not appreciate that he grew flushed and embarrassed. Afraid that I had hurt him I took a step closer and touching his forearm. “You of all men have no reason to be jealous.” I said in a calm, low whisper. Tallmadge’s eyes widened and his face became flushed either from the wine or my words, I hoped it was the latter. His head cocked to one side as if he was thinking to himself. Then he looked down back at me. I dared to look up into his eyes, then my heart seemed to stop and the room stood still. We gazed into each other’s eyes for what seemed ages before being interrupted by my father.  
“Dinner is ready, at last.” I heard him say from the other side of the room. Bess immediately stopped playing, and the diners stirred towards the dining room, everyone but us. I looked away from his eyes and towards the dining room. We stood there for a moment before I realized everyone was waiting for us. Brewster had a cheeky grin on his face, as did my sisters.   
“Shall we?” I asked Tallmadge motioning towards the others.   
“Oh, uh, yes.” He smiled awkwardly offering me his arm, it was a charming awkwardness. As we crossed the foyer and into the dining room everyone was finding their seats. The table was now able to be seated fully with the seven of us. The three of us ladies sat on one side of the table, while the three gentlemen took the seats opposite, and father took his place at the head of the table once again. Major Tallmadge had been regretfully seated across from my sister Anne while the Marquis sat in front of me.   
Tildy laid out the large serving bowl of dark broth of roasted beef, potatoes, carrots, and other vegetables. She curtsied and left to bring the bread loaves. Rachel poured the wine as she made her way around the table. Rachel brought out the bread and Father served himself then began passing the bowl around clockwise to the Marquis as so on around the table. Tildy and Rachel retired to the kitchen. Once we all had food on our plates Father began the toast welcoming our new guest. We all raised our glass and drank.   
“Tell me, Monsieur, if you do not mind me asking. Why have you come to join the cause?” Father inquired of the gentleman. The Marquis was mid sip when Father spoke. He laid down his bread and wiped his mouth.   
“Yes, of course. Well, I was dining with the Duke of Gloucester, King George’s brother, one night and he was going on and on about these insolent rebels in the American colonies, mocking them for their beliefs in liberty, equality, and fighting against an unjust tyranny. So naturally, I wanted to join them. I wanted to learn from them. That is why I am here.” He smiled taking a sip of wine.   
“Well, we are more than happy to have you. Now hopefully the rest of France will follow.” I informally spoke with a smile. The Marquis and Major Tallmadge nodded in agreement. I glanced over side-eyed at Tallmadge and he back at me.  
“Miss Allen, your father was just telling me that you are a reader of philosophy?” The Marquis was speaking to me. I did not hear him at first, actually I wasn’t paying attention to him. I heard him when he asked again and quickly looked away from Tallmadge.  
“Yes, Monsieur.” I replied. My sisters giggled at my distraction. I reached over and pinched Bess on the arm just below the table out of view. She jumped and held back a yelp of pain. Anne laughed at her so Bess pinched her under the table too, resulting in the same reaction from Anne. An innocent smiled crept on my mischievous face.   
“What are your thoughts on Rousseau? If I may ask.” I did not know if he was being patronizing or not so I answered him truthfully.   
“I agree with him, to an extent.” I said taking a drink of wine. The Marquis seemed intrigued by my answer. The others couldn’t have been more uninterested they kept eating, not paying attention. That is except Major Tallmadge I could see him form the corner of my eye watching our conversation.  
“What do you mean?” Lafayette asked.   
“The general will of the people must be adhered to, and also the fact that liberty is the natural state of all beings.” I said. The Marquis nodded in agreement as I spoke.   
“Well, what is it that you don’t agree with?” He inquired. I was more than happy to oblige him. I took another drink of wine to bring out my courage and confidence.   
“His views on women are particularly troubling to me.” I said putting down my glass. I paused to collect my thoughts before I continued. “What I find disturbing in his writing Monsieur, is that he finds women are, by Nature, made to be passive and weak, and thus we must submit to the will of our fathers, brothers, and husbands. Rousseau says that women are made to be mothers and wives nothing more, anything more than that we are shrews. Women must be utterly dependent on their fathers and husbands, and resign ourselves to the subservient position. I tell you now if Monsieur Rousseau knew half of the women I know, he would not be so dismissive of the fairer sex.” I did not stop there. I could not stop. “Are women and men by Nature equal? I say yes. I have seen women toil in the fields with babes on their backs alongside their husbands. I’ve seen young ladies gather together to have discussions on politics and philosophy. To say that women are inferior is a gross thought. I firmly support the belief that all men, and women, are by God created equal.” I paused to catch my breath and to calm myself. “I admit to you Monsieur that my views are quite radical and controversial. But I have them nonetheless and I intend to express them whenever the occasion calls for it regardless of popular convention.” When I finished I thought I had made the Marquis regret asking me my opinions. However he was listening intently throughout my speech, his facial expression only lightened and I went on. I glanced around the table to see everyone gawking at me as if I had three heads. Well, he asked? I thought to myself. I took a deep drink of my wine and went back to eating. No one said a word for a few moments. The Marquis appeared to be shocked and unable to speak.   
“You’re quite right, Mademoiselle. Such ideas are indeed controversial.” The Marquis spoke at last. I waited to for him to say something further, but it never came.   
“You are most certainly assured of your convictions, though many would disagree with your opinions. I wish that the world was as progressively minded as you are, my dear. There are many evils in this world that would be eliminated by such thinking, but I’m afraid these things must be left to time.” Father spoke and I felt my heart drop. Well that was a waste, I thought as I stirred my broth with my bread. The rest of the dinner went by swiftly and with only a few breaks in silence allotting for discussions between the men about the victory in Saratoga. Apparently, General Arnold was the key contributor to the victory and yet the credit went to General Gates. Arnold was also wounded in the leg once again.   
“How unfortunate for Arnold, he’s one of the best commanders the Continentals have.” Said Father. The dinner ended in a blur, before I realized it we were ready to bid our guests farewell.  
“It had been a real pleasure, gentlemen.” My father spoke before he bowed to the group of men. Lafayette, Brewster, and Tallmadge were putting on their cloaks and hats as I came around the corner.   
“Oui, it was quite an evening,” said the Marquis. “Alas, I must bid you and your lovely daughters a pleasant evening.” The Marquis bowed to us before turning and exiting the front door.   
“Thanks for having us, again.” Brewster spoke in his awkward yet appreciated curtesy. Then, lastly, Major Tallmadge thanked my Father for the privilege coming to our home and dining with us again. His charm was at its highest level. He then left my father and came over to me. Standing only feet apart, he looked over my shoulder a moment and nodded to my sisters acknowledging them. I looked over my shoulder and glared at them getting them to quickly curtsy and leave giggling as they went. My Father also disappeared from view as the Major became my focus.   
“I hope that you are still not angry with me.” Tallmadge spoke in a low voice. I breathed out a laugh and smile. I had nearly forgotten about that. In all honesty, I couldn’t really stay angry with him. His eyes pierced my gaze once again, and I began to feel like melted candle wax.  
“No.” I said shaking my head. A coy grin grew across my lips. “Though, I would ask that you be more cautious in the future.” He smiled down at me, and I couldn’t help but look away. I looked down at my hands that I kept in front of me.  
“I found your words very profound, Miss Allen. Your father was quite right. The world would be a much better place if more people thought as you do.” His words lit a fire inside me that burned. He took my left hand in his and I watched as he brought it to his lips kissing it softly. My heart stopped and my eyes looked deeply into his. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move. I could hardly breathe. Oh how I wished it was my lips he was kissing.   
“Goodnight, Miss Allen.” Tallmadge bowed with my hand in his. When he released my hand, I did not want to let go, but I had to. There was something in his eyes that told me he was also reluctant to leave.  
“Goodnight, Major Tallmadge.” I curtsied in reply. Tallmadge slowly released his gentle grip of my hand as he turned to leave. Major Tallmadge had soon disappeared into the October night. I stood there in the foyer alone for what felt like an eternity. I did not know what to feel in that moment, happy that he wanted to stay or saddened knowing that he must go. My hand hung there mid-air, I could still feel his kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation: You are most welcome here, Monsieur de Marquis.   
>  Trans: Enchanted, my lady.   
>  Trans: It cannot be. It's not possible.  
>  Trans: Will you please have a seat?  
>  Trans: Thank you very much, you are too kind.  
>  Trans: You face is so familiar. Are you sure we’ve never met?  
>  Trans: Unfortunately, I’ve never been to France. The closest I've ever been to Paris was my tutor, Mr. Mercier.


	14. See Her Again

I did not have the heart to part from her without the aching desire to stay. But I had to go now or I should never leave. Taking her hand in mine, I brought it to my lips and kissed it tenderly.   
“Goodnight, Miss Allen.” It pained me say those words. Kate. I said in my head. I could see the glimpse of sadness in her eyes, but she understood I think.   
“Goodnight, Major Tallmadge.” She spoke softly and ended with a closed smile. It’s Benjamin. I wanted to say, but her father was sitting close by in the parlor and no doubt eavesdropping on the few words that passed between us. I replied with a short smile from the corner of my mouth before bowing once more and taking my leave.   
Once outside of the house I saw Lafayette and Caleb were mounted and waiting rather impatiently for me to come out. I inhaled deeply the murky Pennsylvania country air and exhaled the pit in my stomach. I looked back to see if Katherine was standing there, but the door had already been shut behind me.   
“Oi, lover-boy you comin’?” OI heard Caleb call from the darkness. I rolled my eyes at his comment before descending the porch steps. Mr. Allen’s footman brought around my grey stallion and I mounted. “So, what were you two talkin’ about?” Brewster asked looking over at me, a cheeky grin barely visible on his bearded face. I didn’t answer him. I kicked my horse forward, back to camp.   
As the three of us made our way back to camp. From the corner of my eye I could see them following behind me. They spurred their horses to move faster and caught up with me. “Ah come on Tall-boy, there aint’t a need to be so secretive about it.” Lafayette seemed rather confused about it all. Brewster was more than happy to inform him at my expense. “Oh, that’s right you don’t know nothing about it, Mr. de Markey.” Brewster leant over to Lafayette’s side. “You see, our beloved Major Tallmadge here has a sort of, affection, for the eldest Miss Allen.” Brewster infernal teasing has been nothing but a pain in my arse since the moment he figured it out. The Marquis’ only response was an expression of comprehension, he then grimaced.   
“What?” I asked him irritated by his reaction. He stayed quiet, whatever it was he took no pleasure in say it to my face. I pulled my mount around and halted in front of them forcing them to stop as well. “What is it?” I asked him again this time more sternly.   
“Il est vrai que la jeune femme est belle.” He paused to collect his thoughts. “Cependant, elle parle trop pour son propre bien. I was able to understand what the Marquis was saying, with what French I knew. It is true that Katherine expresses her opinions passionately and without hesitation. She is unorthodox in many ways that is certain. Most people would say that a well brought up young woman should not be so vocal about their thoughts.  
“Perhaps you felt attacked by what she was saying? I, however, am not threatened by the opinions of a well-educated woman.” Once the Marquis grasped my meaning I turned my horse back on the path back to camp. It’s not that I dislike the gentleman, he has admirable qualities. General Washington certainly thinks so. Lafayette is a good military commander and his is a loyal volunteer to our cause, of that there is no doubt. He just has this arrogant air about him that rubs me the wrong way.   
When we reached the fork in the road that led to the main headquarters, Brewster and I parted ways with the Marquis. He went on his way back to his quarters at the Whitemarsh Estate. We rode into camp silently. The men were huddled within their tents or around the fire pits they built. We dismounted once we reached our lodgings.   
“You know he really wasn’t wrong. Th’ lass does talk a lot. ” Brewster spoke as he tied his horse’s reigns to the post. I couldn’t really disagree with him. I dismounted and led my mount to the posts. Miss Allen, Katherine is not an incongruity in the realm of upper class. There are many well to do young ladies with the same opportunity to a great education. She has just gone beyond the standard, and sought out a classical education for herself. That is something to admire, not scorn. She is the perfect embodiment of the argument Nathan and I made back at school. There is a captivating passion about her that is unadulterated and constant. A fire burns within her that has attracted me with its brilliance.   
“You know what they say Benny boy. It is an arduous task to tame a shrew.” His words provoked me. My brow furled and my eyes looked back at him in irritation. I had had enough of his infernal teasing which he has done nothing but since the first day we had dinner at the Allen house.   
“She, is not a shrew, and you should not insult her.” I said angered by his insult towards Katherine. I left him outside as I pushed inside my tent. He followed closely behind.  
“Oh relax Ben, I was just screwin’ with ya. She quite the fiery one, with one hell of swing. Plus, she’s quite easy on the eyes. If I know anything at all I know this much,” He paused, and I turned looking back at him waiting for him to continue, “I know saw the way you to look at each other and that tells me she feels the same way about you my friend.” His cheeky smile and somewhat of an apology smoothed down the ruffled feathers. I replied with a smirk. Brewster yawned loudly. ”Well, I’m going to bed before there’s any more excitement. See ya in the morning Tall-boy.”   
“Goodnight, Caleb.” I said as he left the tent. I pulled of my jacket and hooked it on the back of my desk chair. Unfastening my scabbard belt, I hanged it on the same chair. I partially unbuttoned my waistcoat and rolled up my shirt sleeves before laying down in my cot. The past few days have been an exhausting series of patrols along the Schuylkill River. I huffed a sigh as I sat up again. I bent over resting one arm on my knee and with the other I rubbed the back of my stiff neck. The frustration within me had been building for weeks. There has been no word from Abe for over a month. I wanted to know what the hell was happening in Setauket. I’m the bloody head of intelligence I should know what’s going on. I had to stop myself from getting even my anxious. Tonight’s meal was an escape from all of that.   
I laid back down in an effort to get some sleep. When I closed my eyes again, I thought back to the moment Katherine came down the stairs. She has enraptured me, not just with her beauty and charm, but with her mind and soul. It has been said that too much passion creates wildness. It was this wildness that I found so intriguing. The way she had spoken so passionately tonight about her opinions made me admire her even more than I had before.   
I could see her as clearly as if she were standing in front of me: her soft dark brown curls, the softness of her skin, the curve of her face, the length of her eyelashes, the shape of her lips, the blushing of her cheeks. I could see her dark chestnut eyes shimmer like jewels against the candle light. I could smell the perfume that lingered in the air as I kissed her hand. How can one know so much about a person without hardly saying a word? How can one feel this way about someone, but barely know them for more than a week?   
Before I knew it I was being awoken by a commotion coming from outside of my tent. Suddenly an unrecognized corporal came into the tent.  
“Major Tallmadge, Sir.” He said saluting. He couldn’t be no older than eighteen.   
“At ease Corporal. What’s going on?” I said as I sat up. Still drowsy, I had no idea what the time was or how long I had been asleep.   
“Orders from General Washington, the men are to march to Germantown. The British are forming for an attack.” As he spoke I stood up quickly reaching for my jacket sliding it back on. I hastily buttoning my waistcoat.   
“Thank you Corporal.” I acknowledged before he left me. I was not estranged to the battlefield, and I was fully aware of the dangers that the men and I were facing. There was always the risk of injury or death. Before I had always went head on into the fray, for the glory of victory. There was something different now. A sort of pit into my chest, and a sudden sense of regret. What if I died tomorrow? I would never see her again. I could never tell her how I felt about her. What do I feel? Was this what love felt like? It is all so very strange. I had never experienced this before. There were many young ladies in New Haven, but I had been so focused on my studies that I never really thought about them. I cared for Katherine in a way that I hadn’t fully understood yet. I knew I had to see her again. Suddenly, I thought of a way. I quickly grabbed my quill, ink, and paper, and I began to write.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trans: It is true that the young lady is comely. However, she speaks too much for her own good.


	15. Germantown

Once I finished writing I dusted the wet ink with pounce, and let it quickly dry before folding and sealing it. I blew out the candle sitting on the table beside my cot before turning and pushing my way out of my tent. There was a rush of men at arms and dragoons mounting preparing for the march ahead and battle to come. A sergeant came up to me and told me that the men should be ready to move within half an hour handing me my orders from Washington. I read them. I was to muster my men and join with General Greene’s forces on Limekiln Road. I had to go now in order to be back in time.   
“Hey, where are you off to in such a hurry?” I heard Brewster say as he came up beside me. Clasping my helmet, I untied and mounted my horse.  
“There’s no time to explain. I’ll be back before we move out.” I said before kicking my horse on. I hastily rode back towards the Allen house.   
As I rode up there were several light coming from inside. Someone was awake. There was no one out to meet me so I just dismounted a tied the reigns the closets banister. I was rather nervous about all of this, and there was a tightening in my chest that made me feel worse. Hastening up the stairs, I stopped just in front of the door. I had no idea of what I was going to say. I intuitively knocked several times on the door. It took several moments for someone to answer the door, and I was relieved to see the very person I was hoping to speak to.  
“Major Tallmadge, why are you here at this hour? What’s happened?” The gruff gentleman sound more concerned than angry at my calling on him so late. He was in his night robe and slippers carrying a brass candle holder. I decided to answer the latter.   
“Well, Sir, my men and I have been called out to march to Germantown. It appears that the enemy is preparing for an attack.” My words appeared to worry him. Mr. Allen motioned for me to coming inside. He closed the door behind me.  
“Are my family in danger?” There was a deep concern in his voice. He looked away from me and appeared to look up towards the next floor where his daughters slept.   
“No, I do not believe so. They have moved as far into the country as they are willing to.” I answered earnestly. Mr. Allen nodded in reply. The British hardly moved ten miles out of the vicinity of the city. I was searching for a way to change the subject, but the two of us just stood there in silence.   
“So, why are you here, Major Tallmadge?” said Mr. Allen. I breathed a sigh of relief that it was he that broke the long and awkward silence. I scrambled for a coherent reply.  
“Oh, yes um, I’ve . . . come to . . .” How do I say this without sounding like an imbecile? “. . . ask your permission to write to your daughter.” With the last line I waited uncomfortable for his response.  
“Which one?” He spoke plainly. I was confused. Was he serious? I stood there a moment awkwardly looking about the room as if I were in the wrong house. Mr. Allen then began to chuckle lightly. “I’m merely pulling your leg Major. I know that you have eyes for my Katherine ever since the moment you two met.” He turned away placing the candle on a nearby table. I was a little embarrassed. Had I been that obvious that not only Brewster, but that Mr. Allen knew as well? I stood there shifting my weight nervously from one foot to the other. The older gentleman groaned as he went and took a seat in the parlor. “So, pray tell me what is it about my Kate that has garnered such an urgent request?” I tried to find the words to express to him my sincerity.   
“Sir, you know as well as I that Katherine is an exceptional beauty and possesses an admirable manner of compassion and grace.” I stopped in order to choose the following words ever so carefully, in the hopes to win his approval. ”But, it is not just for that that I have come here to seek your approval. Katherine is of a mind that I consider equal to mine, it is her mind and her spirit that I admire the most, not just simply her beauty.” Allen sat there silently staring at me and so I continued. “And though we have only spoken on several short occasions, I find myself compelled to expand my acquaintance with her. The urgency is the result of being a solider at war. There is no sense certainty, and I do not know where the next engagement will take me or even if I should survive this coming one. But, I know this much, Sir. Whatever time I may have left, I want to spend it having a small glimmer of hope that Katherine cares for me as I do her.”  
When I finished I exhaled in relief, the knot in my stomach had disappeared. But a thought lingered in me. Had I allowed my words to get away from me? I now noticed that Mr. Allen’s eyes had softened. He let out a long loud sigh and smiled warmly. His eyes searched for a thought. When he found it he looked back at me.  
“Well Major, I cannot speak for my daughter.” He groaned as he rose from his comfortable seat and crossed to stand eye to eye with me. Suddenly, he placed a firm hand on my shoulder and continued. “I can only speak of what I have witnessed, and since the moment you came to this house, she has smiled more.” The thought of her warm smile was a comforting thought. I even began to grin at the image. He chuckled wagging his right index finger while his left hand fell from its grip of my shoulder. He then walked over to the parlor fireplace and grabbed the pipe that lay on the mantle. He began stuffing it with tobacco. “I know that look, and I’ve seen the way she looks at you.” He said as he struck a match and lit his pipe. After a few puffs his manner turned more serious. “Yet I must warn you Major, though my daughter shows a great inner strength, she has a tender heart. When she loves she loves strongly and deeply, and subsequently Kate can grieve just as intensely.” He stopped for a moment. He cleared his throat and turned back, pointing his pipe at me. “I would not see my daughter in such pain, should you die in battle.” I started to protest but I had no counter argument. But then just as I thought he was rejecting my proposal he continued. “But then again, nor would I want be the one who prevents her from finding happiness. That being said, I give you my permission to write to Kate.” My heart livened up when he said those words.   
“Thank you, Sir.” I said with a grateful smile plastered onto my face. I glanced over at the clock which read half past eleven o’clock. The affair had taken a lot longer than I had anticipated. I had to leave soon so I could join my men for the march. Mr. Allen began to notice my anxiety. I then remembered the now slightly crumpled note in my hand.   
“Sir, would you please see that Miss All-, that Katherine, receives this message.” I said handing him the letter in my hand. He nodded as he walked over and took it from my hand.   
“Of course.” He said softly. “Just remember what I told you.” We exchanged a small bow bidding each other farewell. I turned on my heel and made way out the door and down the porch steps to my waiting mount. That went rather well, I thought. I hastily strapped on my helmet, quickly got on my horse, and rode back to camp. When I reached camp Caleb and the other dragoons were mounted and ready to march. I rode down the lines to make sure all the men were prepared for the road ahead. I quickly turned back and made way back to the front. I halted beside Caleb.   
“Ready at last Tall-boy?” I heard him say, replying with a nod. My thoughts now turned to upcoming battle.  
“Let’s move out!” I called out the order to march and we began the sixteen mile route to Germantown.   
Once we were on route we could hardly see anything ahead of us in the pitch black. The moonlight served as our only torch as it streamed through the bare branches. Every now and then a horse would whinny while another would snort as they walked on. The footsteps of the militiamen behind us crunched and rustled the dead and dying leaves that had fallen on the road. The night had turned to an autumn chill, I felt a great deal of sympathy for the men who lack proper clothing or shoes. Caleb trotted up beside me and then preceded to lean over in his saddle.  
“So you went to bid your sweetheart farewell, huh Benny boy?” A cheeky grin splayed on his face. I rolled my eyes and smirked a bit.   
“No, that’s not what happened?” I said shaking my head, he seemed disappointed.   
“Well, then what was it then?” Brewster sounded rather impatient so I just told him a piece of the truth.  
“I went to speak to Mr. Allen.” I told him flat out. Brewster’s face was aghast in shock.  
“You ain’t askin’ to marry her already, are you?” He exclaimed rather loudly. Brewster sounded bit worried that our days as a duo of bachelor’s might be over. I was rather amused by his exaggerated concern.   
“No, I’m not. I just asked his permission to write to her, that is all.” I said straight to his face.  
“Well, let me know when you decide to propose and I’ll buy the drinks.” He chuckled. I rolled my eyes as I nudged my horse onward. He seemed to let it go, for now. I could hardly see a thing in front of me in the darkness. We came to a junction that merged onto Limekiln Road but there was no sign of General Greene’s column. There were a number hoof and boot tracks in the dirt, a sizeable force of men. We had just missed them, so I ordered that we press on to catch up. The march was moving at a slower pace than I had anticipated. Eight hours have passed and we had only progressed thirteen miles. We still three miles away from Germantown and we still had not caught up to General Greene’s forces. After another hour of riding we finally came upon a group of Patriot scouts. They rode up to meet us.  
“Major Tallmadge, Sir.” Said one captain as he saluted. “General Greene is expecting you.”   
“Lead the way, Captain.” I said gesturing them to take us to join the others. Greene’s men were only a mile ahead of us. As we came open Greene’s men, Caleb and I rode ahead to meet with the Major General. His men were in no better shape than mine, it was a small scale example of the condition of the entire army. The sun had just began to rise revealing a vast fog. In the distance we could hear the echo of the artillery guns. The battle had already begun and we were nearly two miles away from the front. As we rode up I could see Greene convening with his officers. Caleb and I dismounted and joined them. The group was huddled around a map of the local area, Green being in the center, General Stephen on his right and General McDougall on his left. There was a familiar face in the group of officers, General Charles Scott. He made his presence known by staring at me from across the table. I did my best to ignore him in order to avoid and awkward exchange. The last we saw each other I replaced him as head of intelligence.   
“Ah, Major Tallmadge just in time. Are your men ready for the fight?” Greene looked over at me. As ready as we’ll ever be, I thought.   
“Yes, Sir.” I replied as sincerely as I could.   
“Good. Your brigade will join mine and engage the enemy at Luken’s Mill” He said pointing to the location on the map. Our lines and the enemy’s were carefully laid out. I watched as General Stephens took a deep drink from a flask to steady his nerves. Another series of cannon fire sounded in the distance. Several of us looked up and of in the direction of the cannon fire while General Greene remained focused. “McDougall you will proceed from the north and Stephen will cover any enemy retreat to the South. We shall rendezvous at Market Square. We will drive the rats back to their temporary nest. Prepare to march.” Greene called out his last orders and we all rushed to obey. In the urgency, Scott and I crossed paths once again.  
“Tallmadge.” He said somberly acknowledging me.   
“General.” I said bowing in reply. He then side stepped me. I heard Caleb come up from behind me.  
“Well, that wasn’t awkward at all.” He said chuckling afterward. I found the humor in it all, smiling as I turned back to give my men their orders that Greene had given me. Once that was done we mounted up once again for the final march to Germantown.   
Our column at last caught up to the other forces at Luken’s Mill. Greene had ordered that we form our lines and engage. We at last came upon the field of battle. I decided to lead the first wave while Caleb waited to bring the second forward as reinforcements. Drawing my saber, I rallied my men forward. We could hardly see them, but we knew they were there. Their redcoats were easy to spot even through the fog. The unison of their march has intimidated our militia before. I wanted to be sure they would not do so again. Once our lines were close enough, I ordered them to halt. I trotted up behind them and stopped.   
“Make ready!” They obeyed. “Take aim!” They readied their muskets. I inhaled deeply. “Fire!” The loud continuous booms of gunfire erupted. A mist of blood arose as several redcoats fell to the ground dead. I could hear the same three commands from the enemy on the other side. Several of my own men fell dead while I could hear the moaned of the injured. I order my men to fire another volley. A dozen others fell dead or injured. They soon called out for a retreat, and I ordered a pursuing charge to drive them out. I slew several men from horseback, mercilessly slashing at them with my saber and shooting another in the head with my pistol. I looked back at the gore of the dozens of bodies, both American and British that lay littered, dead on the field.   
The thickness of the fog, cannon, and gun smoke left us all blind to what was going on around us. In the confusion, chaos erupted as we pursued the enemy. I dismounted to join in the fight. My men fired volley after volley into the fog toward the direction of the enemy. Caleb and the rest of the men under my command had joined the first wave in pursuit. Unexpectedly, we started taking heavy fire, too heavy to sustain. I ordered the sounding a swift retreat in order to gather to rendezvous with General Greene. The men began falling back, but I could no longer see Caleb. I had lost sight of him in the chaos of the fray. I scanned the battlefield for any sign of him.   
Suddenly, I heard the shouts of an ongoing melee. I looked over to see Caleb going hand to hand with a group of three redcoats. He was defending himself with only a tomahawk and pistol. A burst of rage gave me the vitality I need to run over and join in the fight. Grabbing a musket that lay on the ground I used it to stay of the swing of a saber at Caleb’s neck as he lay flat on the ground. I used the blunt of the musket smash at the soldiers face mocking him unconscious. Caleb scrambled to take down another soldier leaving him dead. The remaining soldier had begun to flee, but Caleb not one leave a strangler alive let his tomahawk fly striking the man in the back with a gruesome smack.   
“Thanks.” He said gasping hunched over in relief trying to catch his breath. He finally rose up to meet me eye to eye.   
“What are friends for?” I said smirking at him patting him on the soldier.   
“Let’s get the hell outta here.” Caleb said as we heard the trumpets calling for the British to pursue us. Their artillery had begun to fire once again upon us as we made our retreat. Brewster and I hastily recovered our mounts and rejoined our men on the way to the rallying point. When we reached General Greene he looked gravely at us.   
“What news from General McDougall?” I asked him concernedly. He shook his head solemnly.  
“Forced to retreat also. They came under attack from Queen’s Rangers.” He spoke so somberly, but two words rang out to me louder than the others. Queen’s Rangers. Rogers, I thought. The rage rose inside me and my eyes turned to daggers. “The 9th Virginia has launched an attack on the line as planned.” He reassured us confidently. “Where the hell is Stephen!” he exclaimed in anger.  
“Do you order that we join them, Sir?” I asked anxiously. My men are exhausted from the failed wave at the mill. Before Green could answer a courier arrived from the front line. He stopped to salute before giving the General his message.  
“Sir, the 9th has been overrun and has surrendered.” Greene eyes revealed his shock and defeat.   
“We are all that’s left.” He said softly and solemnly. “We must retreat.” He steered his horse to give his lower officers the order of retreat. Caleb and I exchanged a look that was a mixture of astonishment and dread. We hurried to our men rallying them to retreat. It was a certainty that in their victory the British would attempt to put an end to our cause. Uncertainty lied ahead of us and death pursued. I glanced back at the growing number of redcoats that had now begun their chase and we were on the run.


	16. The Letter

After Tildy had shut the door, I stood there for a moment thoroughly evaluating what had just happened. My breathing was heavy and my heart was racing. Blood had flushed my cheeks so hot that I felt feverish. This sudden rush alarmed me. It was practically excruciating for him to leave this time, but I understood it would have been impossible. The aching feeling within my chest began to subside. Turning to go upstairs, I began to recollect on everything that has happened this week. It has forced me to question how I think, which is absolutely frustrating but I it was also exciting.   
As I trudged up the stairway I kept thinking about how I have always read that logic is superior and that passions are irrational and cloud reasonable judgement. Now, I was not so sure. Perhaps passion and logic can coexist. There must be reason within all of this, and I just had to find it. Everything has changed. I needed to learn to think not only with my mind, but with my heart as well. A sense of elation swept over me as I came up to my chamber door and I smiled so widely that my cheeks began to hurt. As I slowly turned the knob to my door I could hear giggling coming from behind it. When I pushed the door open I could see my sisters sitting on my bed in their shifts and braids waiting for me. The smile on my face feel as I sighed and rolled my eyes shutting the door behind me.   
“What are you two doing in here? You should be in bed.” I said kicking off my heels as I struggled to undo the laces of my gown. Rachel must have been busy in the kitchen. I was exhausted from the long day I had had and I wanted to relax for a moment before bed. Once again my sisters were going out of their way to annoy me. They suddenly jump up and rushed over surrounding me like a flock of pigeons.  
“We want to know everything!” The seventeen and fifteen year old girls kept asking a rash of jumbled questions that I couldn’t make out. Their blonde curls bounced as they rushed to me. It wasn’t their fault they were acting so foolish, they were young. I couldn’t honestly hold it against them. “Come on Kate tell us! What did he say?” Was all that I could make out. Anne and Bess bombarded me with questions as they tugged and pulled “helping” me undress. I managed to shoo them off of me. They went over and sat down side by side on my bed. Their impatient curiosity was rather amusing. I decided to oblige them if that meant I got some peace.   
“We didn’t say much at all, really.” I said as I walked over to my vanity and took off my pearls, placing them back inside my jewelry case. I looked back at the two of them and smiled coyly. “We didn’t have to.” Their eyes went wide with astonishment and I started giggling at them as I slid out of my gown. Once I was in my shift I went back over to my vanity and I began to let my hair down.   
“Well, what did happen? We know he said something to you we were listening upstairs.” Bess said impatiently. Anne smacked her arm hard after Bess revealed that they were eavesdropping. I had forgotten what I had said. I tried to remember but I don’t think I said anything. Section by section of brown curls fell onto my shoulders and down my back as I took out pins. I bent over and untied my stockings pulling them off. I did remember Major Tallmadge’s eloquent compliments. Perhaps that is why I had been speechless. I twiddled with the laces of my stay for a moment trying to loosen them. Taking a deep breath once my stay was off I turned back to them, a flushed smile on my face.   
“Well, he told me thought what I said at supper was profound and that the world would be a better place if more people thought as I do.” I said as I crossed over to my bed where they were sitting.  
“No, no we heard all that! What did two say in the parlor before dinner?” Bess exclaimed. I laughed as I recalled the moment. My eyes and smile were opened brightly in delight. I bit my lip instinctively.   
“He, Major Tallmadge, thought that the Marquis was trying flirt with me while I was talking with him and helping him ease the pain in his leg. I of course told him that was utterly ridiculous and the he of all men had no reason to be jealous.” I smiled coyly to myself. The girls saw this and began to giggle.   
“Dear Lord, I never thought I would see the day.” Anne, the more sensible of the two, nudged Bess and nodded in my direction. “Our sister is in love.” Bess gawked at me with her mouth wide open and her eyes in astonishment. Anne sat there with a gloating smirk on her face.   
“Yes, I dare say I am.” I acknowledged softly. Up until that moment I had not admitted to myself that I was in love with Major Tallmadge. It had stunned me just as much as it surprised them. They sat there aghast. “Oh, come on! Is it that hard to believe?” I exclaimed at them.   
“Well, he is rare physical specimen.” Anne teased haughtily. I reached back grabbing my pillow and slung it at her. She screamed as it smacked her in the face. Bess was laughing so hard she nearly fell off of the bed. Not pleased by Bess’ mocking Anne hit her with the same pillow. I just laughed at them both. I lifted my legs onto the bed crossing them as I sat there.  
“I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy.” I admitted to them. I just started laughing to myself about it all. They weren’t wrong.  
“What does it feel like?” Bess asked as she sat upright in her curious innocence. All she knew of romance was in the stories I read to them when they were little. Stories of medieval chivalry, of knights rescuing their ladies fair and of true love, all of that fairy tale nonsense I used to abhor. This was different, much less simple and more real.   
“It’s difficult to explain. It’s all so strange and confusing, yet it’s so wonderful.” I said astonished as I sat down on my bed. The three of us exchanged a warm silent smile. “You’ll find out about it, when you’re older. Now go on and get to bed it’s late.” I said ordering them out. They slowly but collectively gathered themselves and went back to their room, pouting as they left. I stood and pulled back my covers and fluffed my pillows. Yawning, as I crossed over to blow out the candles around the room. Leaving the one beside my bed lit until I crawled beneath my sheets. I leaned over and blew it out last leaving the room utterly in the dark. I laid my head down on the soft, cool down pillows and slowly drifted to sleep.   
The rooster’s crow awoke me at dawn, but I refused to move until Rachel came in a moment later to wake me and help me dress for breakfast. Once again I slept through the whole night, which was something I didn’t normal do. I would usual awake midnight, read awhile then to back to sleep. I had been so tired that my body forced me to remain asleep. Not that I complained. I groaned and stretched as I got out of bed and began the cycle of dressing. I slipped into the light blue round gown that Rachel pulled out of the chest at the foot of my bed. I quickly pulled my hair up and pinned it up.   
When I got down to breakfast, Father as taking his coffee. Anne and Bess shortly followed behind me. While we ate our routine bowls of porridge, Father seemed rather uncomfortable as he sat there as if there was something on his mind. When we finished Anne and Bess left to go practice their lessons on the harpsichord. Just I stood and was about to leave to catch up on my reading. Father stopped me.   
“Kate my dear, I have something for you.” He said as he slowly stood, reaching into his coat pulling out a small folded piece of parchment. I was surprised. I didn’t receive letters that often, and those were only from Charlotte all the way from New York.   
“Who is it from?” I asked him curiously.   
“Major Tallmadge.” My heart skipped a beat. “He came by late last night and asked that I give this to you.” He said as he handed me the letter. I was astounded as I reached and took it from him. Father seemed disheartened by my enthusiasm. I looked down at it and back up at Father, but before I could turn and leave to read the note Father continued, “He and his men left last night and marched to Germantown to thwart off an attack by Howe.” His words were grave in their tone. There was a lump in my throat that made the news difficult to swallow. A pit of anxiety cut into my chest. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.   
“H-Has there been any news?” I managed to get my words out on the second try. My lips had gone dry. I tried to moisten them to no avail. Father shook his head no somberly.   
“He also asked for my consent to write to you.” His toned lightened slightly, but they provided little comfort for my worries. I could only nod in reply. The utter joy I felt last night and again this morning had now turned to dread at the thought of losing him. I had to know what he had written. But I could not do it here. I had to escape from the prying eyes of my sisters. I had to be alone.  
“Thank you, Father.” I said softly. Noticing how fearful I must have felt, Father tried his best to reassure me.  
“I’m sure that the Major is in no real danger.” The attempt was kind, but failed to alleviate my concerns. I only thinly smiled at him in reply before turning to leave the dining room. The library would not do because anyone could barge in at any moment. I had to find somewhere else to go and read Tallmadge’s letter. I pulled on my cloak that hung on the rack beside the door. There was a large oak tree on a hill just across from the American camp that would suffice. Before anyone could call after me I was already out the door and descending the porch.   
The air was fragrant with the scent of grass and dew. The sun beamed down creating rays of light through the mist in the air. The dead, autumn leaves rustled under my feet as I strolled across the property. I passed several of my father’s slaves as they went about their daily duties. They showed me their proper courtesies as I walked by. I acknowledge each of them with a “good morning” and smile as I strolled on clutching the letter hand. When I came upon the hill, I trudged up it breathing heavily when I reached the old oak. Suddenly, I was afraid of what I might find out. I leant against the tree in trepidation. What did he have to say in a letter that could not have been said last night when we were together? I did not know what was troubling me more, the fear of knowing or the dread of never finding out. Finally, I swallowed my anxieties and unfolded the letter breaking its seal.   
Dear Miss Allen,  
I write to you now in great haste for I have very little time to express to you the purpose behind this letter. By now your father has informed you of the ongoing situation in Germantown and the battle to come. I can only pray to God that we succeed for our glorious cause is in mortal danger if we should fail. I also pray that I might look upon you once more. I implore your forgiveness if I seem forward. In the short amount of time in which we have become aquatinted I have acquired a great respect and affection for you. It is not just your beauty, of which you greatly possess, that I find admirable, but your mind as well. I have also bared witness to your compassion and determination when you saved the life of one of my men. Your charm has won me. It is my sincerest wish that we continue to see each other as frequently as propriety will allow. I hope that we come to know one another better in the days to come. I only pray that I have not falsely presumed that you feel as I do. However, if you do not reciprocate the same affection towards me, I will henceforward only seek your friendship. In the event, however, that you do share such affections I humbly ask for a reply upon my return. In the event that I should not return from the glorious field of battle know that you were and are in my heart.  
Your Obedient Servant,  
Major Benjamin Tallmadge

I could hardly breathe. Tears welled up in my eyes as I finished reading. All I could do was blankly stare at the hastily written note. It was overwhelming that I had to sit down on the ground at the base of the oak. I was in awe. To think that I had been afraid that he did not feel the same way that I was alone in my affections. I had been wrong. He cares for me, I thought. My arms slumped in amazement. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. We had only just met, and yet I don’t think I could bare to lose him. My thoughts soon turned back to the battle in Germantown, which was undoubtedly going on at this very moment. If he dies I will never forgive him, I thought. Oh shut up, Kate yes you would. You would only blame yourself. I would never forgive myself. I silently began to pray, begging God to please let him live so that he could receive my reply. I would have rode to Germantown myself if I could, but the battle would have already been over by then. I stood up wiping away my tears and slipped the letter into my bodice.   
The walk home felt substantially shorter than the stroll leaving it. The morning air seemed more dense and constraining as the fog rolled in. He will not die, I told myself. Officer casualties are low and it is dishonorable to kill an officer in command. I tried to reassure myself. I needed to make myself believe that. It seemed to work. My shoes were wet form the dew and my cloak was wet from where I sat down on the ground. When I got inside it was just as I had left it. Anne and Bess were practicing and Father was now sitting in the parlor smoking his pipe listening to them. Father noticed me as I came in just as I pulled off my cloak. Before he could get up I was already retreating to the library. He reached and took my hand smoothly as I passed by.  
“Are you alright, my dear?” His concern was evident. I believe he knew everything that I now know. I nodded sharply hold back any tears. He gently squeezed my hand. I slipped out of his grasp and went into the library. I had to keep my mind on something else or else I thought I would go mad.   
My eyes scanned the shelves before finally taking out Voltaire’s Letter on the English. I took my normal seat on the window box and sat there for hours reading all twenty-four essays. I did not care much for the essays on religion. My favorite of all the letters was number eleven: On Inoculation. The method of inoculation has saved not only my life, but the lives of my family after multiple outbreaks of smallpox. I have on multiple occasions advocated to Doctor Winthrop the benefits of the procedure, only to be rejected.   
As the morning turned to afternoon, I had finished reading Voltaire and now turned my attentions toward something of fiction. Defoe’s Roxana was story that had not read in nearly three years. I began to read the tale of the Fortunate Mistress. Just as I was about to get to part where Roxana marries for the second time. Rachel entered the library and told me that lunch was ready. I reluctantly put the book down on the nearby desk, marking my place before closing it. I made my way into the dining room for lunch. Anne and Bess were waiting for me perhaps they were hoping that I would tell them what was in Major Tallmadge’s letter. The clock struck three o’clock as I crossed the foyer. There was mostly silence throughout the lunch of leftover soup save for the clinking of silverware and drinking glasses. Bess decided to break the silence herself.   
“Kate, are you alright? She seemed generally concerned at the change in my mood from last night.   
“Yes, I’m fine.” I said just as I took a sip of my drink. Bess wasn’t convinced.  
‘Well, you don’t look alright.” I could hear her say under her breath. She wasn’t wrong, not matter how much I read or tried to distract myself I could not get rid of the lingering dread I felt in my chest. In that moment, all of us simultaneously noticed the marching sound of drums coming up the road. My heart began to beat faster and my palms began to sweat. I looked at Father and he looked right back at me. No one dared to move.


	17. Reciprocated Affections

The silverware clinked as it dropped onto the table as I got up and rushed over to the window. When I pulled back the curtain I could not yet see the approaching army. I clutched at the curtains nervously as I waited for the first glimpse at their uniforms and whether they were blue or red. As the drums came closer they seemed to grow louder. My heart began to beat strongly and in rhythm with the drummers. I was blind to everything else going on around me.   
Just as I focused more on the road I could see a detachment of militia come out from behind the tree line. I breathed a sigh of relief as more and more militia and uniformed Continentals passed on down the road back to the neighboring estates where they were encamped. I turned back to Father who was uneasily sitting waiting for information and nodded sharply telling him it was the Patriots. He then bowed his head gravely.  
“They are in retreat.” He said somberly. My relief had now turned back to concern. I turned my attention back to the road waiting for any sign of Major Tallmadge’s dragoons. My hand reached up and touched my bodice where I hid his letter.   
“Does that mean they lost, Father?” I heard Bess inquire. I met Father’s gaze. Then he looked at her and nodded solemnly. My thoughts turned back the words Benjamin had written. I can only pray to God that we succeed for our glorious cause is in mortal danger if we should fail. It was increasingly growing more difficult to breathe. My stay seemed to tighten. I quickly abandoned my family in the dining room and went out to stand outside on the porch. I deeply inhaled the cool autumn air.   
Hours passed as thousands of men continuously marched past our home on their way back to their respective camps. There was still no sign of Major Tallmadge. I was growing increasingly more anxious as I paced up and down the length of the porch. Huffing in frustration, I went back inside. I closed my eyes and sighed. Upon opening my eyes I could see that my sisters had begun their needlework.   
‘Where’s Father?” I asked them. They looked up at once.  
“In his study.” Anne replied. I had nowhere to go for privacy. I quietly huffed in frustration. I stood there leaning against the door and considered my options. It was a clear day, no sign of bad weather. A walk would do me some good. I went upstairs and rummaged through my hat boxes. I grabbed the straw hat decorated with blue ribbon that matched my dress. Coming downstairs I turned and knocked on the door to the library.   
‘Yes?” I heard Father call from within. I hastily opened the door just enough to stick my head in the room.  
“Father, I am going for a walk down by creek.” I spoke quickly enough that he had little time to digest it.  
“Yes, yes of course. Just be home before supper.” He said not even looking up from behind his papers. I closed the door and put on my hat, tying the ribbon as I made my way out the door.   
The walk to the creek was a small attempt to clear my mind of the cluttering thoughts that irritatingly buzzed around inside. I observed everything around me. The colorful array of leaves that maintained their hold on the twigs and limbs of the trees. The early morning had now disappeared leaving the landscape visible. A flock birds flew in formation as they made their way South. The dead and dying leaves on the ground rustled underfoot as I strolled on toward the creek.  
I passed by the abandoned Continental encampment stopping to observe it for a moment. The tents were still pitched and thin plumes of smoke rose from the fires that had been put out the night before. My thoughts turned to those poor souls who would not return. I tried to shake away those melancholy and cynical contemplations. You can’t think like that, I told myself. I pressed on.   
Once I reached the creek, I began to feel myself slowly beginning to relax. As I approached, I could hear the sound of the water as splashed over the rocks. A large ancient boulder lay embedded in the earth next to the creek. Whenever I would go there I would use the stone as the perfect makeshift bench. I sat down and to clear my mind. The sun’s rays made streams of light through the forest canopy. The birds chirped in the trees above me. The light breeze blew dead leaves across the ground making scratching noises as they scraped across the rocks. Squirrels scurried about chasing their potential mates up the trees. An occasional leaf would fall to the ground. I pursed and licked my dry lips in an attempt to moisten them. I could still hear the faint drumming in the distance.   
I reached into my bodice, pulled out Tallmadge’s letter, and proceeded to read over it again. I focused on every word on each line. His penmanship is quintessential of a man of letters. The eloquence of his syntax made me smile. As I read over the last line I felt in my heart that I would see him again. I gently touched the parchment tracing across where he had written. He’s alive. I smiled to myself hopeful that what I knew in my heart would come to pass. I sat there for nearly an hour staring blankly at the water in the brook watching it break against the rock as it flowed passed. I glanced up at the sun to figure the time. The sun had drifted further to the west and was inching closer to setting. I estimated that it must be around six o’clock.   
Suddenly, I heard the faint whiny of horses and drums, which pulled me out of my trance. I turned and looked behind over my and saw in the distance the small company of men in marching formation returning to camp. I stood up so fast that I lost my balanced and fell back down onto the rock. I tried to catch myself on the rock but I injured my hand as it quickly grasped the rough stone. Turning over my palm I could see where I cut myself. I winced from the pain. It wasn’t bleeding that much so I just applied some pressure by closing my hand. I cursed myself under my breath over my clumsiness as I bent down to retrieve the letter I dropped as I stumbled. When I happened to glance up I could see two mounted men galloping towards me. I looked beyond them to see the company of men deviating to the campsite. As they came closer I could see them more clearly and my heart almost burst when I realized that it was Major Tallmadge.   
Lieutenant Brewster and Major Tallmadge stopped a short distance away from me and exchanged a few words that I couldn’t hear. My feet seemed to be buried in the ground for I could not move. What if this was an apparition? Could I be imagining this, I thought to myself as Brewster rode back to the encampment with a smirk on his face. Major Tallmadge stared at me for a moment. I stood there wide eyed and trembling as I watched him dismount, remove his helmet, and came towards me. I still could not move. My heart pounded faster and faster as he drew closer. I clutched his letter in my left hand just as he approached me. We were not face to face. It was more like face to chest since I was not wearing heels. A few moments of silence passed between the two of us as we stood there awkwardly.   
“Miss Allen.” He acknowledged in his usual courteous manner. His uniform was battle worn. The white and blue was dusted with dirt and gun power. It was also streaked with blood. The emotions I felt at the sight of it varied from shocking to invigorating. He strolled up to me still display his mannerism of nervously holding onto the hilt of his saber as if he were prepared for a surprise attack at any moment.   
“Major.” I replied breathily glancing up at him through the top of my eyes. I looked away from him bashfully. “I am glad to see you’re . . .” I tried to say but our words muddled together as we both began to speak at the same time.  
“It is so good to see . . . “He attempted to say. We both stopped laughing coyly at the situation.   
“I am glad to see that you are well.” I blurted out. He retreated within himself for a reply. “My father told me that the British we planning to attack from Germantown.” My tone changed and more than likely revealed my concern for his safety.   
“Yes. There was. Our forces outnumbered theirs, however, there was massive disorganization and chaos on our side due to the gun smoke and fog. We were forced to retreat.” I believed him. From what I could tell his explanation, despite its lack of detail, was a true and accurate account of what had happened. Tallmadge was looking down past my glance and down at my hand. “You, got my letter.” He spoke with a calm enthusiasm. I had nearly forgotten that I was still clutching on to it.  
“Oh, yes, I-I did.” I said shakily as I brought it up into the space between us holding it at the level of my bodice. “Father gave it to me this morning.” Tallmadge appeared to be pleased at the fact that Father did not keep his message from me. “Up until this moment, I had been afraid that I would never be able to give you my reply.” I said reservedly as I looked up at him and smiled. His eyes went wide with surprise and a small grin appeared in the corner of his mouth. The depth of his piercing gaze cut into me like a hot knife. It hurt, or perhaps that was my hand. In that moment, I didn’t care.   
“And what is your reply? If I may be so bold.” His brow up crooked quizzically. He seemed to become tenser in anticipation of my response. Had he really not figured it out by now? I looked down at the letter in my hand and sighed breathily almost laughing with delight and revealing a wide smile. Looking back up at him I saw him shift his weight nervously.  
“You have not presumed falsely.” I said shaking my head softly. There was a gleam of astonishment in his eyes that only made me smile more. I inhaled deeply before continuing. “And I also wish that we . . . “I paused trying to find the right words. “. . . that we, um, continue to learn . . .” I stuttered the words. They didn’t seem to fully express my feelings. “No, wait that doesn’t sound right.” I looked away from him grimacing at my own words. I breathed deeply in an attempt to calm my nerves. I looked down at the letter in my hands remembering Tallmadge’s declarations of respect and admiration for me and how he wanted to expand our acquaintance further. This was the first time I had ever done this sort of thing. It was very difficult for me to articulate what I wanted and how I felt, especially towards the target of those affections. “It is also my deepest and sincerest wish that we come to know each other better, throughout your stay here . . . “I quoted his letter back to him. “. . . and afterwards.” I wanted him to know that I wanted our acquaintance to continue even when the army had moved on to their winter camp.  
After I had finished, continued to stare at him waiting for his response. He appeared to be at a loss for words. Judging by the expression on his face he seemed a little perplexed by my response. Did he not think I would reciprocate his affections? I thought. After a moment he now seemed to be comprehending that I felt the same as he did. He nervously swallowed his doubts and his eyes warmed their gaze as his corner smile reappeared.   
“Then you . . . feel the same?” He leaned forward slightly as if he needed some sort of reassurance or confirmation of what I had just said. My contentment got the better of me as I chuckled a bit.   
“Yes. I dare say I do.” I happily validated his suspicions. His posture straightened as if he were taken aback. We looked away from each other laughing and grinning. Now what do I do? I asked myself. We stood there awkwardly silent for a few moments. Tallmadge suddenly looked down and began to look concerned.   
“Your hand. It’s bleeding.” He seemed alarmed. I had completely forgotten about it.  
“Oh, it is just a scratch.” I said apathetically as I looked down at my right hand where I had cut it on the rock. Alarmingly, it was red with blood. I had hurt it worse than I previously thought.   
“We should see that tended to.” Tallmadge said as he led me off towards the camp.   
As we passed through the camp I could see that the defeat at Germantown was a severe blow to men’s morale. It looked no better than when I came here the first time. The smell had not changed. Men and boys all around were in various stages of armament, from the best armed soldiers to the completely unequipped. It was a depressing sight to behold, and this was just a small number of men. I could only imagine the suffering of the other hundreds who also go without proper arms and provisions. It was not the fault of anyone, really. America had never had a standing army before, we never needed to. The mud and God knows what else slogged under foot as we made our way to the infirmary. There was no physician in sight when we entered the tent. The cots were empty. Major Tallmadge found the linen bandages and proceeded to loot one.  
“Major, that’s not necessary. Your men need these resources more than I do.” I didn’t want to take away from those who were already desperate. He looked at me peculiarly.   
“Miss Allen, I don’t think the Continental Army is going to disparage over a missing bandage.” He teased. I acknowledged he was probably right by tilting and nodding my head. I then proceeded to wash the cut in the basin on the table next to me. After I cleaned the wound I realized how bad it was. I had a cut from just below my thumb to the base of my palm. It was not so deep that it required stitches, but it did need dressing. It would definitely leave a scar. I took a seat next to the table and Tallmadge pulled up a chair to sit opposite me.   
As soon as I had dried the wound with a clean linen I threw away the used linen. Major Tallmadge then took my hand and gently proceeded to dress it. I watched as his hands tenderly wrapped the linen over my cut. My breathing became labored and my heart beat a little faster as I timorously stared at his long, slender fingers gently finished binding my hand. My lips had gone dry. I quickly pulled them into my mouth to moisturize them without being noticed. When he tugged the linen to tighten it I winced biting my lip as the pain stabbed into my hand. He looked up at me worried that he had hurt me. I smiled at him warmly to reassure him that he did not.   
“Thank you.” I said softly as I retracted my hand and holding it tenderly. I traced my left thumb over the bandages. I saw Tallmadge stand up and offer me his hand. I took it with my newly bandaged hand and stood up. He pushed open the entrance to the infirmary and held it open for me to exit through. I quickly stuffed his letter back into my bodice before he noticed. He followed closely behind. We then proceeded to walk side by side through the camp. “How is Mr. Higgins?” I inquired after my patient. It had been two days since his surgery and I wanted to know if he had survived. Major Tallmadge thought back for a moment.  
“He’s alive. Thanks to you.” I looked away smiling modestly. “I had order that he be moved to the main hospital on the so that he may recover from his wound.” He recalled. I was relieved to hear that. It was a nerve racking procedure that I had never performed before. I hope to never do it again. I stopped walking. Tallmadge stopped at my side. “What you did was extraordinary. You moved with such a powerful presence. May I ask, how were able to maintain your composure? ” His compliments were kind just as they had been that night. I was a little reluctant to divulge to him my insecurities. But, if we were going to earn each other’s trust and move further I had to put aside my fears and open up to him.   
“I’m afraid I must admit I was quiet terrified.” I confessed. He seemed confused cocking his head like a quizzical beagle. “You see . . . I had never performed a bullet extraction surgery before. If Mr. Higgins had died as a result of his injuries or of any mistake I made . . . I would have blamed myself for it. In that moment, I greatly doubted myself and my abilities. ” He absorbed that before softly nodding as if he understood.  
“It is a challenge being responsible for the lives of others. I feel the same way when it comes to the men under my command. It is a difficult burden to bear.” The tone in his voice was solemn, but his honesty was a relief. Still there was something in his voice that felt off, as if something was troubling him. It was the same look he had just before we were interrupted by Mr. Higgins’ shooting.  
“Major, is there something troubling you?” He appeared surprised that I had noticed. He grinned warmly as he turned his body towards me.   
“Benjamin. Please, call me Benjamin.” I was a little embarrassed, but I was more than happy to oblige his request.  
“Benjamin.” I said softly. I could feel my face beaming. My delight turned back to unease. “It’s not just the defeat at Germantown is it?” I spoke as I reached with my bandaged hand and touched his arm. I gazed up at him the concern was plainly etched on my face. He looked reluctant to reveal whatever it was.   
“I . . . learned just a few weeks ago that . . . my brother, Samuel, had died . . . on a prison ship.” His words were grave. I was dismayed.   
“Oh… I’m… so sorry. I should not have…” I felt as if I had hurt him reopening these wounds by inquiring. I could never imagine the suffering that Benjamin’s brother must have endured. I started to lower my hand from his arm but his hand stopped me.  
“No, don’t be. As painful as it is losing my brother, I know that one day he will have justice.” Benjamin’s justice sounded more like vengeance, but I said nothing.   
“I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to my sisters.” I revealed to him. “They can be spoiled and selfish brats, but, they’re still my sisters and I love them.” I don’t often speak of Anne and Bess in such a manner. Nor would I ever admit to it. “Don’t you dare tell them I said that!” Benjamin chuckled. I wanted to know more now that the mood had changed. We began to walk again. “What about your parents?” I inquired.   
“My father is in Connecticut, and my mother died when I was younger.” He said calmly. We shared that fact. “She was a kind woman, but stern whenever Samuel and I got into trouble.” I smiled at the thought of a younger version of Benjamin running around Setauket getting into mischief.   
“My mother died when I was eight years old.” I shared that with him. “She was the one who instilled in me the importance of knowledge. Mother always encouraged me to read and to question. Father never dared to oppose her, and after she died he allowed me to continue on that path. He knew Mother would be cross with him if he didn’t. My sisters were so young when she died they have no memories of her.” Even my own reminiscences of Mother were faint and at times muddled.   
“Well, she certainly would be proud of all your accomplishments.” Benjamin said charmingly.   
“You said that you got into trouble in your youth. Did you get into any mischief at Yale?” I asked boldly.   
“There wasn’t much time to, really. I was so busy with my studies that was never an option.” That amused the both us. We stated laughing. “I’m sure Nathan partook in some antics whenever I wasn’t around.” I heard him say.  
“Nathan who?” I asked curiously. Benjamin’s tone changed again. His face darkened and his eyes deepened. Then he remembered that I was standing their waiting for his answer.  
“My best friend at school, Nathan Hale.” The moment he said that name I knew that I had heard it before, but I could not for the life of me remember where. Something must have happened between them, perhaps they quarreled and have not repaired their friendship. It was irritating me that I could not recall where I knew the name Nathan Hale from so I pressed Benjamin further for more information. But I had to tread carefully so that I didn’t step too far.  
“What happened to him?” I asked cautiously. He looked over at me and then lowered his head somberly. Whatever it was must have been terrible, I thought. He pursed his lips and sighed heavily before answering.  
“He was . . . hanged in New York as a spy.” He said with great melancholy. My mind shot back to the last time I visited Charlotte in New York in September of last year. I was staying with her and her husband so that I could be there for the birth of their son. I remembered everything now. How could I possibly have forgotten that day? I had gone out that morning for a walk to get some fresh air. As I came upon the Dove Tavern I asked a gentlemen what was happening and he said, “A Rebel spy was getting’ his neck stretched.” I maintained my composure and went over to stand behind the crowd.   
The noose had already been fastened to the tree limb that rose above the make-shift scaffold. I looked over and saw the British soldiers march a young man not much older than I was down the Post Road. They led him up to the hangmen’s noose and put it around his neck. Before he was to die he was allowed to speak his last words. The crowd went silent. His voice rose above all their heads and hit me in the chest.   
“How beautiful is death, when earn'd by virtue! / Who would not be that youth? /What pity is it / That we can die but once to serve our country.” His words were from Addison’s Cato. I knew the play well. After he had spoken, a hood was placed over his head and the cart he stood upon was kicked out from underneath him. After a few moments, he was dead. When it was over I quickly turned around and went back to Charlotte’s   
“Kate, what is it? What’s wrong?” Benjamin’s voice brought me out of the recollection of that horrible day. Tears were streaming down my face.


	18. Getting to Know You

The memory of Nathan Hale’s execution and the aftermath were still very fresh in my mind. It was a horrible sight to witness. I recalled how I swiftly abandoned the crowd to go back to Charlotte’s. I went straight up to my room and wept. I cried for him and for his family. He must have felt utterly alone. A captured spy had no friends, not even on his own side. Being a patriot in New York was like being a sheep among the wolves. Yet, in that moment he appeared undaunted. At the time of his execution I didn’t know his name. It was not until the following day when Charlotte’s husband, William, casually mentioned it at supper. I had kept that young man’s name in the back of my mind ever since. Unbeknownst to me was the fact that I had been present at the death of one of Benjamin’s best friends. Should I tell him the truth, and that I was there? I did not want to cause him further pain, but nor did I want to keep it from him.   
When I looked up at him I could see that he was now standing quite close to me with a concerned expression on his face. The horror of that day was no doubt written on my face. I quickly wiped away the tears from my cheeks. I tried breathing deeply to calm myself, but it just came out shaky. The nervous pit lingered in my stomach. I could see that Benjamin was waiting patiently for me to answer, but I was still struggling whether or not to tell him the truth. Suddenly, he reached with both hands and gently caressed each of my arms just above the elbow. He had not touched me thusly before only the typical courteous kiss on the hand, but nothing more. A sudden rush of warmth swept across my chest, an elation as you might say.   
“Katherine, please, tell me what’s wrong.” He spoke softly despite his anxiety. The touch of his hands was quite reassuring. I glanced up at him my eyes gave away my lack of surety. I did not know what he would do or whether he’d be angered or saddened if I told him the truth. His eyes looked deeply into mine as if they were begging for an answer and my heart gave in. Had he just called me Katherine? I thought. I was shocked. He had always addressed me as Miss Allen up until now. When I saw that he was waiting for my answer I reluctantly obliged.   
“I do not know if should tell you this, because it will only grieve you further. That is why it pains me to tell you.” I told him. He seemed unfazed by my warning. “But I also believe that there should be few secrets between us.” I paused to find the right words. “You see, in September of last year I was in New York visiting my dear friend, Charlotte. On morning I went for a walk and I . . .” I breathed deeply. “A crowd had gathered for an execution. The British had captured a patriot spy. I watched as they brought him to the noose, he spoke, and then he . . .” I looked away from him in shame, and the tears began to well up again. His hands slowly withdrew in shock as he turned away from me. What have I done? I was furious with myself.   
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have told you.” I regretted telling him the truth. Hurting him was the one thing I wanted to avoid, yet it was precisely what I ended up doing. My hands remained held out in front of me just as he had left them. Just when I thought I had lost him, I watched as he tenderly took my hands in his.   
“No. Do not be.” The warmth of his voice surprised me. Confused, I gazed up into his thoughtful eyes. His thumb gently stroked the back of my hand. “I’m relieved in fact that you told me this and I agree that we should be honest with each other.” His hands slipped away from mine as he started to say something else, but stopped himself. When he had made up his mind he continued. “I hate to trouble you further on this, but …What did he say in his final moments?” I understood that it was only natural to know what his friend’s last words were. I remembered Hale’s words clearly now, as if the incident took place only yesterday.   
“He had quoted Addison’s Cato. He spoke as if he were addressing each man, woman, and child present. There was no fear or hesitation. ” I paused for a moment before reciting the quote myself. “How beautiful is death, when earn'd by virtue! / Who would not be that youth? /What pity is it / That we can die but once to serve our country.” I reached and reassuringly touched is arm. I believed that it was some consolation for him to know that Hale died with some form of dignity. There was no doubt in my mind that Hale’s death impacted him greatly. It aggrieved me to bring him any discomfort, but I felt that he understood. I realized that it wasn’t the right time to discuss my plans should I return to Philadelphia. Perhaps another time, I thought. Benjamin appeared to recognize that. He grinned slightly to himself as if he were recalling a memory. We resumed our stroll. “What is it?” I was rather curious by his change in mood.   
“Well we, that is Nathan and I, would sneak off school grounds to see it while at school.” He grinned down at me mischievously.   
“Well, I’m sure it never interfered with your studies.” I teased grinning. “Father would take me to see it whenever it played in town. To this day, I believe I’ve seen it no less than twelve times. I must confess that I tormented my sisters with my own recitations. I would force them to be my audience while I would wrap a linen sheet over my gown as if I were a Roman senator and perform each character myself.” I admitted to him. Benjamin then burst into laughter. “It’s not that funny.” When he couldn’t stop laughing, I grew a little embarrassed and a bit annoyed, but I had to admit that it was rather amusing. Benjamin attempt to stifle his outbursts of amusement failed. I felt so light hearted in that moment as if those previous minutes of melancholy had never existed. “Alright, I admit it is rather funny.” I confessed with a chuckle.  
As we passed through the camp I could begin to see the fires glow against the darkness of the twilight.   
‘Which excerpt is your favorite?” Benjamin inquired enthusiastically. I had to think for a moment in order to recall the exact line. The sounds of horses and men echoed all around us. Just as we reached the entrance of the camp I came to a halt. When I had fully recollected it I smiled at him.  
“Why should Rome fall a moment ere her time! / No, let us draw her term of freedom out / So shall we gain still one day's liberty; / And let me perish, but in Cato's judgment, / A day, an hour, of virtuous liberty / Is worth a whole eternity in bondage/.” I recited as I looked away off into the distance. Once I had finished I glanced back up at Ben. When our eyes met I felt the air escape my lungs and my heart seemed to skip a beat. He looked at me with such warmth and depth that it pierced through me like a barb.   
“And yours?’ I managed to stutter. Benjamin did not look away from my gaze. His eyes only warmed at my question. The corner of his mouth twitched up into a grin. My heart pounded faster as I fiddled with a loose piece of bandage on my hand.   
“The very same one.” His voice was tender as it spoke those few words. Whether it was the chill of the autumn wind or the sheer intensity of the moment I felt a shiver down the back of my neck that ventured down my spine. I trembled at the sensation. My breathing was shuddered. In that moment, I thought he would make an attempt to kiss me. Not that I would have objected, but I was no less uneasy about it. Luckily he did no such thing. After all he was a proper gentleman. I looked away from him and towards the house. I could see the faint glow of candlelight in the windows. The hour was growing late. I would not have long before Father would send someone to bring me into dinner.  
“Well, I suppose I should be going now. It is rather late and I don’t want Father to have to send someone after me.” I tried awkwardly to find a way to avoid sounding too eager to leave his company. If it were at all possible I would have stayed with him all night, just to continue talking and learning more about each other. However, there was propriety to consider and no matter how unconventional I was even I didn’t dare suggest such a thing to a gentleman.   
“Oh, um, might I have the honor of escorting you back?” He requested with a small degree of insecurity as if I could refuse him. I adored that quizzical look he often had on his face. I could only smile.   
“Yes, of course.” I said softly with enthusiasm. He gestured with his entire body leading me towards the house.   
The air had now turned cold and I shivered underneath my shawl. Benjamin must have noticed this because he moved slightly closer to me in attempt to shield me form the elements. The wind blew even stronger while we were in the open.   
“Please . . . allow me.” He requested with the upmost courtesy Benjamin in one swift motion removed his cloak and gently shrouded me. It happened so suddenly that I had no time to express to him my concern for his general warmth.   
“Thank you.” I could feel his warmth as it wrapped around me although that may have been the blood rushing to my face. I wanted to stay close to him to keep him warm. The stars glimmered above us in the blanket of the night sky.   
When we came upon the porch I could see that Tildy and Rachel had begun to set the table for dinner. Just as we reached the foot of the porch I turned around and faced him. The candlelight provided just enough light so that I could see his face in the dark. The moonlight also gave its aid. I traced the edges of his face and the prominence of his brow and nose with my eyes. His eyes were the first things I noticed and they still maintained their grip upon me. The rays of moonlight glimmered in them like the surface of a lake. Were it not so late, I would have happily drowned in them.   
“Well, this has been quite an evening.” I spoke snapping out of my adoring trance and slowly slid his cloak off of my shoulders. We stood only inches apart.   
“Yes, it has.” He said with a breath as he took back his cloak. Benjamin’s eye searched behind me as if he was waiting for someone to come out and interrupt us. I glanced over my shoulder following his line of sight.   
“Perhaps we shall continue our conversation at another time?” I implied. His body language conveyed a feeling of enthusiasm. He straightened his back as he shifted his weight form one foot to the other. His eyes widened and his thin smile grew as it moved across his lips.   
“That would be splendid.” His eagerness was soon swept away by a pressing thought. His gaze drifted away into thought. A sigh passed through him and the change in mood troubled me. “I do not know when that will be. General Washington has asked that I take my dragoons out and patrol along the Schuylkill.” That was slightly disappointing to hear I will admit, but he had his duty and I would not have him abandon his responsibilities.  
“I understand.” I replied with a sympathetic smile. “You have your duty to Washington and I would not have you defy your integrity by forsaking your duty.” He appeared to be charmed by my answer. I could feel my face blush as I coyly looked away from his stare. Suddenly, I felt him tenderly take my bandaged hand. I watched as he steadily brought it up to his lips for a gracious kiss.   
“I have no doubt that we shall see each other again soon.” The warmth of his voice was a sharp contrast to the night cold. “Good night, Miss Allen.” A shiver went down my spine as I inhaled sharply then unconsciously bit the inside of my lip. I held my breath for several moments as we silently gazed into each other’s eyes.   
“Good night.” I replied with a breath as I looked away from him. The touch of his lips still lingered against my skin. My heart felt like it was leaping inside my chest. Was this how he felt last night? The unbearable desire to stay but not the will to, I thought to myself. My whole body turned and I slowly made my way up the steps. What the hell are you doing, Kate? You can’t just leave it like that! I shouted in my head. I sharply turned back around to stop him from leaving. “Major Tallmadge, please wait!” I called back to him. He too spun around upon my. I observed him a moment under the moonlight as the gold of his uniform reflected in the light, and the blue appeared to be nearly as dark as the night.   
“Yes, Miss Allen?” Benjamin sounded surprised by my sudden interjection. He maintained his nervous grip of the hilt of his saber as he stepped forward into the dim candlelight coming from within the house. I sighed as I rested my hands in front of me just above my hoops and fiddled with my bandaging. A closed smile on my face.   
“Katherine, would please call me Katherine?” I said timidly. He had called me by my name earlier out of shear concern, but ceased to immediately afterward. I longed for him to say it again. I stood there on baited breath waiting for him to speak. A contented grin appeared on his lips.   
“Of course. Goodnight, Katherine.” He said with a gallant bow never leaving my eyes. My chest swelled from the burst of joy that exploded inside me. It took every ounce of resilience I had to maintain my composure. The only thing that escaped from me was a soft laugh as I exhaled.   
“Goodnight, Benjamin.” I replied after a short curtsy. He gave a small nod of his head as he grinned softly. I stood there and watched him as he walked away into the night. When he was out of sight I threw back my head and let out a jubilant exhalation. I reached into my bodice, retrieved his letter, and held it against my chest in serenity. I smiled in delight while my heart raced as I opened the door and went inside.  
When I entered the house I was met with the vast array of sounds and smells that came from the kitchen. The servants were hard at work making preparations for another night of dining. I opened Benjamin’s letter to read it again, but just as I unfolded the parchment it was snatched out of my hand by Bess.   
“Ooh. What’s this?” She said as she too it from me. Anne stood by the pulled back curtains an apprehensive look on her face. Had they been spying on us? Those little imps!   
“Give. That. Back.” I said in a rage. She was already dressed for supper. Her hair was done up neat and tidy. I was more than happy to change that. She danced around the foyer with Benjamin’s letter in hand. Bess the held it up to her ace and began to read sections of it aloud for all to hear.   
“I implore your forgiveness if I seem forward. In the short amount of time in which we have become aquatinted I have acquired a great respect and affection for you.” Bess recited.  
“Bess, stop. Give it back!” I implored as I lunged forward to snatch the letter back. She impishly giggled as she dodged me.   
“Bess that’s enough.” Anne entreated on my behalf.  
“It is not just your beauty, of which you greatly possess, that I find admirable, but your mind as well!” She orated again. I then proceeded to chase her around the room. She wailed when I grabbed her and forcibly wrenched Benjamin’s letter out of her small hands.   
“What on Earth is going on down here?” Father inquired as he came down the stairs. I still gripped onto Bess’ wrist behind her back with one hand and held Ben’s letter behind my back with the other. There was no physical evidence of our scuffle.   
“Nothing, Father.” I tightened my grip on Bess’ wrist and she whimpered. My point was to scare her not hurt her.   
“Nothing, Father.” Bess mimicked. I released my grip and she quickly jerked her hand away.   
“Well, alright. Kate dear it’s almost time for supper. You should go on and get dressed.” He said from his placed halfway down the stairs.   
“Yes, Father” I curtsied giving Bess an angry side eye before going upstairs. I entered my room with a fury reaching over and screamed into my pillow. That’s what I get for being nice to them. They’re immaturity knows no bounds. Anne slightly less, but Bess is no longer a child and should know better. And to think I almost thought they had grown past it. I threw my shawl onto my bed and began to take off my day dress. Slipping out of it I went over to wash my face and fix my hair of any fly aways. I laid Ben’s letter on my vanity. When that was done I chose a red silk damask gown out of my wardrobe to wear for supper. I could dress myself whenever it was necessary, but it was not without difficulty. I struggled with the back lacing. Thankfully, Rachel entered the room to assist me. After she helped me lace up my gown Rachel went over to pick up my day gown to take it for washing.   
“What’s this here?” She asked nodding towards the letter.   
“Oh, that’s a letter.” I said reluctantly as I slipped into my heels. She crooked an eyebrow at me. I tried my best to sound oblivious to no avail.   
“I can see that. Who’s it from?” Judging by the look on her face she already knew that answer she just wanted me to tell her.  
“Um, it’s from…Major Tallmadge.” I admitted innocently. She grinned slightly. I sat down on my bed with an exhale.   
‘So that’s why you were chasing Miss Bess for?” She inquired. I nodded. “They were watchin’ you two from out the window.” She revealed to me.  
“I knew it!” I said in an angry whisper. She laughed.  
“So that’s where you’ve been all afternoon, huh?” She had that knowing look about her again. I could only grin.   
“Rachel he is so wonderful. I can hardly describe it. It’s so strange.” I said lightheartedly. I stopped to collect my thoughts. Rachel came and sat beside me. “When I am with him I feel that I can speak my mind openly with no judgement or restriction. He is of an equal and present mind. The more time we spend together the more we learn about each other. We have both suffered such loss. He more than I. Yet, Rachel, he possess such compassion and resolve it’s astonishing.” Rachel started to laugh. My smile disappeared.   
“Kate, dear girl. You know what that is?” She said raising her brow slightly.  
“What?” I said shaking my head. I was uncertain of what she was talking about.  
“You’re in love.” Rachel put an emphasis on the word “love”. I was stunned. My eyes were wide and my mouth had dropped open as a result of Rachel’s insinuation. Was she right? Is this what love feels like? I glanced down at my bandaged hand. With my left thumb I traced over the place where Benjamin’s lips had been only minutes before. I smiled to myself as I reflected back on today and the previous times Benjamin and I spent together. I could no longer deny how I felt. I knew now for certain that I was irrefutably in love.


	19. Persuasions

All I could do was grin bashfully and blissfully sigh as I looked away from her. Rachel had not mistaken. My affections for Major Tallmadge had grown stronger these past few days. I had not wanted to admit the truth because I have always thought that such things were irrational. It was difficult to admit that I had been wrong. Passion and logic can indeed coexist within the human soul. Maintaining the balance of the two is the truest assessment of one’s reason, and there was no doubt that I was being tested. I looked back at Rachel who still had her knowing look about her. My smile grew wider and I began to laugh. I had never experienced anything like this before. It was all so strange and delightful. When I stopped laughing I turned back to Rachel.  
“All I know is that for the first time I understand what all the fuss is about.” I said slowly shaking my head. Rachel seemed confused so I enlightened her. “What I know about romantic love I’ve only found in books. I’ve always thought it peculiar the things those characters did for love. It’s only now that I can truly begin to comprehend their motivations. Love is consuming even at its early stages and it is more than just a physical allure. It is an attraction to the mind and the soul. In all my life, I never would have thought that I’d find such a man.” Rachel had a crooked grin on her lips.  
“All that from just over a week?” She extended a single nod at me. “By the sound of it you and the Major are well on your way to the altar.” She surprised me when she said that. I began to laugh it off.  
“Rachel, we’ve only just begun to learn about each other.” I tried to dodge her comment.   
“Mmhm.” She crooked an eyebrow at me. I glanced over at her through my peripheral. “Miss Kate, do you love this gentleman or not?” That wounded me. I thought I had made that clear.  
“Yes. Of course I do.” I said with insistence. Rachel appeared to be triumphant that she succeeded in getting me to admit my feeling aloud.   
“And he cares for you, yes?” Rachel pressed. I looked at the letter still lying on the vanity desk and smiled.   
“Yes, I believe he does.” I spoke softly and affectionately.   
“Well then. There you have it. What else is there to know?” She shrugged.   
“Oh, Rachel it is not as simple as that. There is still so much left to learn . . .” I rose from my seat on my bed and started for the door to go down to supper. Just before I exited my room I turned back to Rachel. “…and I intend to.”   
When I came downstairs, I could see Father sitting in the parlor reading a newspaper while Anne and Bess gossiped by the harpsichord. When I caught Bess’ eye I scowled down at her. She should have known better than to pull something like that. When Father saw me he rose from his chair. I took his arm and we went into supper with Anne and Bess following closely behind. When Tildy brought out the roasted mutton, potatoes, and carrots. The delicious smell filled the dining room. She began to serve each of us ladling portions onto our plates.   
“Kate, how was your walk this evening? We have hardly seen you today.” Father spoke inquisitively as he spooned his supper. I grew nervous. My walk with Benjamin wouldn’t come as a surprise to Father, but I wanted to keep it a secret regardless. I glanced at him through the corner of my eye. James came around and began to pour my wine.   
“Oh, it was . . . fine. The weather was fair and the waters were quite smoothing.” I went back to eating. Father appeared to be satisfied with my answer and I also thought the matter was settled however Bess took little time to interject.  
“Kate, did you see the Continental return to camp?’ She said with the arrogant look on her face.   
“Yes, Bess. I did.” I faked a smile, but my voice and eyes were daggers. Bess seemed so proud of herself so she kept pushing.   
“Was Major Tallmadge there?” I rolled my eyes at her pretentiousness. Anne elbowed her trying to get her to stop. I wanted to reach over and smack that look off of her face. Father was looking at me waiting for me to answer.  
“He was.” I said feigning indifference as I continued to eat and restrain myself from strangling her. Before Bess could pester me any further Father put a stop to it. Bess was just opening her big mouth when Father interrupted her.  
“That is enough Bess. I am certain your sister’s association with Major Tallmadge is of little interest to you.” His words were condescending towards her and I couldn’t be happier. Bess’ provocations stopped immediately. She slumped in her seat and pouted. Anne appeared to be relieved that it was over and that she still had two sisters. Father and I exchanged a quick glance where he acknowledged how discomforted I was and I thanked him with a smile. I went back to my supper as I grinned to myself. The table was silent for quite a while other than the occasional clinking of silverware.  
“Father, have you heard from uncle again?” Anne asked out of nowhere. It had been a week since Uncle Henry sent his request to Father to join in a business venture with the British Crown. Father appeared reluctant to answer, but all three of us stared at him waiting. He soon gave in with a sigh.  
“Yes, he wrote to me this afternoon and he expects an answer.” As he spoke he turned looking at me somberly. Anne and Bess were confused, but I was well aware of what Father was talking about.  
“An answer to what, Father?” Bess asked inquiringly. Father knew that he couldn’t keep this from them for much longer. Neither he nor I knew how they would take it.   
“Your uncle has made well with his new acquaintances in Philadelphia and he wants me to join him. The crops are almost reaped and will soon be ready for market. I have to make my decision soon. ” The girls still seemed confused.  
“Would that mean we would go back home?” Bess asked. Both Anne and Bess leaned in to hear Father’s answer.  
“If I accept my brother’s offer. Yes, we would return to the city.” Father said gravely. Bess unconcerned with the consequences of going back to Philadelphia appeared to be overjoyed with the idea of going back to her precious high society inner circle. She bounced in her seat like an imbecile. Anne appeared to be enthusiastic about the notion as well, but was more reserved in her response. “But, there are certain risks that weigh heavily on my mind that I have to consider. After I have sorted them out then and only then will I make my choice.”   
“Yes Father.” Bess and Anne responded dutifully. I knew that it was up to me to persuade Father to take us back to Philadelphia. Only when that was done could I go to Ben and tell him my plan.   
“Well, I am feeling rather weary. I think I’ll retire early tonight.” He spoke as he laid down his napkin and rose from his seat. The three of us rose as well as we were all finished. Bess and Anne turned to go upstairs, but I stayed behind. I knew that I had to intervene before he turns down the offer.   
“Father, might I be of any help?” I spoke up before Father could leave for bed. He turned around with a smile.   
“Well, I suppose.” His head gestured towards the library. We went inside and Father closed the door behind him.   
“What is it that troubles you?” I was concerned to be honest and I wanted to put his mind at ease, but I also wanted to coax him for my purpose. He sat in his arm chair with a deep sigh.   
“I should not be plaguing you with my worries my dear. Yet, I would also have your council on this matter.” He paused. “I am . . . concerned that our present arrangement with the Continentals encamped here will put us all in danger. Should word reach the British commanders we would all be at risk if we returned.” I thought of an answer that would steer Father towards Philadelphia.  
“Surely, Uncle could convince them. We could always feign neutrality so that it benefits us.” Father looked at me astonished by what I had just said.  
“Kate, you have always been the proclaimed patriot. I thought you would be disgusted by such an arrangement?” I do that’s why I’m doing this, I thought to myself.   
“I am allied with my family and if this business arrangement is beneficial for our family, then I support it. We should have connections on both sides so that we are in good favor with whichever victor.” He began to consider my words.   
“And what of Major Tallmadge?” He looked back up at me. The thought of leaving Benjamin was a shot to the heart. Father could see it on my face.   
“It would change nothing. The distance will be difficult I am aware of that, but I must think of the family first and my heart second. This is an opportunity that we cannot squander merely on the basis of politics. Benjamin will understand.” I sat down in the seat across from him. “My political views have not and will not change, Father. I know that we all have ardently supported the cause from the beginning. We would need only pretend to support the Crown so long as we profit from it.” Father slunk back in his chair perplexed by my small discourse. I stood there waiting for his response.  
“Well, you certainly are a merchant’s daughter.” I did not know whether to take that as a compliment or not. “Are you certain that we could pull off such a farce?”   
“We would merely be players and they will be our audience. I have no doubt that we will have them in the palms of our hands.” I smirked at him mischievously. That was as far as I was willing to cajole him tonight. I felt that I had done what I set out to do.   
“Very well, then. I will consider your opinion and will have an answer soon. Goodnight, my dear.” He stood up and came around his desk and stood before me. I stood as he rose. He tenderly placed his hands on my shoulders and kissed my forehead. I did feel a great deal of guilt for manipulating my father thus, but it was the greater good.  
“Goodnight, Father.” I smiled at him before turning and leaving the library to go upstairs.   
Once I began to undress I began to think over how I was going to approach Benjamin with my plan. I was not sure about how Benjamin would feel about my plan, but surely he would understand the need for a loyal patriot spy in Philadelphia now more than ever. Benjamin is my way to get to Washington. He will know who I need to speak with in order to get the proper clearance. I was well aware of the risks, but I was certain of my capabilities. It could be weeks before we go back to the city. That was plenty of time for me to be trained in their methods of encryption and their system of relaying intelligence.   
As I laid down to sleep the thoughts kept rushing. My stomach turned at the thought of doing business with the enemy, but it was the only way that I could get back to the city. The risks involved are great. I have seen them for myself so I was well aware of what I was getting myself into. Nathan Hale’s death weighed heavily on my mind. Yet, I knew that I was capable of the task and that I had two things that would keep me safe: my family name and my sex. Our family was well respected and admired in high society. The connections Uncle Henry made will open the doors to other Tories and the highest commanders of the British Army. My sex would prove to be quite beneficial in that I would be underestimated and accepted as a delicate spoiled heiress. I had had years of experience picking up the style of the Philadelphia snob.   
Three days passed with no sign of Benjamin. I spent those days rehearsing how I would present my plan to him and all of the scenarios that might happen. He may refuse to help me go to Washington, or on the other hand he could also be supportive of the idea. If the former were the case I would simply circumnavigate Ben and find another source to get to General Washington. Those three days were agony. I would pace around parlor while my sisters watched confused by my strange behavior. The attempts to distract myself with singing practice and reading had very little effect. On the second day, I knew I had to escape the house and my boredom so I rode out to visit Mary Henry and her newborn son to make sure they were still in good health. The babe had gained weight since his birth and Mary was also doing very well.  
On Sunday, we held our morning prayers at home. We would not attend any of the local country churches. When we were home in the city we routinely attended Christ’s Church even though I found it rather tedious. My sister often fell asleep during services while I always brought a book with me to pass the time. Being an ardent follower of logic and reason, I had always pursued the Deist system of belief. Morality was more important than divinity and God was merely a distant observer of his creation. I had often pondered upon whether he looked down on us in shame for the terrible things we do to each other.   
On the fourth day, I rose early to being my daily chores which I had been lacking in for the past week. I dressed in one of my work gowns and after breakfast I joined Rachel and Tildy to help with the laundry. Father took Anne and Bess with him into town. We spent the next several hours washing and hanging shirts, shifts, and other linens. I could hear the galloping of a horse in the distance. The three of us all turned to see a courier coming towards us from the main Continental camp. He rode up to us and dismounted coming towards me. He reached into his satchel and pulled out a letter.  
“Miss Katherine Allen?” he inquired. I nodded. He handed me the note.   
“Thank you.” I said as I stared at my name across the front in Benjamin’s hand. The courier mounted his horse rode on. I broke the seal and unfurled the note. The message was short and to the point. 

 

Monday 13th of October 1777  
Dear Katherine,  
As I had promised, I write to you now as I have just returned from a routine patrol. Regretfully, I have been ordered to move my men into the larger main encampment at the neighboring manor house. I hope that you shall come here at your own convenience for I greatly desire to see you again.   
Your humble servant,  
Benjamin Tallmadge

 

I smiled as I read it elated to hear from him. I knew I had to sneak away without anyone noticing. Father would not be back for hours and I would be back before they got home. It was the perfect opportunity to speak to him about my plan. When I glanced up from the letter I saw Rachel and Tildy staring at me grinning. There was no doubt in my mind that they had been gossiping and knew very well who the letter was from. I bit my lip silently asking them not to let anyone know that I was gone.   
“Well, what are you waitin’ for child, go on?” Tildy shooed at me. I nearly jumped from excitement as I rushed to the stables. It would have taken too long to change and besides I was rather excited to see Ben again and to tell him of my plan. When I reached the stables I found my horse Eleanor and saddled her. Ellie was the most loyal nag out of the stable. Father bought her for me for my eighteenth birthday two years ago. I had Rachel bring out my riding boots and black cloak while I saddled Ellie. When she returned she seemed apprehensive. I sat down on a bale of hay to put on my boots.   
“Don’t worry, Rachel. I’ll be home before Father gets back. No one is getting into trouble.” I said I pulled off my work slippers and pulled on my riding boots over my stockings. I stood and checked the latches on the saddle.   
“It’s not that Miss Kate. I just want you to be careful that’s all.” She put a hand on my shoulder. I turned back to Rachel as smiled reassuringly.  
“I’ll be fine. How much safer could I be than in the middle of an army?” Rachel did not look convinced. “If you’re so worried come with me.” She looked shocked.   
“I don’t know, Miss Kate. Perhaps James should go instead.” Rachel was uneasy. I thought about it for a moment and I realized that she was right I couldn’t go there alone. Not after what happened last time. “Well, I will need a chaperone.” I glanced over and saw that James, our stable hand, was tending to Bess’ mare.   
“James?” I called out to him. He looked up attentively and immediately came over to us.  
“I’m have some business to attend to at the Continental camp and I need you to come with us to guard the horses.” I spoke confidently. James appeared reluctant. “We’ll be home before my father returns.” I assured. James though apprehensive went to saddle him and Rachel each a horse.  
I led Ellie out of her stall and mounted. I did not bother for the side saddle nonsense I would have fallen off otherwise. James helped Rachel onto her horse before mounting his own. I gave a gentle kick we rode off towards the Continental encampment on Mr. William West’s estate. The chestnut Barb and I trotted down the road with Rachel and James riding closely behind. The manor was not far from our farm just about half a mile. Mr. West was also a merchant from Philadelphia and in the past partook in business ventures with my father and uncle.   
We rode up to a bustling scene of soldiers, horses, and wagons moving through the camp. I slowed Ellie down as we came closer to the commotion coming from the camp. Tents were dotted across the property as far as the eye could see. How would I find him in all of this? I thought. Thousands of men and horses stirred the earth underneath their feet leaving the trails a mess. The stench that arose from the camp was nauseating and even stronger than the smaller on our farm. I nudged Ellie on and began to search for any familiar faces in the horde. Riding past what I believed to be a hospital I could hear the groans of the patients from within.   
“Miss Kate, how do expect to find the Major in the middle of all this.” said Rachel. I had no idea.   
“Surely, a fellow officer would know where I could find him.” As we rode through there appeared to be more officers as we got closer to the manor house. We came upon a group of officers, two majors and a captain standing around a fire pit drinking.   
“You lost, little lady?” One of the majors called out at me in a belittling manner. I rolled my eyes at his tone. When I caught their eyes I stopped Ellie just in front of them and prepared my sting. The one who directed his jab at me was rather tall and dark hair with an arrogant smirk on his face.   
“Well, this is the Continental Army is it not?” I replied. I was not going to be disparaged upon by anyone especially a man. The two others laughed at my retort. The major looked scolded and I was proud of it. “Perhaps now that you are done patronizing me Major …?” I was not going to put up with his condescension.   
“Bradford, Miss. Major William Bradford” He looked positively guilty for being so rude and more so that I called him out on it.   
“…Bradford, maybe you could be of some assistance to me.” I stared down at him eyes narrowed waiting for the right answer.  
“Of course, how may I be of service?” He bowed his head form the neck courteously though he was still wounded by my barb.   
“I am looking for a fellow officer of yours, Major Benjamin Tallmadge. Perhaps you could tell me where I might find him?” My tone was sharp and a bit disdainful. The resentment I felt towards Major Bradford boiled inside my chest. The look on his face told me he knew Benjamin, but that he disliked him. His tone revealed as much as well.   
“Tallmadge, what would a lady such as yourself have need of a schoolmaster?” Bradford spoke haughtily. The arrogant sot was now going too far. His flirtations were dead in the water from the moment we met. It took everything I had in me not to smack him with my riding crop.   
“That is no concern of yours. Now, if you would be so kind as to point me in the right direction and I will be on my way.” I remained calm, but my voice was as cold and unforgiving as a dagger.   
“Just there, right by the covered wagon.” He pointed off towards the distance. I could see the wagon he spoke of.  
“Thank you, Major.” I said coldly as I nudging Ellie forward. I could hear James’ snickering behind me. That made me smile. Rachel sped up and rode closer beside me.  
We found the covered wagon that Bradford had spoken of and where I would find Benjamin. Just as we rode up Caleb Brewster emerged from the tent and was surprised but also looked pleased to see me. I stopped just n front of him.   
“Well, isn’t this a pleasant surprise?” he beamed as he held took bridle. James helped me dismount.  
“It’s good to see you to Brewster.” I smiled back him. He was always such a pleasant fellow. “How are you?”  
“Ah, same as always worn-out and a tad bit drunk.” He laughed as did I. Others would have found his humor quite vulgar, but I found it quite pleasant. “What are you doing all the way out here?” Before I could say anything he already guessed that I had come to speak to Benjamin. “Tallboy’s a little occupied at the moment, but you’re more than welcome to wait out here.”   
“Of course.” It was perfectly understandable that Ben would be occupied there was a winter to prepare for and there may be another battle to fight before then. Rachel and James waited by the horses, but were still close enough to keep an eye on me. I began to pace silently as we waited. Brewster pulled out a flask and took a drink. I became more nervous as time passed by. This was what I had been anticipating, telling Benjamin about my scheme, but now I was growing more and more anxious.   
“So you’ve come all the way out here just to see Ben?” He spoke as he watch me nervously pace back and forth. I halted and turned to him.  
“I have some important things to discuss with him.” That was as much as I was going to tell him.   
“Don’t suppose you’ll be tellin’ me what that is.” He said with a smirk. I stopped again.   
“No.” I said plainly. He shrugged and took another drink.   
After a few minutes, an older gentleman in a brown waistcoat and grey cloak emerged from the tent. He passed by me in haste and I watched him as he headed toward the manor house. I was left utterly confused by the encounter.   
“That’s Mr. Nathaniel Sackett. He’s what you might call the intellectual sort, like yourself.” I heard Brewster say form behind me.   
“He’s a bit peculiar.” I said raising an eyebrow intrigued by Mr. Sackett.   
“You ‘ave no idea.” He said taking out a pipe. I smiled at Brewster’s comment just as Benjamin emerged from the tent. He too seemed surprised that I had come though happy to see me.   
“Katherine, it is so good to see you. What are you doing here? I only just sent my letter this morning.”   
“I know. I had only just received it before coming here. I know this must look ridiculous, but I’m afraid I must speak with you on a matter of urgency.” Tallmadge became both confused and concerned as to my purpose for being there.   
“Of course, please come inside.” He said gesturing towards the tent. Ben held open the tent so that I could enter. I looked back to see him follow closely behind me. I just had to breathe to keep from falling over out of nervousness.   
“Can I offer you something to drink?” He said as he scrambled to find so refreshment. I had always thought Tallmadge’s jittery nature was quite charming, but he was not as nervous as I was.   
‘No, thank you. I’m afraid I can’t stay long. My father will be home soon.” He was holding two empty glasses and a bottle of wine. “I must ask that I have your full assurance that what I tell you remains between us.” He appeared to be concerned.   
“Of course. What is it? What’s happened?” He spoke anxiously as he pulled out a chair for me to sit in. He took a seat across from me. That was of some relief to my anxiety. I could not look directly at him for that would have made me more nervous.   
“Well, you see my father and uncle are very influential businessmen in Philadelphia.” I paused and Tallmadge nodded acknowledging the fact. “My uncle Henry, he stayed behind in the city after it was lost to the British to make sure our families’ were not driven out of our homes and to secure our incomes.” Ben’s brow furled in intrigue as I continued. “While I thought he wanted to maintain neutrality he has in fact been partaking in business with the British and he has asked my father if he would return to the city to join him.” Benjamin was a bit confused as to the controversy of this as he pondered. I inhaled deeply and exhaled in order to relieve the knots in my stomach. “And … I have made attempts to persuade Father to accept his offer.” On that statement Ben’s eyes widened and his burrowed furled deeper. His mouth opened to speak but nothing came out.   
“And why would you do that?” He stammered on the second try. I exhaled again and looked directly at him in the hope that I conveyed my sincerity.   
“From the moment I learned of my uncle’s proposition I have been of a mind to you use my family’s position to the advantage of the cause. That is why I need your help. You are close with General Washington. Now that the capitol is in the hands of enemy Washington needs eyes on the inside now more than ever. It is my intention to offer my services as a spy to Washington so that I might procure information that could be beneficial to war effort.”   
“No! You will not!” He interjected angrily as he rapidly stood and crossed the room. I was taken aback.   
“I beg your pardon?” I was hurt and confused. He wiped at his mouth and smoothed his hair down the back of his neck.   
“Do you have any idea how dangerous spying is?” He shouted in a rage, but he also sounded hurt.  
“Yes, Benjamin I do unless you have forgotten. I am well aware of the risks but the gains could be far greater if you would just . . .” I stood up and went over to him.   
“I will not allow it!” He interrupted again. His stubbornness was beginning to wear down on my nerves.  
“You will not allow it. Is that it? So now that I have declared my affections for you that inevitably means you have control over me?” I was growing angrier by the second.   
“In this matter, yes I do.” He turned to be a blurted out. A fury boiled up within me that would have be suppressed at any other time, but not now.   
“Oh, and why is that?” I demanded crossing my arms with impertinence.  
“Because I am the head of intelligence.” He blurted out without thinking. I was stunned for a moment then I pondered for a moment.  
“Well, then you above anyone should see the opportunity here.” I insisted. “I would be right in the middle of Tory society with unprecedented access. I could infiltrate the inner circles that have connections to the highest ranking officers.” The more I tried to persuade him the less he listened. He looked over at me then turned towards me.   
“I do not care about that. You are not putting yourself in danger. I will not allow that.” His tone shifted to a more compassionate plea that sounded as if he were pleading me not to do this.   
“Benjamin, you are a thinking with your heart and not your head. I understand your concerns. I have put a great deal of thought into this and I am ready to pursue it. But if you are going to let this chance to infiltrate the enemy pass by then you are a fool.” My anger had now turned into disappointment. I turned to leave but stopped and looked back at him. “I have made up my mind. When my father makes the announcement that we are returning to Philadelphia I will send word to you. But know this, I am going to spy against the British, with or without your approval.” I pushed open the flap with a smack. Brewster clumsily jumped up from his seat and I heard him call out something to me, but I kept walking. I began to feel tears welling up in my eyes. I pulled up the hood of my cloak to shield my face. I could not let anyone see me cry, not now.   
“Miss Kate, are you alright?” I heard Rachel say as I took Ellie’s reins from James and he helped me mount. Before Rachel and James could mount their horses I was already galloping down the road home tears streaming down my face.


	20. An Internal Dilemma

Her words cut into me fulfilling their purpose and just like that she was gone. Part of me believed that she would come back so I paused instead of going after her. The other half of me was screaming at me to follow, but I stood firm. It was only when I heard the commotion from outside that I realized that she was truly leaving.  Just as I burst out of the tent I could see Kate galloping away with her escort following at length behind her.  
            “Damn it!” I blurted out in frustration. While brushing back my hair I turned to see Caleb sitting on a bale of hay confused by what had just transpired.  
            “What the hell was that about?” He said as he rose and came towards me. I rubbed my neck in defeat. Kate’s words still rang in my ear. I had to admit that it was in theory a good proposal and she wasn’t wrong we needed eyes in Philadelphia. I had told her that I would keep this a secret, but this was serious and I needed advice on how to handle this.              
            “We need to talk.” I said seriously looking over at Caleb before going back inside my tent.  
            “I suppose that was more than just a simple lover’s quarrel then?” He said jokingly. I glanced at him unamused by is jest. I knew that by telling Caleb I would be breaking my word to Kate, but this was a serious matter and Caleb could be trusted. I decided to reverberate Kate’s story in detail.  
            “Katherine’s father is considering moving back to Philadelphia. Her uncle is doing business with the British quartermasters and has made an offer to her father to join in the endeavor.” Caleb didn’t seem to be moved by those revelations.  
            “Well, Ben consideration ain’t treason.” He said as he took a drink.

            “That’s not all. Kate has been persuading her father to accept his brother’s offer.” That stirred Brewster a bit. I hesitated before I revealed the last bit of information Katherine told me. I let out a deep sigh. “She’s made it her intention to spy for Washington when they return to the city.” Brewster then spat out his most recent deep drink of wine that sprayed out halfway across the room. Caleb let the thought sink in for a few moments before voicing his opinion on the matter.                    

            “Well, that explains a bit. What did’ya say to her when she told you?” I had been just as shocked as Brewster when Kate admitted her plan to me. She did not know that I was head of intelligence, yet she trusted me enough to confide in me her dangerous idea.

            “I told her that I would not permit her to become a spy for Washington that it was too dangerous. The thought of Katherine willingly and recklessly putting herself in harm’s way I couldn’t allow it.”   Caleb whistled loudly. “What?” I was confused by his response.

           “Judgin’ by her hasty departure I reckon she didn’t take it too well.” I nodded.  I was just concerned for her safety, as I always was for anyone I cared for, but this time was different. It was not my intention to hurt her, but I did. I could see that in her eyes as she left.

           “It’s best that you don’t let her join the ring. We got enough to deal with as it is.” Caleb was not wrong there. “Abe hasn’t signaled in over a month so we know that it ain’t safe.”  

              “Washington is growing impatient with the lack of intelligence coming out of Setauket. Perhaps, if I take more time to consider Katherine’s plan with Mr. Sackett maybe it can work.”   
            “Our line of work Ben ain’t safe for her and you know it. Maybe we can keep Woody and Anna safe in Setauket, but who’s to say how long we can keep that up.” I knew he was right.

            “I only wish that I had not hurt her so when I refused her.” That was my only regret from that exchange.   
            “Ah, don’t worry Benny Boy. She’ll come around when she realizes that you were right.” Caleb said as he slapped me on the back as he left the tent.  I didn’t feel reassured.   
            “Maybe I’m wrong not to consider Kate’s plan or at least to speak with Mr. Sackett about the matter.” _Was Kate right? Am I thinking with my heart and not my head?_ Caleb just rolled his eyes before standing and leaving in a huff.

Suddenly, a young corporal interrupted us. The young man seemed to be jittery as he entered. 

            “Major Tallmadge, Sir.” He said as he saluted. I hardly noticed him as I was distracted by Caleb’s comments about Katherine’s plan.

“What is it, Corporal?” I was both annoyed by this sudden interruption and concerned by this young man’s behavior. He shakily held what appeared to be a piece of paper in his hand.

             “I just thought you might want to see this, Sir. It’s been making its way around camp makin’ all kinds of attacks against the Commander, Sir.” The boy handed me a pamphlet titled _Thoughts of a Free Man_.

             “Thank you, Corporal. You may go.” I nodded in acknowledgement. The lad saluted before leaving the tent. I immediately opened the paper and read each nefarious insult that infuriated me more than the last. I knew I had to take this to Washington.

 I hastily left my tent and headed straight for the main headquarters to speak to Washington. I passed by various scene of men huddled around fires cooking whatever poor rations they had. Wagons clattered as they drove through camp. Men shouted as they entertained themselves with games of checkers and cards. The smells of smoke and filth filled the air. The autumn leaves that fell and withered on the ground rustled underfoot. I clutched the pamphlet with my right hand and held my saber still with my right. At last I came upon the headquarters and quickly ascended up the steps. I hurriedly strode into General Washington’s war room where he sat stoically at his desk as he studied his maps of the area. It was only after a few moments that he acknowledged my presence.  

             “Major Tallmadge, what news do you bring me from our Mr. Culpepper?” His inquiry after intelligence from Abe made me nervous. Washington still had trouble remembering the change to the alias he designed for Abraham.

             “It’s uh, Culper, Sir and no there has been no word from our man on Long Island.” I could tell that he was displeased so I took the opportunity to reveal to him the slanderous pamphlet. Hopefully, he will do something to put an end to the defamatory statements that are constantly made against him.  “But I have brought you this. _The Thoughts of a Free Man_ , a series of anonymous malicious attacks made against your leadership, Sir and it has been circulating through the camp.  It begins by laying the loss of Philadelphia at your feet and concludes with calling for your exile. It even compares you to the demon Ba’al.” I threw the pamphlet down on his desk and he just stared at it blankly. “There are rumors that General’s Lee and Gates have written to Congress asking for your removal as commander-in-chief.” I appeared to be more concerned about this than the Commander. He just simply sat there and narrowed his eyes slightly before speaking.

            “I ask for an intelligence report on the moments of the enemy and you come to me with rumor.”  I was confused by his words.   
            “Sir, as head of intelligence I see myself as your eyes and ears against all threats against your leadership.” Washington’s head tilted slightly as I finished speaking.   
            “Then what do you see and hear in Philadelphia?” I was struck and unnerved by his question.   
            ‘Sir, with the city having just been taken I have not had time to cultivate a sources there.” I spoke quickly to avoid any hesitation. He rose from his seat and met me eye-to-eye. It was not a lie I had no source in Philadelphia not yet anyway.   
            “You have had sufficient time to gather reports from New York and yet you bring nothing.” Washington ventured across the room to gaze out the window at the passersby. “The intelligence from our source on Long Island could prove critical should me move to retake it. I depend on you and Mr. Culper to enlighten us. I require a report on New York Harbor before we move camp. You shall engage Mr. Culper or you will recommend to me a new head of intelligence.” The frustration is his voice stirred a nerve within me.

            “Y-yes, Sir.” I stammered my words shaken by Washington’s warning. I bowed while Washington kept his back to me before leaving the room. If I don’t get word from Abe soon I could lose the prestigious post that Washington himself bestowed upon me. I had felt his disappointment growing as of late after I deliberately disobeyed his orders by going on a rescue mission to rescue my father and other patriots from the Tories in Setauket.

Kate was right when she said that Washington needed eyes in the capitol and soon. Maybe she right about everything. I could no longer avoid the idea of having Katherine become our agent in Philadelphia. I had to take the matter to Mr. Sackett in order to get his opinion and hopefully some advice.

I began combing the camp searching for Sackett when I heard a commotion coming from a clearing. A group a ragged militiamen and several native allies were gathered around Caleb tossing hatchets at barrels of beer. I rolled my eyes and smiled at the great cheer after the barrel took a perfect hit with Caleb sitting on it. If the hatchet were thrown any higher Caleb would have been left a eunuch.

           “I hope you put in the proper requests for these supplies.” I said as I slapped him on the back.

           “Nah, these are my gifts to the cause.” He splayed out his arms over the array of supplies.

           “Oh, I see the black market. Perhaps you might be itching to get into another trade, maybe going back to visit our old home town and visit and old friend?” I heavily suggested.

          “Nah, not tonight.” He said plainly.   
          “I’m afraid this isn’t a request Caleb it’s an order.” I insisted. Caleb just ignored me.

          “I think I’m done with those.” I was confused by his sudden change in mood from this morning. “Look here.” He said as he removed the cork from a small barrel. “Whale oil.” Caleb poured a small amount of the oil onto a piece of cloth. “A man can make a good profit of the backs of these Tories and bloody backs. I’m might just consider leaving the army and taking up with Congress and getting’ me a license to privateer. Where the only skin I’ll be riskin’ is my own.” Caleb lit the oil aflame the result was a stirring image of a burning hatchet only a foot away from my face.

          “Caleb, this is not my order this comes from Washington.” I was persistent in my attempt to persuade Caleb to make a trip to Setauket. Washington needed information now not later.

          ”Oh, well you can just tell Washington that you are just ‘following protocol.” Caleb’s sardonic tone was clear. I leant away from the flame as it came closer to my face. “You see Abe only signals when it’s safe and he ain’t signaling too much so it ain’t safe.”

          “Caleb, listen to me.” I said. He threw the flaming hatchet and it struck a nearby tree.

          “I am listening, Ben. Now, I’m listening to reason, like I should have done when you ordered to let Simcoe live when I should have put my hatchet in his head.” Caleb growled. His mood then changed.  “But I didn’t and he survived long enough to kill my uncle. Now, that’s on me. If you want to get Abe or Kate killed that’s on you.” His words stung. We parted ways without a word. Had I angered him that much because I wanted to do what I had been assigned by Washington to do? His anger was reasonable, but unless we get information from Abe I’ll be replaced as head of intelligence. I needed to know what the hell was going on in Setauket. There was also the matter of Kate’s offer to spy when she and her family returned to Philadelphia. It was a necessity that I find Mr. Sackett and that he would provide some crucial wisdom concerning my dilemma with Kate’s plan.  The first place I thought to look was his tent which was exactly where I found him. 

             “Mr. Sackett?” I said as I entered the room. Nathaniel was scrambling about with a handful of documents in his hands. He hardly gazed up when I entered.   
            “As yes, come in my boy. I’ll be with you in a moment.” He ventured into his covered wagon. The room was filled with the scent of chemicals, books, burnt candles, and ink.

            "Sir, this is a rather urgent matter that I need to discuss with you. ” Pots and pans clanged form within as Sackett moved around within.

            “What is it? Has something happened to our Mr. Culper?” He was troubled by the thought.

            “Uh, no. Not that I know of. Culper still hasn’t signaled which could only mean that it is not safe to make contact.” It was distressing knowing that we are cut off from our only agent.  Sackett nodded as he looked off into the distance.   
            “Something else is troubling you, Tallmadge.” Many things were troubling me at the moment Kate’s plan, Washington’s disappointment and his lack of concern over his detractors, and the silence coming from Setauket. I had to explain it all one at a time.   
            “Yes, a great deal of things distress me. First, Washington is blinded to his enemies. This afternoon I brought him a defaming pamphlet that has been circulating around camp and he ignores the attacks made against him. Horatio Gates and Charles Lee are vying for his commander yet he does nothing.” Sackett just sat there staring at me over his spectacles and smirked.  
            “Well, our commander does work in mysterious ways.” He teases. I scoffed at his comment. “There is something else isn’t there.” I looked away the thought of making Kate our agent in Philadelphia hovered like a dark cloud.  I nodded in response. Sackett waited on baited breath for me to come out with it already.  I breathed in deeply then sighed.   
            “Washington has been asking about gathering intelligence in Philadelphia. I have told him that we do not yet have a source. However, there have been recent developments upon the subject. A young lady that I have recently become acquainted with has informed me that her father is highly likely going to move the family back to the capitol.”   
            “This young lady is she the one Brewster’s told me about? The one whom you have grown rather ‘fond’ of.” Sackett smirked cheekily. Damn Brewster and his blathering!   
            “Yes, she is. Miss Katherine Allen.” I admitted to him. “She comes from a wealthy merchant family. Her uncle has just begun doing business with the British and has made an offer to Kate’s father to join him in the venture. Kate is determined to offer herself as an agent for General Washington.”   
            “Does this young lady have a plan for when she enters the city? How does she intend to pass through intelligence?” He became excited by the thought of it all suddenly he scrambled for paper, quill, and ink.  I grimaced. “What?”   
            “I did not gather all of the details of her plan.” I felt the same embarrassment that I had the night I first met Mr. Sackett when he asked which inscription method I used to code Abe’s letters.   
            “Why not?” He blurted out aghast. “Do you think her incapable?” I thought the idea of Kate being incompetent absurd. She has proven herself on multiple occasions.   
            “No, I believe her to be more than able. She has an incredible wit and is overtly charming.” I insisted to him. Sackett raised an eyebrow and smirked thinly.

            “I see. Then why do you need my counsel if you think so highly of this young lady’s ‘mind’ and her other . . .  virtues?” He inquired with a tone of mischief. 

            “I have already told her that it was too dangerous and wasn’t going to risk her life.” Sackett’s expression was of awe in light of my lack of judgement.  His eyes rolled back in frustration.  
            “Oh, Lord save me from the foolishness of young men. You rejected the lady’s plan without even hearing the specific details.” He rose from his chair. “Perhaps one day Tallmadge you will begin thinking with that supposed brilliant head on your shoulders instead of your sentiments.” He scolded me in the same way Kate had early. I grinned at the similarity.   
            “She said the very same thing just before she left this afternoon.” I looked over at him. Sackett gave a short nod of the head.   
            “Well, then she _is_ quite the bright young lady. I would very much like to meet with her and soon before she leaves for the capitol. There are many things which need to be discussed and planned out.” There he went plotting again.   
            “Uh, I’m not sure that will be possible. She is quite angry with me at the moment.”   
            “If she is as persistent in this pursuit as you say she will not refuse. Although, you should perhaps send Mr. Brewster after her instead. So that you might avoid any . . . confrontation with the lady.” I grimaced when he suggested that I ask Caleb to bring Kate here. Neither of them are pleased with me at present. I didn’t tell him about Caleb. I merely nodded in response. I suppose now it was set in motion. Kate would be our agent in Philadelphia, but I was not pleased about it. I was still concerned for her safety and how she would communicate with us so deep behind the enemy lines. Perhaps if I had not neglected my duties and actually listened to Kate she would have reassured me. Yet, I had been so stubborn and protective that I failed in my responsibilities as head of intelligence. However, I have been doubting my place here. Sackett has Washington’s trust and confidence. He has created this web with my childhood friends that I am somehow a part of.  Was I merely a pawn or was I a player in this game of chess called espionage? 


	21. A Plan Revealed

 

 

            I did not know whether it was the dust Ellie disturbed under her hooves or the quarrel between Benjamin and me, but my eyes stung with tears. My breathing was heavy and fast matching Ellie’s as we galloped down the road. The trees appeared nothing more than apparitions as we galloped past. The wind blew furiously against my skin whipping loose strands of hair into my face. I wiped away the tears with the back of my hand.  The tears came from a combination of frustration and injured pride. _Was is so impossible for Ben to understand that I have a duty to this cause as well?_ I could only playback the painful words we exchanged over and over in my mind.  I was angry with Benjamin, but was it justified? _Was it unreasonable that he would be concerned for my safety?_  I thought he would have seen reason and understood that I would have been perfectly safe. _Was he refusing my offer for my own protection or was he just being stubborn?_

            I arrived back at home. Thankfully Father and the girls had not made it back from town.  I required no assistance off of my mount because a rush of vitality that came from riding in such a fury eased the effort. I brushed my hair back out of my eyes and tied Ellie to a post near the stables so that James could unsaddle her for me. I stormed across the yard and up the porch steps just as Rachel and James rode up.   I could hear Rachel call out to me but I ignored her. So many thoughts were rushing through my mind and I couldn’t control them. I needed something to take my attention away from this if only for a few minutes. I pulled off my cloak and gloves and threw them on a nearby chair. I escaped to the only place where I knew I would be left alone to think, the library. Then I remembered I still had my muddy riding boots on so I sat down in my window seat and struggled to pull them off. Once I had them off I tossed them aside.

A book or pamphlet would take my mind off of the situation of awhile. I walked from one end of the bookshelves to the other. Combing through the pamphlets on one particular shelf I pulled out one of my more recent favorites, _Common Sense_. This was the spark that ignited the flame of the populous towards the idea of liberty. Up until the point _Common Sense_ was published the war had been isolated to the colony of Massachusetts. After, the people at last saw that we must look to each other to secure our own liberty. I practically had the pamphlet memorized after reading it so many times. My eyes reexamined every word on each page until one quotation stood out to me. “A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason.” The words spoke to me in my moment of internal conflict. I laid the pamphlet in my lap and pondered Paine’s words. _But who is wrong and who is right? Benjamin or me? Am I in the wrong here?_ I thought to myself.  Only time will stir the thought towards the correct answer, but I did not know how much time I had. I expected that Father would make the announcement that evening at dinner.  

            At that moment, I could hear the clattering wheels of our family carriage as it drove up to the house. I felt a sense of urgency as I sat up and quickly moved to hide my muddy riding boots. Before Father, Anne, and Bess could make their way inside I rushed into the parlor to put away my cloak, gloves, and boots in order to remove any suspicions that I had left the house. Anne and Bess burst in the door chattering and giggling away. Rachel took their cloaks and hats from them. Father slowly followed behind them.  
            “Did you enjoy your outing, Father?” I asked as I dutifully took his hat and coat.  
            “Oh, it was quite uneventful, my dear. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. Although, it was rather odd seeing Doctor Winthrop out and about.”  
            “Really?” I was surprised by this revelation. “Do you think the doctor has overcome his melancholia?” If Winthrop has recovered he could begin visiting his old patients again. That way the town would no longer require my services.  Rachel took father’s hat and coat from me after she had hung up the girls’.  
            “I do not know. He did not seem to be in poor spirits, however such things a hardly ever visible.” He told me. I nodded in reply. Melancholia is a grave illness of the mind. A terrible thing to suffer from.  
            “Perhaps he may now give up his drinking and see to his patients.” It was not that I disliked the work I was doing only that Winthrop needed to take up the responsibilities of his profession. If we are to return to Philadelphia I would have to abandon my work as a midwife and physician at least until the cause no longer requires my service.  
            “I hope so my dear only so that you need not bear the burden of doing so any longer.” Father spoke reassuringly as his placed his hands on my shoulders. “That reminds me. I have an announcement to make at dinner and I hope that you and your sisters will be pleased to hear it.”  Father smiled and turned reaching for his pipe and newspaper. That was it. I had done it. Philadelphia was all but certain now. A sense of victory swelled inside my chest. I wanted to ride back to the continental camp at once and tell Ben, but the fresh memories of our quarrel stopped me. The more I thought about it the worse I felt.

That afternoon I sat in the parlor and listened while Anna and Bess practiced their music lessons. Father sat nearby smoking his pipe while he read the latest edition of the _Pennsylvania Evening Post_. I decided to write to Charlotte and tell her about these recent events. So much has happened I have not had time to write to her in nearly two weeks. I knew I had to be discreet in my wording in order to avoid implicating Charlotte in my scheme.

_My Dearest Charlotte,_

_I pray that you and your young son are in good health as well as your husband. These dark days are a shadow over us all.  This growing conflict having now reached our very doorstep I fear will only grow more hostile to the civilian population. Father, Anne, Bess are well and soon to be in high spirits for I expect us to be returning to Philadelphia before long. I do hope to see you again soon for it has been too long since our last meeting. There is other news that I would like to share with you. A young gentleman has come into my life and I firmly believe that I want him to remain so. He is tall and handsome though you know I would never wholly respect a man if those were his only virtues._ _Benjamin is a man of intelligence and compassion.  When we converse I feel as if we are equals and are completely immersed in each other’s thoughts. I have never felt such happiness as I have in the past two weeks. It is quite surprising I must admit. I do hope to receive your reply at most haste. I am very much looking forward to hearing from you._

_Your Affectionate Friend,_

_Katherine Allen_

Tears welled up in my eyes as I wrote to Charlotte about Ben. If I could not fully confide in Charlotte the reason for the quarrel nor the reason why I am so happy to return to Philadelphia who could I tell? My sisters were not an option they would gossip to anyone they pleased. Father could never know the truth. He did not even know about me sneaking off to Brandywine and the Continental Camp to aid the wounded men. If I divulged my secrets to someone I would be putting them in grave danger. _No one can know._ I told myself.  The only way to keep my family safe was to keep them in the dark. I folded the parchment and sealed it.  
            Once it reached the early evening hours I went upstairs to dress for dinner. I was certain that Father would make his announcement then. I chose my green damask frock just as Rachel came in to help me dress. There was a sense of awkwardness between us as she tightened my stay. After the events of earlier today I’m sure Rachel wanted to ask about me. I did not want to speak in the hopes of avoid the subject entirely. She however would not allow the matter be swept under the rug.

“Miss Kate? Are you alright? You seemed so upset this morning after well you know.” Rachel spoke with such concern for me that I felt guilty about remaining silent. I contemplated my thoughts for a few moments. I was not sure how much I wanted to tell her. I started to let my hair down so that I could tame it with some ointment and brush it a little. The brown waves fell delicately onto my shoulders and down my back.

“I’m fine Rachel. It was nothing just a small disagreement between Major Tallmadge and I.” I spoke softly as I brushed through small sections. It was obvious that my answer did not satisfy her. From the corner of my eye I could see her raise a suspicious eyebrow at me.

“From the sound of it you and the Major had quite the squabble.” When she said that the emotions came flooding back. It was a combination of frustration, sadness, and affection all at once.  
            “How much did you hear?” I looked back at her, but she did not glance up at me. _Did she and James overhear my plan?_ The thought alarmed me.

“Not much, just you two arguing rather loudly. It was all rather muddled.” Her tone was plain. I was relieved that she hadn’t heard the reason for the argument. It became clear to me that I had to lie to Rachel about the reason for the quarrel. So I cooked one up out of half-truths.  
            “I told him about Father’s business arrangement with my uncle in Philadelphia. Ben became rather cross and that was when it began.” I was reluctant to conjure this lie. I thought about how many more I would have to create in the weeks to come.

“Well, most pairs have arguments, Miss. They usually happen over nothing and neither side is usually in the right.” Rachel words forced me to think about what had transpired earlier that day. I started to reexamine everything that had happened.

_I’m sure it was not Ben’s intention to wound me so. Nor did I want to insult him._ Our jabs at each other repeated in my mind again and again. _Perhaps Rachel was right? What if no one was wrong? Maybe we were both making a decent arguments, but failed to articulate them properly. I stubbornly opposed his refusal and he failed to see the logic behind me becoming a spy._ I realized then that there was no one correct answer. I wanted to do my duty to the cause and Ben wanted to protect me from the dangers of doing so. Possibly if I had not been so willful I would have stayed and explained the entirety of my plan to him. I felt like such a fool and Ben possibly he felt the same. The revelation soothed my troubled mind temporarily. ”It is hardly anything to worry about, Miss.”  
            “I know, Rachel. It’s only that I feel so foolish for being so cross with him.” I admitted that much to her.  
            “I bet he feel just the same. Though he should be the gentleman and come apologize.” She winked at me mischievously. “Your Father seems to be in good spirits. Is it because of the new business arrangement with your uncle?”  
            “Yes, I should think so. I think everyone is going to be rather pleased. Father is going to tell them all tonight.” I hesitated. “But I suppose I’ll tell you now.” I paused. “We are going back to Philadelphia.” Rachel tightened the laces sharply shocked by what I had just told her. Her face was twisted in confusion and surprise. She could hardly believe it. “It’s true. Uncle is in business with the British quartermasters and has asked Father to join him.” Rachel shook her head slightly still perplexed.

“But, Mr. Allen’s a patriot is he not?” Rachel said baffled. You could say Father was believed in the cause, but he was more loyal to family.  
            “Father’s a businessman as is my uncle. This venture could bring in a great profit and I did not think Father should let this opportunity pass him by. That is why I persuaded him to accept his brother’s offer.”  
            “So when you told Major Tallmadge that you might be leavin’ for Philadelphia he started questioning you family’s loyalty.” Rachel assumed that was what had happened and I had to allow her to keep her presumption. It was the only way I could preserve my story.  
            “Yes.” I falsely admitted. “I tried to tell him that he was being utterly foolish and that my family’s true allegiance would never waiver, but he wouldn’t listen.” The melancholy character I managed to convey hooked Rachel in.  
            “Why didn’t you say that in the first place?  The Major clearly overstepped. He should be the one to feel like the fool, Miss, not you.” Rachel had been riled up by the falsity. The guilt came flooding back. I just smiled and nodded just as the clock struck six o’clock. I quickly finished getting dressed and hastily pinned my hair up.  

Coming down the stairs I could see Anne and Bess chattering away about something. Their excitement overflowing. Bess could hardly contain herself as she bounced up and down giggling.  
            “Well, what’s got you two in such a cheerful mood?” I raised an eyebrow slightly amused by the tomfoolery. Bess began dancing around the foyer as if she was a wood nymph. I rolled my eyes and grinned shaking my head as she frolicked about the room.  
            “Father’s making an announcement tonight and Bess thinks were are finally going back home to the city.” Anne informed me.  I laughed a sigh. _Perhaps Bess wasn’t as much of a fool as I thought_ , I told myself. I was surprised that she came to correct conclusion.  “Do you know what going on, Kate?” Anne inquired.  
            “I haven’t the slightest idea.” I lied again shrugged my shoulders and pretended I was just as aloof as Anne was.  Father finally came down stairs and took us into dinner.

The four of up sat down and we served that evenings supper. The room was relatively silent with the exception of Father occasionally breaking the silence.

“So Kate how did you spend your afternoon?” He inquired taking a sip of wine.

“It was rather uneventful so I spent most of my time in the library.” I looked up from my pate and told him. It was partial truth so I did not feel a guilty.

“Ugh! You’re always in that stuffy room. You’ll never get a husband with your nose stuck in a book.” Bess said contemptuously. I wanted to reach over Anne and smack her, but I held my composure. I instead went for a more subtle approach.

“Perhaps you would find a husband as well of you weren’t such an insufferable wretch.” I snapped back at her. Bess recoiled from my bard. I knew that I had hit my mark.  
            “Kate!” Father was surprised and disappointed by my outburst although with the way Bess constantly behaved he should have expected something much worse from me.  
            “Well, it’s true.” I mumbled as it took a sip of wine. Bess slumped back in her chair and pouted like a small child. I rolled my eyes and went back to eating my supper of boiled potatoes, carrots cabbage, and mutton. The room was silent for the rest of the meal. My anticipation grew as we waited for Father to interrupt the meal with his announcement. I fiddled with the napkin in my lap as the tension built up inside me. The ambient noise of clinking glasses and silverware only made my anxiety worse. Suddenly there was a uniform tapping of a knife against a glass. The three of us all looked over towards Fathers simultaneously. He cleared his throat before rising from his chair.  
            “Well, I have been meaning to make you all aware of this since it first came to my attention. Your uncle has made an offer to me to join him back in Philadelphia.” Bess squealed with excitement. I rolled my eyes at her reaction.  
            “Please, continue Father.” I said half annoyed by Bess’ interruption.  
            “Yes, thank you. You see your uncle has made many new friends since the British took the city. General Clinton just so happens to be one of them. Business arrangements are being made and my brother has asked me to join him. I had been reluctant to do so, but I have sought guidance and I am now firmly convinced that such a venture will be good for our family.”  
            “So we are going back home to Philadelphia?” Anne queried clearly perplexed.

“Yes, we are. I have already begun making arrangements and we should be leaving in a week. ” Father sighed in admittance.  Bess was practically jumping for joy. Anne was contented by the news. I silently slumped back in my chair my eyes closed and sighed in relief.” Kate, are you happy with my decision?” I rose from my seat and went over and kissed him on the cheek.  
            “I am, Father. I would have supported whatever conclusion you came to.” I smiled at him. Supper ended on a high note for everyone in the house. I retired to my room and laid down on my bed. Everything had fallen into place. Now all I needed to do was go back to Ben and try again to convince him of my plan. Despite what I had told him I knew that I could not become a spy without him _. I need to go back to the camp._ _Propriety be damned! I’m going . . . tonight!_

A silence had fallen over the entire household now that everyone was turning in for the night. Every once in a while I could hear Anna and Bess giggling in their room. They were likely gossiping about what scandals they missed over the summer months. I knew Rachel would be here any moment to help me change out of my dress. I had to act quickly before anyone noticed me leave. Going over to my desk I quickly scratched a note to Rachel letting her know that I would be back before anyone could awake for second sleep. I left the letter on my bed for her to find and opened my door checking to make sure that I could make a swift escape.  
            I slowly crept out of the doorway and down the hall toward the stairs. My path appeared to be clear so I quietly made my way down. When I reached the bottom steps I could hear Tildy and Jonas conversing in the dining room as they cleared the table. I pressed my body against the wall and tried to keep out of sight until they went into the kitchen.  
            “I don’ know why Mr. Allen would be wantin’ to be a part of any business with them redcoats. “ I overheard Jonas say.  
            “Well, that ain’t none of our business. Though I’m more surprised Miss Kate didn’ fight him tooth and nail to stay here. She’s been so happy in the past weeks. It just seems so strange that she’d be alright with leavin’ ‘specially after meetin’ that young man she fancies so much.” Tildy replied. I smirked to myself blushing at the thought of the servants gossiping about Major Tallmadge and me. I heard someone push open the swaying door to the kitchen. I glanced around the corner and saw that the room was empty. I strode across the foyer and grabbed my cloak before quickly and quietly headed out the door.

The moon was my only source of light as I hastily crossed the yard to the stables. I pulled my cloak in closer because the night had grown cold. I knew that Jonas was asleep in his quarters. I could saddle Ellie myself.  It took longer that way, but at least I wouldn’t be discovered. Once I had Ellie saddled I led her out of the stable and mounted. Ellie snorted a bit, but that was all the noise she made. I gave a gentle kick and we trotted down the road. When we were out of sight off the house I sped Ellie up to a gallop.

 Moonlight seeped through the bare tree tops which looks like the skeletal fingers reaching out of the forest. The dead leaves scratched against the dry earth as the wind blew. _Perhaps I’m being rash?_ _Maybe I should wait?_ I slowed Ellie down back to a trot. I’ve continuously tried to dissuade myself from what I wanted.  It was a habit that arose from always being told what was appropriate and what was not. For years, I was taught to be the example as the eldest daughter to a rich family. I was always held to a higher standard. When I at last had a chance to break free from that I recoiled and doubted myself. _To Hell with it._ I kicked Ellie a little harder and she returned to a gallop.

I could see torchlight up ahead of me so I slowed down to a cantor. There were to guards keeping watch over an entrance to the encampment. In the darkness they could not see me, but they did hear my approach.  
            “Halt! Who’s there?” One of the young privates commanded as he held up his musket. I came up to them and let down my hood. One guard was rather short in stature compared to the other. That was the only distinction I could make in the dark.  
            “I beg your pardon gentleman, but I have an urgent message for Major Benjamin Tallmadge.” I tried my hand at acting the part of a courier. It was uncertain whether it would work.  
            “What business do you have for the Major?” The other on blurted out harshly. I maintained my poise keeping up the appearance that I was meant to be there. I remembered a piece of advice my aunt Augusta once told me. _If you appear as if you belong there then you do._ _No one will dare say otherwise._    
            “I am afraid that matter is confidential and for his ears alone.” They glanced at each other and whispered so I could not hear them. I felt uneasy about whether or not they would let me pass. After a long deliberation, the two guards turned back to me.  
            “I’m afraid we cannot let you pass, Miss. Not without proper clearance.” The taller one informed me. Suddenly from out of the shadows I heard a familiar voice.  
            “It’s alright boys, I know the lass. Major Tallmadge has been expecting her.” Caleb Brewster was rather intimidating with his burly and unkempt appearance. The guards never questioned him. I gave Brewster a grateful smirk and dismounted. Caleb led me into the gate.  
            “Thank you, Caleb.” I was relieved that he showed up when he did.   
            “Ah, it’s no trouble. It’s rather quite the coincidence. Mr. Sackett asked me to go find you and bring you here. He and Ben had a chat not long after you left. You two had quite the lover’s quarrel didn’t y?” Caleb smirked. I rolled my eyes at Brewster’s jest.

 “I suppose Ben told you why I came here then.” I grinned.  
            “Yeah and it’s a daft idea. A right and proper lass such as yerself shouldn’t be getting’ mixed up in that sort of work. Besides Ben’s got enough to worry about as it is.”  
            “Well, Caleb. I’m not exactly proper nor do I care to be. I have thought about this for a long while now and I’m well aware of the risks involved. I have a plan, not that Ben listened to it, that lays out my strategy for gathering intelligence and how I will be safe. That’s why I’ve come back. I want to go speak to Mr. Sackett and explain my plan fully.”  I did not shy away from my intent. Brewster went silent as he processed everything I told him.

“I’m glad you came back here saves me the trouble of going after you myself. Ben’s been acting quite the jackass ever since you left.” He spoke as he casually took Ellie’s reins from me and led her as we walked further into the camp. The forthrightness of his words was surprising.  
            “How so?” I was puzzled by the idea of those two having some sort of dispute. My brow furled as I looked over at him.  
            “Ah, well he’s just not thinking with his head. I told keeping you out of this was for the best and at first he agreed. But then he started too question himself and began wondering if you was right and he was wrong.” I was stunned. A wide smirked crept across my face. Ben had contradicted himself as well. “There are others who collect intelligence for Washington. One’s a friend of ours.”  
            “And you’re worried about putting more people in danger.” I interrupted. Caleb glanced over and nodded. “Whatever disagreements you and Ben may have you are still friends. I’m sure it will be alright in the end. You both have lost someone close to you and the wounds are still very fresh. It’s understandable that you would want to prevent something like that from happening again. However, there are certain things we cannot avoid. We all must make peace within ourselves and mend.” I attempted to give Caleb some wholehearted advice.  
            “I’ll make peace as soon as the bastard who murdered my uncle has a hatchet in his head.” Caleb growled.  
            “I suppose that is one way to do it even though you may be killed in the process.” That brought him down a peg. “Where would that leave your friends? In the same spot where you are now. I recommend you make your peace with Ben before moving forward.” Caleb looked away from me and contemplated what I said for a moment. His brow furled and his mouth pursed.  
            “Well, I suppose when you put it like that.” He glanced back at me. I smiled triumphantly. Suddenly, we heard a commotion coming from a nearby fire pit. As we crossed a clearing in the camp Caleb and I came upon group a men were openly brawling in the middle of the camp just in sight of Washington’s headquarters. It seemed rather ridiculous to me at the time that this would occur however when a man’s pride is agitated those situations do arise.

“Does this happen often?” I enquired slightly amused by the scene. We watched as three of the agitators threw the fourth on the ground and began pummeling him. I squinted my eyes, but it was still difficult to identify them in the dark.

“Ay, sometimes feathers get a little ruffled.” He paused a moment as if he recognized one of the brawlers. “Wait here.” He ordered. Before I could stop him Brewster was stomping across the field and towards the scene of the scuffle. I instinctively followed behind him. I chose to stay hidden behind a nearby tree and watch.  I could not hear the words exchanged, but suddenly Caleb punched the soldier who was beating the one on the ground. The victim of the abuse stood and fought off the others with Caleb and then I realized it was Ben. I sighed in relief when the defeated combatants walked away.  The fray was over as swiftly as it began. I couldn’t hear these words Ben and Caleb first exchanged so I moved closer in order to eavesdrop.

“Are you alright?” I heard Caleb asked Ben. Ben let out a short chuckled breath

“Yeah, it’s just a scratch.” Ben sighed. The long pause told me that that wasn’t what Caleb as asking him about.  
            “But are you alright though?” He questioned him again.  
            “You know I really wish I go and ask that of Washington. ‘Are you alright, sir?’ I can’t for the life of me understand why he will not stand up and defend himself to his detractors.” Ben frustration leaked through his words. Caleb’s mood had changed drastically from before. He seemed to be more considerate and understanding.  
            “Well, you know how these officer types are.  Always under pressure shouldering burdens we foot soldiers can’t see. Maybe we should give him some slack.” Caleb spoke earnestly. Something in his words told me that Caleb was apologizing in his own way. Also, that he was not just talking about Washington, but Ben as well. Perhaps their quarrel had been mended in that moment. I watched hidden behind the birch tree as Caleb clapped ben on the shoulder. “Come on, I got a surprise for ya that will take the sting off that.” He said pointing at his face. I knew immediately that Brewster was talking about me. Panicking, I withdrew behind the tree. I was afraid to face him again.  I wasn’t certain about the mood Ben would be in when we faced each other again. _Perhaps he is still cross with me._   When they grew closer to my hiding place I closed my eyes. As if that would have made me disappear. Ellie snorted loudly giving away our position.

“What are you doing behind there?” Caleb enquired with a raised eyebrow.  
            “Thanks.” I grumbled at the horse.

“Caleb, who are you talking to? What surprise?” Ben spoke as he came around behind Caleb. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves, sighed, and came out from behind the tree. I let down my hood so Ben could see me in the dark.

“Hello, Ben.” I spoke softly and thinly smiled. I looked up into his eyes waited on baited breath for him to say something, anything at all really. Nothing escaped Ben’s lips, but a smile. That was a great relief to me, but we still said nothing. I felt like Caleb was becoming more annoyed as he looked back and forth between us.

“Christ, will you two just say something?” His outburst broke our locked gaze. I struggled to find the words and so did Ben. At last we came out with it.

“Ben, I am sorry.”

“Katherine, I am so sorry.” We blurted out our apologies simultaneously. Then we broke out into laughter. When the laughing stopped we reverted back to our silent gazes and smiles. Caleb nudged Ben’s shoulder hard to get him to snap out of his ogling. “Ow! Caleb, what the hell?” Ben recoiled rubbing his arm.

“Well, we ain’t got all night Tall-boy. The lady here’s got to be getting home before her old man finds out she’s gone.” Their words back and forth made me giggle.  Ben realized and was embarrassed by his behavior.

“Katherine, what are you doing here?” He was spoke through a smile still surprised by the fact that I was there. Come to tell you the truth so was I. I fiddled with the ends of my sleeves as I started to answer.

“Well, I did tell you that I would send word when my Father decided we were going back to Philadelphia.” His eyes narrowed we I finished. “But, I also am to apologize for this afternoon. I’m afraid I may have been too belligerent in my response to your refusal.” Ben shook his head stepped closer to me as he reached out and took my hands in his. My heart started beating faster.  

“No, I should be the one to apologize. I ought to have listened to your entire plan instead of writing it off immediately as too dangerous. It was because I wanted to protect you.” He grinned from the corner of his mouth in his usual way. I could feel the blood rise into my cheeks.

“I know that.” I smiled softly as I looked down away from his eyes. We smiled at each other again. Before we could prolong our gazes I spoke up once again. “I’m also here to speak to Mr. Sackett. I wish to tell him about my plan as well. In full detail.”

“Alright.” Ben nodded. “I’ll take you there.”  With his arm outstretched he guided the way towards Mr. Sackett’s tent.

As we made our way across the camp Caleb led Ellie along behind Ben and I. The sights, sounds, and smells of the camp seemed more alive during the night.  Now and again a chorus of laughter would erupt from a group of men huddled around a fire. The negativity and harshness still lingered in many of the faces of the men we passed. We at last reached a rather large enclosed tent that jutted out from a covered wagon. Ben opened the flap and gestured for me to step through.

A short stout man in a brown waistcoat and breeches sat at a long table assiduously scribbling. The room was filled with the scent of burning candlewax, ink, and parchment. Mr. Sackett did not look up from his quill when we entered the room.

“Um, Mr. Sackett sir?” said Ben. The gentleman either paid Ben no mind or he could not hear him. I looked up at Ben and him down at me. “Mr. Sackett?” he tried again. It was rather laughable at the time. It was only when Ben loudly cleared his throat did the gentleman look up.

“Oh, Major Tallmadge? What are you doing here at this ungodly hour?” I could see the man possible in his fifties, he had brown hair that had the early signs of grey upon it. He also wore spectacles, no doubt as a result from working diligently in such poorly lit spaces.  He to a certain extent reminded me of Mr. Benjamin Franklin who was a frequent guest at my father’s house while the Continental Congress met in Philadelphia.

“I know it is late sir, but I have someone here that I believe you wished to speak with.” Ben said as he looked down and gestured to me. “This is Miss Katherine Allen the young lady I mentioned to you earlier today.” Ben seemed nervous, but I did not know why. Sackett rose from his seat rather enthusiastically.

“Ah, yes! Our lovely young lady from Philadelphia! Major Tallmadge has told me quite a bit about you. Nathaniel Sackett.” He introduced himself looking over his bifocals. I smirked at his mischievous tone. Sackett offered his hand and I took it while I curtsied. Sacket was only slightly taller than I was.  “It is such a pleasure to meet you my dear. Come, come sit down.” He waved me over and pulled out his former seat. Sackett brought over another chair and placed it across from me. “Now, I do believe I know the reason why you are here so why don’t we just get on with it?” He reached over and grabbed his quill, in, and blank parchment.

“Oh, yes of course. Although I do not know exactly what Major Tallmadge has told you?” I needed some clarification so that I might know what he knows. That way I could be more precise and thorough in my explanation.

“Well, he mentioned that your uncle has made an offer to your father to join him in a deal with the British.” I nodded when he stopped. “And also that you have offered your services as an agent when your family returns to the city. Am I correct?” He gazed intensely over the top of his spectacles as he spoke.

“Yes, sir.”

“Surely you have a more detailed plan for when you return. How do you intended to relay intelligence? What means do you have to keep our couriers as well as yourself safe, Miss Allen?” Sackett interrogated me thoroughly. I kept my composure.

“Well sir, there are many loyal patriots still left in the city that would be willing to help me secure intelligence. I have studied several encryption methods that would disguise the messages. My favorite being a book cipher it is a very simple method, but is difficult to decode without the proper key.” Sackett scratched down notes as I spoke. I glanced over at Ben who was standing on the other side of the table. He nodded slightly encouraging me to keep going. I took in a nervous breath and continued.  “As for maintaining my safety Mr. Sackett my family is very well respected in the city and being a woman also garners its advantages. Most will look at me and see only the eldest daughter of a prominent loyalist family nothing more. As a member of the presumed weaker sex, I could think of no better task for me than to become an agent for General Washington.” I paused for Sackett’s criticism, but the room was silent. I watched Sackett expression change for intense to sly. A deep smirk crept to one side of his mouth then a smile grew from it.

“What about these friends you say that would be willing to assist us in this endeavor? Who are they?”

“Well, there is Mr. Johnston, a silversmith. He has known me for my entire childhood and he is loyal to the cause. He can be persuaded to help. Martha Creedy, a milliner and tailor’s wife. She is also a potential ally.” Suddenly, Ben spoke up.  
            “Abigail is also in Philadelphia.” I was confused. _Who was this Abigail?_   Ben looked at me. “A servant in the household of Major John Andre, head of British intelligence.” The information was very clarifying.  
            “Yes, she could be quite useful to us as well. Is there any way you can contact her without incriminating yourself?” Sackett looked back at me.

“I’m sure I can find a way.” I nodded.

“Well, there are some details we can work through, but my dear your plan is quite the deceitful one. I am impressed.” He spoke earnestly. I smiled. “But are you certain you can keep such a secret form your family?” Sackett’s eyebrow crooked upward.

“I have many secrets that I keep from my family. This would only be one more to keep.” I told him in all honesty.  
            “Yes, I do believe you will be quite successful. Of course, this will need the approval of General Washington before we can move forward.” He rose from his seat as did I. “However, I doubt he will object after he meets with us all. Until then my dear I believe you should be returning home before your family realizes you are gone. I’m sure Major Tallmadge will be more than willing to escort you.” He looked over at Ben and grinned mischievously. I grinned to myself while Sackett pushed his way passed Ben and Caleb as he made his way to Washington’s headquarters. We all followed Sackett out of the tent.

“I do suppose I should be getting back. It was good to see you again, Caleb.” Brewster nodded before giving Ben a sly grin. I turned to Ben. “Major would you be so kind as to escort me home?” I smirked repeating Sackett’s suggestion.  
             “It would be my pleasure to escort you home.” He smiled down at me. Ben called over a young officer and told him to bring him his horse. A few minutes later the boy returned with Ben’s mount. I untied Ellie’s reins from the post and Ben offered his hand to help me mount the horse, assistance I was happy to take. Before long we were riding out of the camp and down the road back to my home.  
            “So, Major do you approve of my plan now that you’ve heard it in full?” I inquired of him.

            “Before I had been quite skeptical, but now I have no doubt that you have a thorough plan to gather intelligence. Although you will need to familiarize yourself with the encryption methods Sackett and I have come up with.  I can provide you a copy of our codebook before you leave.” I nodded while Ben spoke with an instructor’s voice. “These people you say that could be willing to help you I am not certain you should involve them.”  His mistrust of my possible allies was understandable.  
            “You think they would turn against me?”  
            “Yes, that is a possibility and you would also put them at risk. It would better to use Abigail to pass intelligence to us.”  
            “If you feel that s best then I will do as you ask.” I wasn’t going to question him. Not tonight I was growing rather tired.

            We at last came up to the house. There weren’t any candles lit that I could see so we continued on past the house and made our way to the barn. Ben got down from his horse and helped me dismount. When his hands gently grasped at my waist I used his shoulder to keep my balance. Our eyes were locked and I dare not look away. When my feet reached the ground I could help but shiver. Our bodies were so close that I could feel the warmth radiating off of him. His hands still remained at my waist and mine had slid down just above his chest. My heart beat faster and my breathing trembled. I blushed and coyly shied away from Ben’s gaze.

             “Katherine?” Every time he said my name my heart stopped for a moment. “I have faith in your plan. There is no doubt in my mind that you are more than capable of infiltrating the loyalist high society.” I felt that he was trying to say something else but he couldn’t find the words.

            “What is it, Ben?” I asked almost begging for him to kiss me. When I said he name he smiled. That only made me more flushed.   
            “Katherine, this morning the way I acted it was only because I care for you and I just wanted to keep you safe.” He was nervous and shaky, so was I.

            “I know.” I spoke softly looking up at him an earnest smile crossed my lips. “And I care for you.” Ben let out a light breathy laugh in astonishment. A cold breeze blew past us giving me a chill. I instinctively grew closer to Ben for warmth. I pursed my lips in anticipation. The silence only made the tension build. It was agonizing. What was only seconds seemed like hours? Ben slowly brought his hand and gently rested it around my neck just under my ear. His thumb tenderly grazed across my lower jaw.  His eyes were almost begging me to kiss him first and end this unbearable delay. He brought his lips down closer to mine.

            “Katherine.”  His voice was smooth and tender. I looked up from his lips and into his eyes once again and grinned.

            “Please.” My eyes pleaded as I brought my hand and gently caressed his cheek. The sprouting facial hairs were prickly against my palm. “Call me Kate.” I whispered and then our lips finally met.

         My heart burst into a joyous thunderous symphony when Ben’s lips enveloped mine. I could not hear, see, or feel anything but Ben’s lips pressed gently against mine and his arms around me. Ben would kiss me and then I would reply with several of my own. I had never wanted something more desperately than his embrace and I was not ready to let go. The warmth that we generated countered the cold autumn night. Nothing else existed in those moments but us. His breath was sweet and his lips were soft. I felt the scratch of the hairs of his unshaven face as his chin rubbed across mine. As soon as it began it was over to my chagrin. Ben’s eyes were softened into a tender gaze. My left hand had reached up to touch his that still caressed my neck and cheek.  The right hand drifted down from his cheek and caressed his upper arm. I sighed into a laugh and so did Ben.  I hoped that the joy I felt in that moment would last a lifetime.  
            “You must go.” He whispered. My heart was still racing.  
            “I do not want to.” My head shook. I did not want him to go. My eyes pleaded with him to stay.  
            “Neither do I, but you have to.” He kissed me again only this one was much shorter. I grimaced and looked back toward the house. “I’ll take Ellie back to the stable, but you must go now.” I knew he was right, but a part of me was begging to go with him. I said nothing and just nodded. My body inched its way towards the house, but my eyes were locked on Ben’s.  
            “Goodnight, Ben.” I spoke softly.  
            “Goodnight, Kate.” He whispered. I smiled once again when he said my name. I turned and went back to the house.


	22. Pestilence

knew that I had to get back inside the house undetected and make it appear as if I had never left. I made the decision to go around to the servant’s entrance to the kitchen and make my way back to my bedroom. The cold air bit at my exposed fingers and ears. The night dew seeped into my shoes with every step. Once I rounded the corner I looked back and watched Ben ride off back toward the Continental camp. I smiled blissfully to myself before I turned around and went on. Hopefully, the door was unlocked. Tildy forgot to lock it from time to time. When I approached the door my stomach twisted and my palms began to sweat. I reached out and gently jiggled the latch. It opened with a click. I sighed in relief and stepped up and into the kitchen.  
The room was incredibly dark, but the moonlight shining through the window gave me enough light to make my way through the kitchen. I came into the dining room which was just as dark. Suddenly, I stubbed my toe on the leg of the dining table. I lurched at the pain shooting up from my foot. I quickly covered my mouth stifling the loud groan that tried to escape. I bit my lip and limped across the dining room. Before I crossed the foyer I peeked around the corner to make sure I was clear. The silence throughout the entire house was a signal for me to quietly go upstairs.   
I quickly entered my darkened bedroom closing the door behind me. Leaning my back against it I began to laugh. It was a combination of relief and utter joy. I knew in that moment that I would never forget that night. My fingertips reached up and grazed my lips where Ben’s had been. Suddenly, a bright flash illuminated in the darkness. I jumped at the abrupt disturbance. A match lit a candle on a nearby table. My heart pounded as I squinted in order to see who was in the room with me.  
“Rachel? Is that you?” I whispered to the silhouette in the room. Rachel the brought the candle closer so that I could see her face in the light.   
“You’re lucky it’s me and not your father in here waiting for you to sneak back in.” She went over to light several more candles so that she could see to help me undress. I nodded in silent agreement. I began unlacing my gown Rachel came over to assist. “So judging by that smile on your face this midnight ride must have been eventful.” I could hear the smirk on her face.   
“It was.” I said coyly refusing to look back at her because I could feel the flush rise into my cheeks. Rachel pulled on the last ribbon of my stay and slid it off. I stepped out of my gown and went to undo my hair.   
“You know very well Miss Kate that a proper young lady such as you should not be riding off in the middle of the night to a military camp alone. It was reckless and foolish. What would your father say?” Rachel scolded me as if I were a child. I was weary of the chidings I’ve received from my family. My temper was not easily flared, but as Rachel pushed me I could not help but push back.   
“Well, then it is a good thing that he will never find out about it.” I snapped as I looked at Rachel through the mirror in front of me. “I am perfectly aware of what I was risking, but it was my risk to take. This was likely my last chance to do something impulsive for myself before I go back to Philadelphia and be my aunt’s fashion doll.” I had a strong distain for what my aunt called entertainment.   
Aunt Augusta had no children of her own and as the eldest child of her only brother-in-law I received the brunt of her attention and criticism. She was my primary tutor in the art of becoming a proper lady in Philadelphia high society. Once I turned eighteen she would take me to every single ball and assembly in the city in the hopes of finding the most suitable husband. I knew that she would double her efforts when we returned home. However, I also knew that I had to become the very thing my aunt wanted me to be in order to be the perfect spy.   
“But I thought you wanted to go back to Philadelphia, Miss Kate?” Rachel was perplexed by my admonishment of my family in Philadelphia.  
“I-I do.” My reasons for returning had to be kept secret.   
“Yet, you won’t see Major Tallmadge again for a long time.” That was partly the reason although I knew in my heart that I would see Ben again after our work in Philadelphia is ended. Rachel had to be kept in the dark about the work I was hoping to accomplish so I had to make her believe that I was simply going to miss Benjamin. I looked at her in the mirror with sadness in my eyes.   
“Yes, we will be parted for quite a while.” I looked away from her gaze and continued letting down my hair. “I dare say I shall miss him very much.” My voice quivered at the end. My only regret over this whole affair was leaving Ben just as we were continuing to get to know each other better. As I pulled out the last of the pins the brown curls fell and draped over my shoulders. It was a thought that had not crossed my mind. What if Ben and I were not to see each other again? If something happened to him I would be crushed beyond healing.   
“I’m sorry, Miss. I didn’t mean to upset you.” She regretted bring him up.  
“It’s alright, Rachel. When Philadelphia is taken back by the Continental army I am certain Ben and I shall see each other again. Perhaps we will see each other frequently. So much so I believe he may grow tired of me.” I giggled away the thought of not seeing him again. I had to push those thoughts aside in order to keep myself from going mad.  
“Nonsense! I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He couldn’t forsake you even if he tried.” She winked. I blushed coyly as I stood up and walked over to get into bed. “Well, I believe you must have had a historic evening then. You have stopped smiling since you came home.” I could hear the smirk on her face.   
“It was rather eventful.” I admitted to her before letting out a giggle before sighing blissfully as I fell backward onto my bed.   
“I can see that.” She raised an eyebrow at me before reaching down and picking up my discarded gown. “You went back there didn’t you?” Rachel obviously knew where I had gone so I neither confirmed nor denied her suspicion. “So then you two have reconciled after your quarrel this morning? Well, that was fast.” Rachel’s jesting tone made me laugh. She knew we couldn’t stay angry with each other for long. I rolled my eyes just as a massive yawn caught me. “You should get some sleep. I certainly hope that kiss was worth all this trouble.”   
“It was.” I replied groggily not paying attention. When I realized what I has said I was shocked back awake. Rachel started giggling as she blew out the candles around my room. I slunk down into my bed in embarrassment. “Goodnight, Miss.” Rachel said chuckling as she closed the door.   
I laid there in the silent darkness staring up at the ceiling while the events of the past few hours repeated in my mind over and over again. Everything was coming to fruition. The approval for my plan to spy in Philadelphia was imminent. The thrill I felt was what kept me awake despite being so exhausted. My fingertips reached up and grazed my lips where Ben’s had been minutes before. The utter joy I experienced in those few moments was indescribable. I could still feel his touch against my skin. My entire body shuddered at the thought of his hand gently grasping me around the waist pulling me closer. The blood rushed as my heart beat faster and faster. My stomach twisted and seemed to flip inside me as I though him. The sensations I felt in that moment had once been foreign to me, and while I lay there in my bed I realized that I could not live without them. I listened to the sound of the wind blowing through the trees, and watched the tree limbs dance in the shadow of the moonlight.   
The next morning came quickly. I did not even remember falling asleep. As I turned over in my bed I looked out the window and saw that the sky had grown dark and cloudy. It was pouring rain. I sat up in bed in disappointment. I dressed for the day and waited for the deluge to pass. As morning turned to evening the rain never ceased. The chances of me getting away with sneaking out to the continental camp again diminished. A dampened frock was more easily noticed. Until an opportunity presented itself, Benjamin, Mr. Sackett, and General Washington were just going to have to wait.   
I sat in the parlor reading David Hume’s A Treatise of Human Nature in a feeble attempt to keep myself occupied with something other than anxiety over when I can go back to the camp and meet with General Washington. The idea of meeting His Excellency was intimidating. This figure of veneration stood above all men, not merely because of his stature, but also his magnanimous presence. Or so I’ve heard. Up until now General Washington felt as if he were already a legend and beyond the constricted human existence. I was lost in thought when I suddenly realized Father had spoken to me.   
“W-What was it you said Father?” I stuttered as I glanced up from my reading.   
“Did you sleep well, Kate my dear?” He crooked an eyebrow at me from his armchair. Bess and Anne giggled as they sat at the harpsichord practicing a duet.   
“Yes, very well.” I nodded with a grin.   
“I figured with the recent news you would be up all night trying to plan out how you are going to tell Major Tallmadge of our departure.” He said as he put his pipe back in his mouth. “I should think he will be greatly disappointed with the news that we are leaving for Philadelphia.”   
“I’m sure he will understand.” I told Father. “Besides it is not like we are never going to see each other again.” I went back to my book then I asked Father an important question. “When will we be leaving precisely?” I watched Father ponder a moment while he made his estimation.  
“Oh, we should be ready to leave by the coming Monday.” He said as he went back to his papers and pipe. I had six days left to make the proper arrangements with Benjamin and Mr. Sackett, and learn the methods they were using to gather intelligence. Six days left to become a Continental spy. The task was daunting, but it was mine to face and at least I was going to have help.   
Tildy came in not minutes later and announced that dinner was ready. Just as we sat down to dinner a thunderous knock at the door startled us. James opened the door and a man came in the house practically soaked to the bone.   
“Mr. Henry?” I rose from my chair in shock at the state of the man I had seen barely a week ago. His demeanor had shifted greatly from the overjoyed father of a newborn son to a ghost. “What is it? What’s happened?” I strode across the dining room to his side.   
“The girls . . .t-they’re .” He shivered so hard he could hardly speak.  
“James, please bring Mr. Henry a blanket.” James nodded and quickly went to look for something to warm Mr. Henry. I brought the cold shell of the man over to a nearby seat. Tildy followed a short time later with a warm basin of water and began to tend to Mr. Henry. After a few moments I asked him again. “William, what’s happened to the girls?” He looked up at me in despair as he clutched onto the blanket.   
“They’ve both got the pox, Miss Kate.” The man broke down in tears. I was alarmed by the dreadful news.  
“How long have they been ill?” I asked him bluntly.  
“Several days now. Lizzie came down with it first and then Little Mary. We tried to keep them separated and take care of them, but they just kept getting worse.” He buried his head in his hands. Smallpox is easily spread amongst family members. The only reason why Mr. Henry and Mary were unaffected was because they had both already had it several years before. There isn’t much treatment you can give someone with smallpox other than comfort in an attempt to sooth their fever. I feared for the Henry’s infant son.   
“What about the baby?” I knelt down and became eye level with him.   
“Mary took him to our neighbor’s house to stay days ago. Then I went to Doctor Winthrop, but he told me to go get you instead, since, he said, that you wanted to play at being a doctor. Please, you have to come now.” He pleaded. I nodded and stood up straight.   
A fury raged inside me that I stormed upstairs and grabbed my bag of supplies. Winthrop, the damned fool. He neglected his obligations to the town simply because of the fact that I was doing the work that he was refusing to do. I would deal with him at a later time. I had more important concerns, and I did not care about anyone’s objections not even my father’s. I bolted down the stairs and rushed to put on my cloak. Father quickly strolled over to my side.   
“Father, there is no one else. I must go.” My eyes pleaded with my father. He sighed.  
“Well, you can’t go alone. Jonas will go with you.” He smiled thinly and gently caressed my cheek.  
“You are so much like your mother.” He grinned. “She would not stand by and do nothing either. I’ll stay here and see Mr. Henry is looked after.” I nodded in William’s direction.   
“Thank you, Father.” I replied gratefully and raised up on my toes and kissed him on the cheek before heading out the front door into the rain and cold. James went with me and helped Jonas saddle Ellie and another horse.   
“Mister Allen needs you to stay with Miss Kate and keep an eye out for trouble.” James told his teenage son. The young man nodded before getting on his horse. We were riding down the road within minutes.   
The road was think with mud making the ride incredibly difficult. It took twice as long to reach the Henry’s farm. I was unconcerned with contracting smallpox since my family and I had already be inoculated two years before. That’s when I learned how to treat it. There was no cure for the illness. Inoculation was a successful effort into preventing the mass spread of the disease. Ever since the beginning of the war smallpox has become more rampant in the cities, but I had never thought they would come this far into the country. I realized then that the army had brought it with them.  
Jonas and I were both soaked as we made our way up to the Henry’s farm. Jonas dismounted and led his horse and mine to the post before helping me down. I made my way up the porch steps and stopped. Suddenly, I remembered that I was supposed to meet with Ben and Sackett at the Continental Camp and begin my instruction. A meeting with General Washington was also a possibility.   
“Jonas, I need you to ride to the Continental Camp, find Major Benjamin Tallmadge, and tell him I cannot see him tonight.”  
“But Miss Kate? Why are you meeting secretly with this gentleman?”  
“You don’t need to worry yourself about that. Here take this.” I hand him my handkerchief. “It’ll be the proof that I sent you. Tell him everything that has happened with the Henry’s. He will understand.” The young man was reluctant. I saw it in his eyes. Both his father and mine had told him to stay with me. However, there was no danger here and I had to let Ben know what was happening why I couldn’t be there.   
“I’ll be fine. I just need you to do this for me. Neither your father nor mine will ever know I asked you to do this. I just have to let Benjamin know what’s happening here and I can’t leave Mary and the children. Please Jonas?” I asked, practically begged, for both his secrecy and his effort.  
“A-alright, Miss Kate, I just don’t want to get into any trouble.” Jonas stuffed my kerchief into his pocket.   
“This will just be between us.” I reassured him. He nodded as he mustered up the confidence and mounted his horse. I watched as he turned and went back the way we came.   
Once Jonas was out of sight I turned my attention back towards the house. It was dimly lit from within as if it were already in mourning. I tried to shake away those thoughts as I entered. The front door creaked and moaned as I opened and pushed my way inside. My stomach tightened with nerves. I did not know what I would find in that house. I was afraid of the worst. Coughing and moaning came from the back bedroom where not barely two weeks ago I had delivered the Henry’s baby boy. The house had been filled with such joy that day. The stark contrast in that moment was stirring.  
I walked down the hall to the back bedroom and found Mary asleep in a chair by the side of the bed and the two girls huddled together in bed. They were in a miserable state. I rushed to their side to see if one of them was still conscious. My hand felt each of their foreheads. They each had a burning fever. The typical pustules that come with smallpox dotted their small bodies. I was not afraid to touch them since I had been inoculated along with my father and sisters two years ago during an outbreak of smallpox in the city. Bess and Anne caught the pox while Father and I were barely scathed only suffering a short period of illness. Once we returned to the farm in White Marsh, I begged Father to have all of the slaves inoculated as well to ensure that they too would be safe from the devastating sickness.   
The little girls moaned softly in their sickbed. I quickly prepared a basin of water and damped cloths in an attempt to sooth their fevers.   
“Kate?” I heard Mary murmur as she awoke.   
“It’s alright, Mary. I’m here now.” I spoke softly and clearly so she could hear me. I patted the girl’s foreheads with the damp cloths. She sniffed sharply and nodded since she was in too much pain to speak. It must be unbearable for a parent to watch their children suffer in such a terrible way. “Mary, I’m going to need you to tell me when you think the girls were exposed to the pox.” She struggled to answer my question.   
“I-I don’t know. They always stayed close. I never saw them with anyone they could have caught it from.” She spoke with desperation.   
“Please, Mary any detail at all could help me understand. The girls could have been exposed days before they even fell ill.” She coughed and sniffed before wiping her nose against her sleeve.  
“Well after church they were playing with the other parishioners children.” She said looking up at me.   
“That’s not enough time. They would have had to been exposed at least two weeks ago.”   
“Well, the only thing I can think of is when they were outside playing when the army marched through. The girls marveled at the sight. I was watching them as I hung up the laundry. Mary started picking wildflowers and giving them to the soldiers.” Her voice broke. She couldn’t understand how or why this could have happened and her desperation was eating away at her. This new information was exactly what I needed to solve the mystery. The girls had caught smallpox from the infected Continental soldiers. All I could do was give them some comfort and try to temper their fevers so that they might survive the night. The little girls were so weak that they could barely move. Their fevers were burning right through them. I began to fear the worst. Mary began to quietly sob in the chair beside me. I knelt down beside her with a comforting hand on her back and took her by the hand.   
“Mary, I swear I will do everything in my power to save your girls.” She looked up at me red faced with tears streaming down the sides of her face. I could see the gratitude in her eyes. The situation was grave and the two girls were in a desperate state. I was not sure whether I could save them, but I made sure not to let Mary see how afraid I truly was. 

 

My heart pounded in my chest as I road back into camp. I felt as if I were in a daze. A stupid grin was frozen across my face as I climbed down from my mount and walked back to my tent. My blood was still hot with an impulsive desire. I could still feel her touch and taste her lips. I bit my lip as I rubbed the tension out of my neck. I knew that I had to get to work right away in order to get Kate’s copy of my codebook done on time. Kate’s instruction in our methods of intelligence gathering must be begin immediately as well. She would be gone within a week.   
I removed my coat and poured myself a drink. I brought out the quill, ink, and parchment Sackett sent over for me to use and I got to work. The candlelight was my guide and my energy came from her kiss. Hours passed by without my notice as I scratched away at the pages. Before I knew it, it was morning. It was not my first sleepless night nor would it be my last. When I glanced over my work I discovered that I was only halfway done with the codebook. I sighed as I put down the quill taking a short break form my work. My neck and back ached from the strenuous writing. I stretched and arched back in my chair in an attempt to alleviate the tension.  
A rooster crowed in the distance just as the entire camp began to rise from their cots. A long yawn escaped from my mouth just as Caleb burst into the tent in one of his enthusiastic moods. No doubt he was wondering about what happened last night after I escorted Kate home. Brewster had this spacious grin on his face as he sauntered over to me and clapped me on the back so hard it stung for a moment.   
“So? How’d it go?” His smirk never ceased. I needed coffee before I was willing to answer him. I got up from my seat and went to make me a batch. I brushed past Caleb and he was dumbfounded. “Oh, come on Benny Boy! Don’t leave me hanging like a pair of fruits. What happened between you and the lovely Miss Allen last night?” He said as he followed behind me. I rolled my eyes and smirked as I made myself some coffee. “Ha, ya see I knew it! Look at your face! Come on, what happened? ” He crowed as he smacked me on the shoulder knocking me forward. I could only shake my head.  
“It’s not what you think, Caleb. What happened last night is none of your concern.” I said as I pushed my way into my tent Caleb followed closely behind me. I sipped from the tankard and went back to work on Kate’s codebook. Brewster seemed to be stumped by the fact that I wouldn’t reveal to him what occurred between Kate and I.  
“Why not? I tell you about all of my late night conquests.” He frowned. I glanced away from my work and back at him.   
“Yes, I know, and frankly you share a little too much information on that subject for my taste, my friend. And, Kate is not some tavern wench you tumble with for one night. She’s, she’s so much more than that.” Turning back to my work once again I didn’t see the expression on Caleb’s face.   
“So you love her then?” Caleb’s voice sounded smug. At least I had gotten him of the subject of last night. I sat there and pondered Caleb’s question for a moment. My thoughts then turned back to last night. The smell of the lavender on her skin and the sweet taste on her lips. The way my heart thundered in my chest whenever I was near her or whenever I thought about her. All of these passions I felt had once been foreign to me. Now they are all I crave. I yearned for Kate as if I were a man dying of thirst. She was everything I could have ever wanted. Kind, charming, witty, beautiful, intelligent, there was no quality about her I disliked. Her stubbornness and impulsiveness were a match for my own. The burdens that I carried with running the Ring and fighting this war all seemed to be alleviated by her smile.  
“Well, yes. Yes, I do.” My face turned slightly as I spoke softly. I watched Caleb smirk to himself.   
“Well, I knew that. It’s just I wanted you to finally admit it out loud.” He chuckled. I rolled my eyes and shook my head as I got back to work. A slight smirk crossed my lips. It was relieving to admit it aloud. After a few moments of silence inside the tent Caleb blurted out once again. “Seriously, you’re not going to tell me what happened between you two last night?” I sighed in such annoyance that it sounded like a growl.   
“I kissed her alright. Now will you shut up?” I realized that the only way to get him stop his pestering was to tell him some of the truth. Brewster went quiet for a moment before clapping me on the back.   
“I knew you had it in you, Tallboy!” He exclaimed chuckling with praise. I sighed rolling my eyes.   
“Now that the matter is closed can you let me get back to work? I have to get this done before Kate arrives tonight to meet with Washington.” I spoke with frustration as I reached over and dipped my quill into the inkwell.   
“Fine, keep the details to yourself for your own personal use later.” He winked at me. I rolled my eyes and kept writing. Caleb laughed as he pushed his way out of the tent.   
I continued working into the hours of the early evening stopping only to eat and the occasional exchange with Mr. Sackett as he came and went. He would offer some advice on how Kate should precede with gathering and passing intelligence to us. To my relief, I finished the codebook just before nightfall. Caleb and I joined Mr. Sackett for supper shortly after sundown. My anxiety in anticipation of what was to follow that evening crept up inside me. It was vital that Washington approve not only Kate’s assignment, but he must also approve Kate as a spy.   
A heavy downpour began just around noon. I continued working into the hours of the early evening stopping only to eat and the occasional exchange with Mr. Sackett as he came and went. He would offer some advice on how Kate should precede with gathering and passing intelligence to us. To my relief, I finished the codebook just before nightfall. Caleb and I joined Mr. Sackett for supper shortly after sundown. My anxiety in anticipation of what was to follow that evening crept up inside me. It was vital that Washington approve not only Kate’s assignment, but he must also approve Kate as a spy.   
“Hopefully any misgivings he has about this venture will be settled tonight.” I could hear Sackett say. It was if he could read my mind. “I have no doubt that our young lady will be quite persuasive and persistent in her argument. She has been thus far.” I spooned at the stew on my plate as I listened to Caleb’s response.  
“I’m just not sure if Washington’s going to take to the idea of having a woman be our key agent in Philadelphia.” Brewster sighed. “He doesn’t seem to be the sort that would be agreeable to it no matter how forward thinking he might be.”   
“Well, your female friend on Long Island has proven herself quite an asset thus far. I believe that Miss Allen will do so as well,” Mr. Sackett’s confidence in Kate was reassuring. She would take self-assurance in having him as an ally. “Her plan is very well thought out and, if I do say so myself, she is quite the cunning little bird.” He said as he took a drink of wine while looking across the table at me.   
There was a bit of disturbance coming from outside, but none of us paid any attention to it until a young, rain-soaked private burst into the tent. Mr. Sackett looked at the fellow with annoyance as he stood there in front of us nervously.   
“What is it, Private?” I finally spoke up confused by the boy’s presence.   
“M-Major Tallmadge, Sir.” The boy bowed awkwardly. “A negro slave has just come into camp asking to speak with you.” That was odd. I stood as the private reached into his pocket and pulled out a delicate white handkerchief. “He said you would know what this means. It was his proof that he was telling the truth.” The private handed me the handkerchief in his hand. I held it for a moment before bringing it up to my nose and inhaling the familiar scent of lavender.   
“What is it, Ben?” I heard Caleb ask from behind me. I stared down at the delicate piece of fabric in my hand monogramed with the letters KA. I felt in that moment that something wasn’t right.   
“Take me to him.” I looked up at the private. The boy nodded sharply and turned pushing his way out of the tent I followed closely behind. Once outside I could see that the rain had stopped momentarily. The grass was soppy and the pathways were merely thick mud. With one hand habitually grasping the hilt of my saber and the other clutching onto Kate’s handkerchief I treaded behind the private as he led me across the camp to the front gate. I strode up to the three other guards who barred the young man from entering the camp. I recognized him rather quickly it was James, Mr. Allen’s stable hand. He was jittery in his demeanor. His behavior only made me even more concerned.   
“It’s alright men, stand down. I can vouch for him.” The guards were hesitant, but they obeyed my orders. They let him pass through the gate. I gestured to him to follow me to a place more private and out of earshot. “What is it, James? Has something happened to Kate?” The boy seemed skittish.   
“No, Major Tallmadge, Sir. Not really.” His choice of words left me confused.   
“Well, is she alright?” I was very concerned for Kate’s wellbeing. “Is she in danger?”  
I asked him.   
“No, Sir, she’s fine. She asked to come here and tell you that she can’t come to meet you tonight.” His news was troubling. We were supposed to meet with Washington tonight.   
“Why? What’s happened?” I reached and put a hand on his shoulder.  
“One of Mr. Allen’s neighbors arrived just before dinner begging for Miss Kate. His two girls have caught smallpox. Miss Kate rushed over there to take care of them.”  
“Where is the house?” I asked him.   
“It’s about half a mile down the road from Mr. Allen’s place. You can’t miss it. She’s there now. I need to get back soon. I wasn’t supposed to leave Miss Kate there alone.” I nodded as he spoke. Thoughts rushed through my head. I needed to find a way to get this meeting be put off to give Kate time to come here. Then I wanted to go to her and see if I could be of any assistance to her.   
“Right, of course. You should get back.” I nodded. He turned to leave. “James.” He stopped and turned back to me. “Would you tell her that I’ll try to be there as soon as I can?”   
“Yes, Sir. I will.” He spoke before he hurried off.   
Walking back to Mr. Sackett’s tent I attempted to rehearse what I was going to tell Washington. If Kate could not make the meeting then it could put the whole operation at risk of being rejected. I burst into the tent startling both Caleb and Mr. Sackett.  
“What the hell’s got you in such a state?” Brewster spoke disconcertedly. Mr. Sackett looked at me over the rim of his spectacles.   
“Kate’s not coming tonight. Her neighbor’s daughters have smallpox.” I said pacing the room.   
“Perhaps this is an opportunity. I think I shall take the time to convince His Excellency further on the matter of Miss Allen’s proposal. That should give her time to finish her business here in the country and begin to look forward to her work in Philadelphia. She should understand that she can’t have both.” Sackett spoke bluntly.   
“But wasn’t Washington expecting her tonight?” I asked perplexedly.   
“It was never really specified when he wanted meet the young lady. I merely suggested it to him. It will take further persuading, which can be accomplished tonight.” Sackett began to sort through more papers.   
“Ain’t there a doctor in town to help take care of the little lasses?” Caleb asked.   
“Yes, a Doctor Winthrop. Kate mentioned him once. She tried to speak well of him, but he turned to heavy drinking and has abandoned his practice nearly a month ago.” I said hostilely as I stopped pacing the room. I was not as sympathetic towards the doctor as Kate was. Perhaps she knew something I didn’t.   
“Perhaps the good doctor can be “persuaded” to get back to work?” Caleb said with an unfriendly smirk.   
“No, though he may deserve it.” I remarked. “Winthrop is of little concern right now. I think I shall wait until tomorrow and check on her. Washington wants me to go take a patrol and scout the enemy lines. He believes it is likely that they will make another strike against us before they prepare for winter.”   
“I’m sure Kate has got everything handled.” Caleb remarked with a deep yawn. “Well, I think I’m gonna call it a night.” He said as he stretched backward before he clapped me on the shoulder once more and slipped out of the tent.   
“If her medical skills are anything like her talent for spy crafting. I am sure those two children are in good hands.” Sackett assured looking at me over his spectacles. “There is nothing you can do.” Sackett told me explicitly, but I was concerned for Kate.  
“I have to see if I can be of help.” An outbreak of smallpox in countryside could have only come from the stricken soldiers passing through the area. It was likely that Kate realized it too.   
“Very well then.” Sackett said before standing. “I will continue to press upon our Commander the plan that Miss Allen has laid out. Then I hope he will meet with her.” Sackett picked up a collection of papers and left his tent. I returned to my own barracks shortly afterward and made preparations for the next day.   
Early the next morning, I took my dragoons out on patrol. Washington wanted a keen eye kept on the enemy lines near the area of Germantown. The defeat was another severe blow, but we were still in the fight. Once we arrived we noticed that the redcoats were drawing back more and more into the area surrounding Philadelphia. The enemy believed it would be gratifying if they seized the capital, but it only pulled them further from New York.   
We continued to scout the area for hours covering miles of terrain with no sign of disturbance from the British before I ordered my men to return to camp. It was the opportunity I needed to go to Kate like I promised I would. I road hard back towards the familiar pathway that led to the Allen house. Leading my horse down the way I followed James’ directions and found the house where I knew Kate was.   
As I approached everything was quiet, too quiet for my liking. There was no movement either inside or outside the house. I dismounted wary of my surroundings and guided my horse to a nearby post. I cautiously made my way up the porch steps. My eyes scanned the area for any signs of intrusion. There was none that I could see. I knocked on the door several times to make sure that someone was inside the house. I leaned forward listening intently for any disturbance from within. I could hear steps coming towards the door. I jolted up straight when the front door opened and revealed an unfamiliar face. The frail red headed woman was around my age at the time. Her face appeared grey and her eyes were dreary with exhaustion.   
“Can I help you?” She sounded fatigued and slightly agitated by my presence. I deduced enough to realize that the woman as the mother of the two sick little girls.   
“Ma’am, I am sorry to disturb you.” I tried to be as respectful and courteous as possible because of the situation the woman was in” Is Miss Allen here?” She looked at me up and down before nodding.   
“You must be Major Tallmadge. Kate said you would be coming here.” She gestured apprehensively for me to come inside. “You may come in. She’s with my girls right now. She stayed with them all night so I could get what little sleep I could.” She led me the length of the hallway walking side by side.  
“How are they? Your daughters.” I inquired, conveying my concern for the children.  
“They are very weak, but I have faith in the Lord . . . and Miss Kate.” She spoke meaningfully. We came to room towards the back of the house. I glanced inside I could see two girls laying in their sickbed. Kate was there sitting at their bedside. She was resting on the small portion of the bed. Her back was to us, but I could tell from the tilt of her head and the slow rise and fall of her shoulders that she was asleep. I smirked to myself.   
“You must think very highly of her.” I looked over at her. The woman looked up at me as if I had asked a dumb question. She looked away and towards the sickbed.   
“Ay, I do. I remember the day I first met her.” She nodded towards Kate. “Mrs. Thompson brought her here when the time came for Lizzie to be delivered. Kate was always curious about medicine and midwifery. Kate brought Little Lizzie into this world. She saved my life and the life of little boy. I would never doubt her.” She gave a faint smile. The revelation of Kate’s relationship with this family warmed my heart for her even more.   
“Nor could I.” I grinned. “Would it be alright if I . . .?” I gestured asking for her permission to go in and speak to Kate. I was her house after all.   
“Yes, of course. I was just going to make some coffee. Poor dear’s been nodding off all morning.” She smirked just before heading towards the kitchen.  
“Thank you, Mrs . . . .?” I asked.   
“Henry. Mary Henry.” She said before she disappeared around the corner.  
I cautiously entered the room. When I reached Kate’s side I stopped and just watched her for a moment. I observed the delicate features of her face. The softness of her skin and the flutter of her long eyelashes. My hands fidgeted as I stood there. I wanted to talk to her, but nor did I want to wake her when she looked so lovely. I mustered the nerved and gently reached over and tried to nudge Kate awake. Suddenly, she jolted violently in a burst of alertness.   
“W-what is it? What happened?” She blurted out as she looked around the room in a rush. She stopped when she saw me. “Ben?” I chuckled at the puzzled way she said my name.   
“I promised I would be here didn’t I?” I grinned down at her. She rapidly looked over at the two girls. Their breathing was shallow. Kate reached and placed a hand on each of their foreheads. She just shook her head and sighed in disappointment. She turned her attention back to me.  
“Yes, you did.” She smiled. Her expression then became more alarmed and she jumped up from her seat. “You shouldn’t be in here!” She rushed me out of the room.   
“W-what? Why?” I chuckled slightly confused by her meaning.   
“I won’t have you getting sick as well.” She warned me. I moved to reassure her, but she recoiled. “Don’t, my clothing is contaminated. You could catch it too and that is something I couldn’t bear.” Her tone softened. I sighed, enamored by her concern for me. It was all I could to keep from laughing so I just stood there and just smiled at her. “What? Why are you looking me like that?” She said with a curious grin. I nipped at my bottom lip as I thought of my answer. I stepped closer to her and stared down into her eyes as I took her hand enclosing her fingers in mine.   
“Because I adore you.” I said as I stroked the back of her hand with my thumb. Kate’s eyes went wide and she trembled. I could see the redness rise in her cheeks. She looked away from my gaze flustered by my response.   
“Is that a good enough reason to risk catching smallpox?” She said trying to back away.   
“You shouldn’t worry so much about me. I said as I raised her chin so she would look back at me. “Washington already took precautions. He ordered every one of his soldiers to be inoculated last winter. It was not a pleasant experience, but it was for the best.” I informed her. Kate listened to my words with great attention.  
“Well, that is fortunate.” Kate sounded relived by my revelation. “It is advantageous to the army to avoid being weakened by disease as much as possible.” She paused a moment to glanced back at the two girls laying in their sickbed. “I wish the same could be said for the civilians left behind.” I knew her heart ached for those girls who were undoubtedly suffering, but Kate also hurt because she knew that there was little she could do to ease their agony. I saw that struggle and pain in her eyes. I wanted to help ease her mind in any way I could, but what could I do?


	23. Painful Misfortunes

I understood that there was little I could do for Kate in that situation, but I was able to provide some support and comfort. The spark that had been in her eye had dimmed. Her manner seemed tired and dejected. She had such a strong connection to this family and these children that to care for them while they were in this state was beginning to take its toll on her. This disturbed me. I did not want Kate to bring harm to herself over something that was beyond her control. Kate’s little smiles towards me were attempts to mask her weariness. My heart went out to those girls and to their family. Smallpox was devastating to even adult men. The sight of the two frail bodies lying in that bed was difficult to witness.  
“Is there anything I can do?” I asked. Kate looked back up at me. A tenderness filled her eyes that warmed my heart.  
“No, there’s nothing that can be done.” She shook her head as she spoke. “All we can do is wait.” She returned her gaze back towards the girls.  
“You should get some rest. Mrs. Henry said you were up all night with them.” I suggested.  
“I know, but I don’t want to leave them.” She said not looking away from the sickbed.  
“Yes, they need you, but you would be helping them more by keeping yourself well.” It was important that Kate realizes this not only for the sake of the children, but for the sake of the cause as well. She would need her strength in the days to come. Kate pondered my words for a few moments before nodding.  
“I do suppose that is for the best.” She admitted reluctantly. “I hate to leave them.” She paused. “When Mary comes back I’ll ask her to stay with them so I can get some sleep.” I moved to stand in front of her.  
“Good. I would hate for you to make yourself ill worrying about them.” I said as I reassured her by tenderly touching her arms. “I’m glad you came here.” She whispered.  
“I was hoping to speak to you about your instruction on our methods of gathering intelligence, but you look exhausted so I won’t trouble you with it for right now. But it will have to begin soon or else you will be left in the dark. I want you to be safe when you return to Philadelphia and begin your work.”  
“I have to be approved by Washington first, do I not?” She smirked.  
“Yes, but I have faith in Mr. Sackett's methods of persuasion. Washington will want to meet with you. Once he hears from you how you intend to move forward once you’re in the city he will be enthusiastic about your plan.”  
“That is good to know. I only intend to stay with the girls until their fevers subside. That should take another day of two. God willing. If they don’t wake soon I fear the worst. They are both so young and frail.” She began to tear up. I comforted her in an enclosing embrace. My chin rested lightly on the top of her head.  
“Miss Kate?” I heard a confuse voice say from behind me. I turned and Kate looked past me to see Mrs. Henry standing there no doubt criticizing our behavior with a crooked brow. It was an awkward moment between the three of us standing in the corridor.  
“Oh, um, what is it Mary?” Kate said trying to delicately brush off the embarrassing situation.  
“I, uh, brought you something to eat.” She said shifting from her critical gaze at me to a kinder eye at Kate.  
“Oh, thank you Mary.” Kate smiled.  
“Will the young gentleman be staying?” Mrs. Henry said with a firm inquisitiveness. I swallowed the lump in my throat.  
“No, I’m afraid I cannot, but thank you Mrs. Henry.” I turn to Kate. “I must be returning to camp before they send someone out looking for me.” Kate tried not to look disappointed at my going, but I could see it in her eyes as she smiled.  
“Of course. I wouldn’t want you to get into trouble. I see you out.” I walk with her out the front door. She stops at the edge of the front porch.  
“Where’s James?” I said looking around for the boy who had not appeared.  
“Oh, he went to bring Mr. Henry back from the house. I told him to get some rest and something to eat before coming back.”  
“You should heed your own advice.” I grinned.  
“I will.” She replied with a smile.  
“I’ll send word as soon as Washington is ready to meet.” Kate nodded and extended her hand which I took at brought to my lips. I let her fingers slip through mine and turned latching my helmet before mounting my horse. “I’ll see you soon.” I told her. She replied with a smile and nod. I did the same, and with that I was trotting down the road on my way back to camp.

 

“Come back inside, Miss Kate. You’ll catch a chill out here.” I heard Mary say form behind me. “Let’s get you something to eat.” I reluctantly follow her inside just as Ben disappeared into the fog. Mary led me into the small dining room and forced me to sit down. She brought me a small plate of porridge and a glass of ale. It was filling after running for so long on an empty stomach.  
While I ate, Mary went to sit with the girls. I could hear their strenuous coughs from down the hall. It was difficult to sit there by their bedside and not be able to help them. When I finished I went to lay down for a short nap. Ben was right. I needed to rest. That was the best thing I could do in order to be there for Lizzie and Little Mary.  
I quickly devoured the small meal and Mary kindly let me use her bed to take a nap. I awoke to an abrupt wailing. I saw that day had turned to night as I jolted off of the bed and hurried down the hall to the girls’ room. When I rushed into the room I saw Mr. Henry crouched behind Mary as she wept over Little Lizzie. She was very still. I reached down put the back of my hand on her forehead to check her fever, but she was slightly cool. My body grew hot and shuddered. I quickly check for a heartbeat.  
Nothing. I stood there staring blankly at the small child. I couldn’t breathe or move.  
“She left her alone for just a minute. She didn’t want to wake you.” Mr. Henry spoke teary eyed over his wife’s sobs. James rushed into the house and came in. Not looking away from the small child lying cold in her bed. I placed a hand on James’ shoulder.  
“James, will you go fetch the priest for the Henry’s.” I spoke as calmly as I could.  
“Yes, right away.” James left. A few moments later I could hear his horse neigh and gallop down the road. Mr. Henry came around the bed and picked up the surviving daughter, Mary, out of the bed and carried her to the other bedroom.  
“Mary, I-.” I tried to say something of comfort, but I did not know what to do. Mary continued to weep not hearing my attempt to be of comfort. At first, I just stood there few a few shorts moments, but then I left the room to give her some privacy with her child. Once in the hallway I braced my hand against the way for support. The sight of a grieving mother and father over their child was heartbreaking. I couldn’t bear to hear the agonizing sobs so I quickly went outside to catch my breath and wait for Father Thomas, the priest of the nearby Catholic Church.  
I remembered the day that Lizzie was born. The senior midwife, Mrs. Thompson took me along and let me deliver the baby. She was my first delivery. I recalled that Lizzie was a small newborn, and loud. I watched her grow into a healthy fiery little three year old. She was always running around playing with the dogs that kept watch over the family’s farm.  
Whenever I would come to visit or check up on them she could bring me a handful of leaves and I would pretend for her that they were the most beautiful wildflowers in Pennsylvania. The memories and guilt began to be too much. I started to weep into the door frame that I used to support my weight. After I spent my tears all I could do was sit and wait for the priest to come comfort the family.  
The night turned to a chilly autumn morning just as I saw James come slowly riding up the foggy road with the priest following behind him. I went back inside to inform Mr. Henry and he came out side with me welcoming the middle aged priest. James and I stayed outside while they went inside. After another hour of consultation the priest came out to speak with me.  
“They are very grateful for what you have done for them. You have shown them a great kindness. Yet, I think it is best that you go on home now, my dear. There’s nothing more you can do here.” He spoke calmly and empathetically. I nodded somberly in agreement.  
“Thank you. Will you give them my condolences?” I asked my nose stopped up and my eyes heavy with tears.  
“Of course, Miss Allen.” He bid me farewell.  
“Thank you, Father Thomas.” I turned and stepped off of the porch. “Let’s go home, James.” I told him. He went and brought my horse around and helped me mount.  
A sinking feeling lingered within my chest as we road back home. I felt so useless and ineffective that night it was a crushing blow. No medical skill that I possessed would have helped saved Lizzie’s life and that was difficult for me to come to terms with. My heart broke for Mary and William to lose one child so soon after gaining another the emotional state they were in must have been difficult. I could not imagine the pain that they had endured. My mind was flooded with thoughts of guilt and heartache.  
When James and I rode up to the house, Jonas came out of the house to meet us. Father followed closely behind him. James dismounted and helped me down from my horse. I was in a daze. My mind was so muddled with so many thoughts I couldn’t think straight. Father helped me up the steps.  
“Kate, are you alright?” He spoke concerned for me. Father was worried about me, but there was no need. I just needed time alone.  
“Y-yes, I’m fine, Father. I just need to lie down for a while.” I went inside without another word and went straight upstairs to my room.  
The imagines of the past hour came back to me. I was not numb to the pain I felt for the Henry’s, but couldn’t help but feel helpless at being unable to save Lizzie. All I could see and hear was her pale serene face and Mary’s screams of grief. Once alone, I set my medicine bag aside leant against my bedpost and began to weep uncontrollably. It became difficult for me to breathe so I reached behind my back and undid my frock and stay. I sat down on the bed when my legs became too tired to stand any longer.  
All I could was stare at the floor and think about what I was doing with myself. This was to be my last case for I was to leave for Philadelphia and it was a failure.  
The faint sunlight shone through my window turned to darkness before Rachel came knocking at my door. She poked her head into the room.  
“Miss Kate?” She said tenderly.  
“Hm?” I looked up from my dazed stare.  
“It’s time for supper. Aren’t you hungry?” She spoke softly. As if she were asking if I was alright rather than if I was famished. I nodded in reply.  
“Oh, yes. I am. Thank you, Rachel. Uh, will you help me get dressed?”  
“Of course, Miss. I’ll find something for you to put on.” Rachel crossed the room to my wardrobe and began to pull out a lovely blue silk frock.  
“No, not that. Something more appropriate. The grey one will do just fine.” I requested. She nodded and complied. I dressed for dinner and Rachel helped smooth down my curls that had become rather untamed. With a few finally adjustments I put on some clean slippers and went to do down to dinner.  
Coming down the stairs I could see Anne and Bess talking in the parlor while Father was waiting by the fireplace. There was no doubt James informed my father about what had happened because Father looked up and saw me his demeanor had become somber. There wasn’t much said at the table while Tildy and James served us. I could feel my sisters’ eyes on me every so often. Every moment I could feel someone’s eyes on me I knew that they were all thinking about me and what had happened. I drank the wine vigorously in order to calm my nerves. I made an effort to eat what little supper I could. I would glance up from my plate to look around the room every so often. Anne and Bess would lean into one another and whisper. Father would every now and then open his mouth to say something, but nothing would come out. The obvious truth was being left unaddressed as if I could break at the very mention of what happened. They were right.  
The entire room soon became suffocating. Every little clink of silverware or glass was an insufferable irritation. My palms began to sweat. After a while the noise became unbearable. I had to get out of there. I dropped my silverware down onto my plate and pushed my chair back quickly making my escape out of the dining room and pushed my way outside onto the front porch.  
The night air had turned even colder. I could see my breath as I gasped for relief. There was silence save the rustling leaves as the wind blew them across the ground. Everything then felt so much harder. I could feel a twisting feeling inside my chest as if someone had reached inside began to grasp at my heart. I felt out of breath. All of this was new and painful. I had never lost a patient before. The death of a small child was not a rare occurrence, but it was still a tragedy to witness.  
My grief was for the family, but there was also with weight of the knowledge that perhaps I could have done more. I kept asking myself what I could have done better in order to save the child. I knew that there was little I could, but I gave Mary my word that I would do everything I could for her daughters. I felt like I could have done more and that I should have be able to do more, despite what Benjamin had told me. At the time I felt burdened by the guilt and believed there were no words of comfort that could have given me consolation. 

 

The cold night settled in over the encampment and I took to my work finishing the last pieces of Kate’s code book and writing out instructions for her on how to transcribe her intelligence to us. All of a sudden Sackett burst into my tent huffing and puffing. I quickly rise from my seat, startled and confused.  
“Mr. Sackett?” I inquired. He took a few deep breaths shushing me with his finger, silently asking to give him a moment.  
“Washington, has asked to meet with our latest recruit.” He speaks huffing each breath.  
“What, you mean now?!” I was caught off guard by the news.  
“Yes” He said. “The General says that he wishes to assess the young lady’s competence and judgement for himself.” He scoffs.  
“Does he not trust your judgement?” I crooked a brow at this peculiarity.  
“The General believes that I give too much high praise after only one meeting. I think he believes I have been charmed.” Sackett rolls his eyes. “Which is not true by the way. If anyone’s opinion of the young lady is partial it would be yours.” He smirked. I rolled my eyes as I gathered my saber and pistol heading outside.  
“I’ll go and get her. She should be home by now.”  
“Are you certain?”  
“Well, if she’s not at home then she’ll likely be at the farm house taking care of the sick little girls. I’ll bring her back with me.” I put on my helmet and mount my horse.  
“Just make sure no one sees you. The girl’s reputation must be kept intact if this plan is to work.” He warned.  
“I know.” I replied before kicking my heels and my horse gallops down the road.  
A short time later I could see the Allen house in the distance. The candlelight illuminated from the windows. I could see a silhouette of someone standing on the front porch. As I got closer I could see her. Kate. I halted my approach not looking away from her as I dismounted. I lead my horse quietly across the field out of sight of anyone in the house. I sneaked around the side of the house and silently made my approach.  
Kate was leaning against the post somberly looking in the distance. The light from inside the house made her look paler than normal. I realized that there was something seriously wrong. I poked out from behind the corner and tried to get her attention.  
“Psst, Kate!” I half whispered. She did not hear me so I tried again. “Kate, over here!” She looked up confused by the noise. Kate looked around until she saw me on the other side of the house.  
“Ben?” She whispered as she came to the other side of the veranda. “What on Earth are you doing here?” She said surprised. I came out from behind the corner. She towered above me on the porch. I stood there looking up at her. “Ben, my father is going to see you. You can’t be here.” She scolded.  
“Washington has agreed to meet with you.” I replied with excitement. Her jaw dropped.  
“What? Now?” She said shocked and perplexed. I nodded in reply. “Ben, I-I can’t my father he’ll suspect something.” Kate shook her head.  
“Tell him you are going to bed, then sneak out through the library. I’ll wait for you behind the house.” I tried to reassure her.  
“I don’t know.” She spoke apprehensively.  
“Kate, it will be alright.” I encouraged her with a smile. She took in a deep breath and let it out.  
“Alright, meet me at the window.” She confirmed and with a quick nod I slipped back behind the house.  
An hour later the house had gone dark. Suddenly, a candle illuminated the dark library. I ducked around in order not to be seen. Kate tapped on the glass letting me know it was clear. She opened the window and began to climb out. I held her and the waist letting her slide out of the window and gently down to the ground. My heart pounded as I held her close.  
“How did you sneak away?” I inquired.  
“Just as you had suggested, I told him I was going to bed that I was tired. No one had any objections. After they all retired I came back downstairs. I’ll be back before anyone notices that I’ve gone.” Kate brushes past me and makes her way to my horse. Her mood was melancholy.  
“Kate, wait. What’s wrong?” I came to stand close beside her. My voice softened in concern.  
“It’s nothing you need to concern yourself with.” She spoke softly, sad. Kate was waiting for me to help her mount, but I wouldn’t let her avoid my questions.  
“Kate, what’s happened?” I put my hand over her’s as it grasped at the saddle. She didn’t look up at me. Her eyes only stared forward. A frown was on her lips. “What’s wrong?” I watched her swallow a lump in her throat.  
“The Henry’s youngest daughter she, uh, she died last night.” Her voice was solemn. I sighed. The grief in her eyes was explicit.  
“Kate, there was nothing you could have done.” I said placing my hands on her shoulders turning her towards me. Her teary eyes still didn’t meet mine.  
“I know that, but I still should have tried harder to save her. I did nothing but. . .” Her voice was slightly frantic. The tears streamed down her cheeks as she blinked. I embraced her close in an attempt to soothe her pain. She cried into my chest as I held her.  
“You gave her whatever comfort you could give her. That’s what matters. You cared enough to look after her from the moment she came into the world until the moment she parted from it.” She finally looked up at me perplexed.  
“How did you know about that?” She said with confusion.  
“Mary Henry told me that you were the one who delivered Lizzie.” Kate nods sniffling and wiping away her tears. “You have a big heart there is no shame in that. You loved that child as you do with every child you helped deliver and you mourn her loss. That’s not unreasonable.”  
“I just can’t help but feel that I’ve failed.” Her voice choked as she spoke.  
“You cannot prevent the misfortunes of the world, Kate. No one can. All we can do is carry on knowing that they are no longer suffering.” Kate looked down at the ground and then back up at me smiling tenderly.  
“You’re right.” She spoke softly. Her mood became concerned again. “I just fear about what will happen to the people I look after once I leave. Winthrop is a negligent drunkard melancholic and he is all they have.” Kate scoffed.  
“Do not concern yourself with that right now. We’ll deal with the doctor soon. Right now we have to get to camp. General Washington is waiting.” Kate smiled her enthusiasm returned to her cheeks.  
I assisted Kate as she mounted my horse I sat astride behind her. We rode off away from the house and into the night. Our bodies stayed close to each other the entire way. The warmth of her body leaning against mine was exhilarating. The quick beat of the horse’s hooves matched my heart. The vulnerability I saw that night in her only made me love her more.


	24. The Gentleman from Virginia

Arriving into camp twenty minutes later we were met by Mr. Sackett outside the main headquarters where Washington was waiting inside. Ben dismounted first and helped me slide down from the saddle. He tenderly held my waist and carefully brought me down setting my feet to the ground.  
“How wonderful to see you again so soon, Miss Allen.” Sackett came up to me cheerfully. “I hope you are well.” I smiled thinly. My heart still ached.  
“Yes, I am quite well. Thank you, Mr. Sackett. I am grateful that his Excellency is taking this time to speak with me.” Sackett nodded.  
“Well, I have no doubt in your persuasive abilities. However, the General has his doubts and is not particularly fond of the idea of having a woman being our only spy in Philadelphia.” I nodded as Sackett spoke.  
“I will do my best. Thank you for getting me this far.” I looked back and forth between Sackett and Ben. “Both of you.” I smiled up at Ben, and he replied with a gentle grin of his own.  
“Right this way, Miss Allen.” Sackett led the way up the steps and into the building.  
Our footsteps echoed against the hardwood floor. The hallways were dim except for the faint candlelight illuminating throughout the house. Sackett went inside the room that I assumed was Washington’s office. My body halted just outside the door as my nerves took over. I felt Ben’s hand reach down and squeeze mine reassuringly. I glanced up at him and smiled. Looking back at the doorway I swallowed the lump in my throat and followed behind Sackett.  
A tall figure stood close the window looking out over the encampment. I watched the man observingly. The candlelight cast a glow over one side of his face. General Washington did not turn to us when we entered the room. His mind was elsewhere, perhaps miles away looking toward the next engagement with the enemy.  
Sackett cleared his throat in order to gain the General’s attention. My heart pounded and my palms began to sweat in anticipation of the meeting. Washington turned his head toward us and his body followed shortly after in a single smooth motion. General George Washington was standing in front of me looking the very image of military excellence.  
Growing up, I had heard tales of General Washington from Father who, like he, had also served in the Seven Years’ War. He was one of the most, if not the wealthiest farmers in all of Virginia. Washington bares the fervent loyalty of his trusted officers despite any military loss. These stories made him famous throughout the Colonies.  
As this already legendary figure stood before me I took the time to observe him. His uniform was pristine and his stature was as gallant as it was towering. The candle light glimmered off of the gold buttons of his coat. The gentleman had a strong countenance. A prominent angular chin and nose. His mouth formed a delicate natural frown yet nothing about the air around him gave way to any signs off negativity. His gaze was direct, but also seemed to be able to comfort as easily as they intimidated. It was an extraordinary thing to see the myth made flesh.  
“Your Excellency, may I present Miss Katherine Allen of Philadelphia.” I heard Sackett announce from across the room. I pushed my nerves aside and curtsied before the gentleman from Virginia.  
“Miss Allen, may I present, His Excellency General George Washington.” Sackett said as I rose.  
“It is an honor, Your Excellency. Thank you for taking the time to speak with me.” I looked at him directly and kept a firm tone of voice.  
Washington looked at me for a few short moments. There was no doubt in my mind that he was reading me like a book, observing every flinch and movement I made for signs of weakness or incompetence. He nodded acknowledging me. Washington then came around from behind his desk coming to stand in front of me, but several feet apart.  
“Miss Allen, Mr. Sackett has informed me of your intention to procure intelligence for our cause.” His gaze lingered intently on me waiting for an answer.  
“It is, Your Excellency.” I replied sincerely.  
“And how you mean to do so? You have no experience in encoding intelligence or the methods which we use.” His tone was incredulous. I moved to speak, but before I could Ben stepped in.  
“Sir, Miss Allen is a quick study and is quite capable of implementing our methods. I mean to instruct her further before she leaves for Philadelphia.” Ben attempts to sway Washington, but he appeared unmoved by Ben’s efforts.  
“You know as well as I do Major Tallmadge that spy work is more than just encrypting messages.” Washington sternly reminded him. “Now Miss Allen, how does a young lady from a good family such as yourself intend to obtain information from the enemy?” He looked directly at me. Both Ben and Sackett turned their heads and waited for my response. I felt so small in that moment. My nerves tightened and my stomach twisted as I searched for my answer. I took a deep breath.  
“I understand that you are skeptical, Sir, please allow me to make my case to you and prove that I am of use. I have an acute ability to read and handle people, which is a skill I developed while growing up amongst the highest of Philadelphia society. One has to learn to wear many faces while being surrounded by calculating and deceptive people. My family name will grant me access to many Tory social events and therefore access to prominent figures with in the occupying British forces. It is my intention to use my position in that society and my femininity to extract information from Loyalists as well as British soldiers and officers. Fortunately for us, the fairer sex is greatly underestimated at times.” I stopped there and waited for Washington to speak. He said nothing for a moment. Ben and Sackett looked back and forth between Washington and me with their eyes wide in astonishment at my subtle scolding of the General.  
“How do you mean to get the intelligence past the blockade?” He inquired finally. I took a breath and answered.  
“I have several friends, loyal Patriots, still living within the city who would be willing to aide me in getting the intelligence through the city and back to Major Tallmadge and to you. They have ways to access the local countryside without being suspected by the guards surrounding the city. Some make deliveries into Germantown and White Marsh while others have relatives in the nearby areas.” I spoke plainly. Washington looked at me for a moment as he pondered my plan.  
“Are you certain that they can be trusted? They would be risking their lives couriering your intelligence out of the city. Can you be sure they won’t turn you in order to save themselves?” Washington asked earnestly. I pondered his question for a few moments.  
“The people I spoke of have known me since I was a child and my family years before that. I trust them with my life as you would yours to any of your loyal officers. They are as ardent in their beliefs as I and would not be swayed by the colorful promises of the British.” I responded. Washington stared at me for a few moments. My nerves stood on end as we all waited for a response from him. Washington smirked slightly and nodded, then looked away from me and over to Ben.  
“Major Tallmadge, I trust you to instruct Ms. Allen on our methods of encryption. She has little time before she leaves for Philadelphia.” As Washington spoke, I felt utter elation. It was as if a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The anxiety went away in an instant. I looked at Ben and smiled. He replied with the same.  
“Yes, Sir. I will begin instruction as soon as possible.” Ben spoke as the General went and sat back down at his desk. He picked up his quill and began to write.  
“See to it that she is returned home safely and discretely. I can’t imagine that her family are aware of any of this.” He said through a thin smirk. “You may go, Miss Allen.” I curtsied and turned to leave. “Mr. Sackett will you stay a moment?”  
“Of course, Your Excellency.” Sackett approached Washington’s desk. I glance back as Ben escorted me out of the room, but couldn’t hear what they were saying.  
Once in the privacy of the corridor Ben let out a sigh of relief and smiled brightly. I couldn’t stop giggly and bouncing out of shear excitement. He was speechless and for a moment so was I.  
“I knew that we could do it, but now that we have I’m still astonished.” I laughed lowering my voice.  
“You were very persuasive.” He grinned. “When he began to question your plan, I was rather nervous about how you would handle it.” He nodded and smirked.  
“I was quite nervous myself. He was very intimidating.” I admitted.  
“Washington has that effect on everyone he meets. Though he seemed to be impressed by your responses. You were fantastic, Kate.” Ben’s eyes softened as he looked down again at me. I looked away smiling and flustered.  
“Ben, I-I couldn’t have done this without you.” His hand reached down and his fingers intertwined with mine.  
“I believe that we couldn’t have done this without you. Not everyone is meant to be a spy. You are.”  
“I hope you are right.” I sighed with apprehension.  
“I have faith in you.” He said gently lifting my chin up with his hand. Ben leaned forward slightly. I wanted nothing more than to reach up onto my tip toes and kiss him, but I was hesitant.  
“Ben, we can’t. Someone will see.” I pleaded as I searched the corridor for any prying eyes just waiting to catch us in an intimate moment together.  
“See, told you that you were espionage material.” He chuckled.  
“Don’t tease me, Benjamin. If someone see us-“I said nervously, but Ben stopped me when he turned me back to face him. He was amused by my urgency and worry of discovery.  
“Don’t worry, Kate. There’s no one else here. We’re alone.” He spoke and smiled reassuringly and looked down at me again softly, melting away my unease. I smiled, my heart pounding.  
“Well, in that case.” I said softly with a flirtatious grin.  
Ben’s hand gently caressed my neck and brought my lips up to his. I could feel his heart pound vigorously underneath the palm of my hand as it moved over his waistcoat. This embrace seemed longer in comparison to our first. Our lips pressed and glided against each other. Ben would stop to catch his breath and smile brightly when he had, then would enthusiastically rush back to continue where we left off. His other hand would support my back as it stretched to reach him. I was too overjoyed to care anymore about where we were and who could walk in on us at any moment.  
After a minute we stopped. I couldn’t help but giggle a bit as we still remained close to each other. Ben chuckled as well. Suddenly, we heard someone from behind us clear his throat loudly. Ben looked up sharply and I turned around startled by the disturbance.  
A Continental officer stood leaning against the doorframe smirking at Ben and me. He was approximately Ben’s age and had an air about him that screamed of confidence. Observing him I determined him to be a handsome youth. The candlelight brought out his reddish gold of his hair. His nose was rather sharp and his chin protruded slightly, but it was not deterring. His cheek bones were high and his blue eyes were large. His piercing eyes moved from Ben to me.  
“Apologies, Major Tallmadge, I hated to interrupt the lovely moment with your lovely companion.” He looked over at me. “Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Hamilton, Miss.” He bowed. I nodded and did a short curtsy. Ben and I were quite embarrassed to get caught off guard like that.  
“I am terribly sorry, Sir. We were just leaving.” Ben tried to scoot me away, but the officer stopped him from bolting.  
“Aren’t you going to introduce us, Tallmadge?” Hamilton said with a cheeky grin. Ben turns back and sighs looking at Hamilton.  
“Of course, Sir. May I introduce, Miss Katharine Allen of Philadelphia. ” He gestured towards me. I curtsied to Hamilton once more. He stepped forward at took my hand and raise it to his lips.  
“A pleasure, Miss Allen.” He smiled.  
“Are you the Alexander Hamilton who penned The Farmer Refuted in response to Bishop Seabury?” I recognized the name from a publication I read while staying with Charlotte in New York.  
“I am.” He grinned.  
“I am an admirer of your work, Sir.” I smiled at him.  
“Thank you, Miss Allen. I would like nothing more than to discuss it with you.” He looked over me and at Ben. “However, I do think it is unwise for such a beauty as yourself to be out this late at night and unchaperoned. Perhaps Major Tallmadge should take you home, presently.” He said raising an eyebrow to Ben.  
‘Yes, Sir.” Ben said lowering his head slightly.  
“I do hope we meet again, Miss Allen, but under different circumstances.” Hamilton smirked at Ben once more before turning to leave. Ben leads me out of the door rather hastily.  
Once outside Ben lead me back to his horse and helped me mount.  
“He was rather pleasant.” I said to Ben as he mounted behind me. “What does he do here?”  
“He’s Washington’s aid-de-camp and he’s the ever constant flirt.” He rolled his eyes.  
“Do I detect a hint of jealousy?” I looked back at him with a smirk. He frowned down at me, but looked away quickly.  
“No.” He said kicking the horse forward.  
“Well believe me dear, you have nothing to worry about. My heart has not strayed. I find that New York men aren’t exactly easy to digest. Long Island men are even worse.” I winked back at him. He smiled and laughed at that as we continued on back to my house.  
The cold night chilled my skin despite my cloak. I slid back slightly to get closer to Ben to keep warm. His arms enclosed me to stay off the cold while maintaining a grip of the reins. He led the horse to the back of the house where I could slip back in unseen. Ben helped me down and kept me close for a moment, reluctant to let me go.  
“Where and when do you want to me for our lessons?” He asked. I pondered it for a few moments.  
“I’ll meet you by the creek at the large boulder at around noon. I’ll make sure I’m not followed.” I smiled reassuringly before glancing back at the house. There were no lights coming from within so I had to assume everyone was still asleep.  
“Alright. We have to be careful. There isn’t much time and we have a great deal of work to do.”  
“I know, but I have faith that we can do it.” I walked over to the window where I had escaped from earlier. I slid it back open and Ben helped me back up into it. I stepped back into the library and poked my head back out to meet him. “Goodnight, Ben.”  
“It’s morning now, I think.” He smirked. I rolled my eyes and smiled down at him. He reached up and I came down to kiss him once more careful to keep my balance so I didn’t fall out of the window.  
“Good morning, then.” I said softly, still close to Ben’s lips. I stared tenderly into his eyes for a few short moments before quickly slipping back inside and shutting the window. I watched Ben get back on his mount and leave in the direction we came. Turning back, I lit a candle to guide me through the dark interior of the house. I slipped out of the library and into the hall to make my way up to my room.  
“I trust you had a splendid evening.” A deep, all too familiar voice spoke out from the parlor. My heart stopped and I froze in my tracks. Father.


	25. Deception

My body grew hot with shame as I stood in the corridor. I felt in that moment that everything I was working toward was about to collapse. My eyes slowed shifted towards the chair by the parlor fireplace.  
“Come here, my dear.” Father said. I swallowed a lump in my throat and kept my head down as I slowly entered the parlor. I could feel my father’s eyes inspecting me. “Have a seat.” He said gesturing towards the chair across from him. I took the seat and continued to stare at the floor. “You must know that I do not approve of you out in the late hours of the night alone with a young man. It does not reflect well on you, Kate.” The disappointment in his voice was apparent and made me sink further into the chair.  
“I know, Father. I am sorry.” I said solemnly. There was a long uncomfortable silence between us. He sighed at last.  
“Katherine, I know you are not foolish enough to compromise your reputation with this young man. However, I wish to discover his intentions towards you. That being said I must inform you that you will no longer go unsupervised when you venture away from home.” Father declared much to my chagrin. I frowned as I stared into the fire and watched my hope of keeping my secret burned.  
“Yes, Father." I said softly, complying with his order. This was another challenge that I had to face.  
“Rachel will be going with you to the little Henry girl’s funeral in the morning and she will accompany you should Major Tallmadge come calling on you before we leave on Wednesday.” He frowned. “You may as well get used to the idea of being under constant scrutiny now before we return home. Also, I’m sure you are aware that it will be very difficult to make contact with Major Tallmadge once we are inside the city. I trust that you and Tallmadge realize this and will adjust to the situation accordingly. We must be careful not to give away our true allegiances. You know just as well as I do that we are walking into wasps’ nest. I have already discussed this with your sisters and they have agreed to keep quiet about the company’s time here and your courtship with Tallmadge.” His tone was solemn and his eyes would drift from me to the fire. Father was being quite direct at that moment which was quite unusual. I could tell that he was concerned about the days to come.  
“Do not worry, Father. All will be well. I’m sure of it. We will not be the only ones hiding secrets from the British. I will be speaking to Benjamin again tomorrow and inform him of the situation.” I smiled reassuringly and kissed him on the forehead.  
“Thank you, my dear.” He smiled gratefully. “Now I believe you should get some sleep before the sunrises.” He chuckled. I smiled and return to my room and undressed myself for bed. I quickly made my way upstairs. My stomach churned and my nerves were on edge. I did not know how I would get past the roadblock in my way. If I told Rachel the truth about what I was doing she would in a likelihood inform Father and then everything Ben and I have been working towards would collapse. I would have to find a solution to that problem and soon.  
As I made my way up to my room I let out a deep resounding yawn. I had not realized just how exhausted I was, however, given the events of the past two days it was no wonder I was dead on my feet. I enter my room and undressed myself before collapsing on my bed. As soon as my body was comfortable I was in a deep sleep.  
I awoke in the same position that I fell asleep in. My pillow wet from the spittle that had drifted out of my open mouth. I grimaced at the sensation as I wiped away the drool from the side of my mouth and jaw. Rachel comes in just as I stretch and stand to dress for the day.  
“Mister Allen said not to wake you for breakfast. Sayin’ that you needed your rest.” She said picking up my dirty laundry.  
“What time is it?” I yawned.  
“It’s just after eleven o’clock, Miss.” She said as I crossed the room to my closet. I picked out a simple robe to wear for the day. A simple brown frock and white petticoat. Rachel assisted with some of the lacings I couldn’t reach. Just as Rachel started to open my door I put my hand against it stopping her.  
“Rachel, we need to talk.” I spoke austerely looking her in the eye.  
“Um, what about, Miss?” The confusion was plain on her face.  
“Father, is going to ask you to be my chaperone whenever I leave the house. I will be going to be meeting with Major Tallmadge this afternoon and I need you to keep anything you might see or hear to yourself. No one else can know.” The seriousness of my tone appeared to disturb Rachel.  
“But, Miss Allen, Kate I-I can’t do that. I would be lying to Mr. Allen.” Rachel’s fear was understandable.  
“You would only be doing what I asked you to. He will never find out.” I tried to plead my case, but Rachel did not appear to be convinced so I tried bribery as a motivation. “Rachel if you do this for me . . .” I had to find the right incentive, something I knew Rachel would want. Once I found it I revealed my hand. “, I will teach you how to read.” Rachel’s eyes widened in shock. Her mouth dropped slightly, but said nothing. I waited for a response but none came. “So? Do we have a deal?” I asked. I did my best not to appear to be anxious should she refuse the offer.  
“Yes. I’ll keep silent.” She said softly as she nodded.  
“Thank you, Rachel.” I smiled in gratitude.  
I put on my slippers and headed downstairs. My stomach moaned for something to eat so Tildy brought me some morsels of bread and butter along with a slice of salt pork and a mug of beer. Sitting in the dining hall. I anxiously watched the time, waiting for the time to come so I could go and meet Ben again.  
“I don’t see why Kate gets too have all the fun while we don’t get to do anything!” Bess pouted from the parlor. “It’s not fair!” Bess wailed in her typical whiny fashion. Confused by the outburst I looked to Father.  
“What on Earth is she going on about now?’ I crooked a brow. Father looked up from his papers.  
“Oh, yes. A letter came for you from your Aunt Augusta. I had nearly forgotten.” He said as he slipped the open letter across the table. Bess had an obnoxious habit of opening my mail. I sighed rolling my eyes and read the letter. 

 

My Dearest Niece,  
I am sure you are well aware of the potential social advantages that will arise once you return home. It is especially important that we make certain you that are prepared for the undoubtedly dozens of potential suitors whose eyes you are certain to catch. You uncle and I are planning a ball for Tuesday next. I intend to take you to the milliners as soon as you arrive. Everything must be perfect. All of our friends will be there including several new friends I am eager for you to meet. Judge Edward Shippen will be giving a ball to honor General Clinton and the other royal officers on this coming Friday evening, and has invited us to attend. We intend to take you with us. Your sisters are still too young to attend an event such as this and your uncle and I cannot bare to manage all three of you. I will tell you about all of the details once you arrive. I’m sure it will be good for you to see your dear friends Margaret and Becky again. Your Father informed us you will be arriving on Wednesday. We shall have the house prepared for you when you all arrive.  
Your Loving Aunt, Augusta 

 

I folded the letter and tucked it away into my pocket. If Judge Shippen was hosting a ball it was very likely that there will be a great number of British officers in attendance perhaps even General Clinton himself. My luck was on the rise. Much to my sister’s chagrin I would be going with my aunt and uncle to the event. I was sure that they would get over it once the next ball or assembly comes around.  
Glancing over at the time I could see that it was now forty minutes past eleven. I needed to get to the creek to meet Ben by noon. Coming up with an excuse to leave the table was not difficult to come up with. I rose from the table sliding my chair back.  
“Father, if it’s alright I’m going to go for a walk and take in the air.” I spoke plainly. Father looked up from his papers. His eyes contained a small hint of suspicion.  
“Of course, just return home for dinner. Rachel go with her.” He nodded towards her.  
“Yes, Sir.” She curtsied.  
My feet did not wait for another word. I was out the door before anyone could speak up. Rachel followed closely behind me. I stopped out of just out of sight of the house.  
“I am meeting Ben near the creek. Once we get there, I need you to keep out of sight. Ben doesn’t need to know about this just yet.” I instructed. Rachel nodded in comply.  
The grass was still slightly wet with dew as I walked across the property. I took in deep breaths of the crisp autumn air. The dead and dying leaves rustled and cracked beneath my slippers. It was a ten minute walk from the house to the creek and the great boulder where I told Ben to meet me. Once I reached the clearing in the forest, I took a seat on the flattened side of the stone and waited. Rachel headed to a cluster of trees several yards away and kept herself hidden.  
The sun seeped through the forest canopy making the clearing glow with a faerie like atmosphere. It was as if I was in a scene cut from Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream. The brook several yards away restlessly rush over the rocks and swirl against the bank. The water shimmered under the sunlight. I gazed at the scene oblivious to anything else going on around me.  
The snap of a dry dead twig underfoot startled me and I turned to the source of the noise. I was relieved to see Ben approaching from the shadow of the forest, and I could feel the smile grow across my lips as he approached.  
“I see that punctuality is another of your many virtues.” I said with a grin. Ben chuckled.  
“Apparently, stealth is not one of them.” He jested as he walked over to my side carrying a parcel of some kind.  
“What’s that?” I nodded towards the mystery item in his hand. Ben took a seat on the stone beside me.  
“This is for you.” He handed me a bound collection of parchment. “Your copy of our codebook. This will be your guide on how you will encode your intelligence.” I opened the four page hand written pamphlet and skimmed over it. My brow furled in concentration as I made a quick assessment of the codes.  
“Numerical encryption?” I crooked an intrigued brow at Ben. He leaned in closer and began to instruct me while looking over my shoulder.  
“Exactly. It’s a numerical dictionary. Each number corresponds to a particular word. See here.” He flipped to the last page. “My alias is John Bolton or 721 and Washington’s is 711.”  
“Do I get a designated code?” I asked with an enthusiasm at the possibility of being included.  
“Well, there hasn’t been time to create one for you.” He replied. I frowned into a pout. Then I glanced through the pamphlet and came across the code for “lady”.  
“Why not 355?” I suggested. Ben looked at the code then smirked.  
“Agent 355. Hmm, it suits you. I’ll speak to Sackett when I return and arrange the correspondence. Do you think you’ll be alright learning these codes on your own?”  
“It’s easy enough to remember I suppose.” I flipped the pages back and forth looking at the cipher.  
“You don’t have to memorize them all. Just be sure to keep this well-hidden.” He assured me.  
“Don’t worry, Ben. I have the perfect hiding place for it.” I smiled hearteningly.  
“Oh, do you? Where?” He inquired with a crooked brow and smirk.  
“If I told you it wouldn’t be a secret.” I smiled impishly. Ben smiled, but there was something behind it other than his charm.  
“It’s a small compartment beneath a loose floorboard under my bed. No one knows it’s there. It’s where I keep personal trinkets and such. Letters from my mother and other things that belonged to her.” I told him truthfully. He recoiled as if he felt he offended me in some way.  
“Oh, I see. I’m sorry.” Ben looked away. I frowned sympathetically.  
“Don’t be. It’s quite alright.” I placed a supportive hand on his forearm and smiled. “I have feeling my mother would approve of you.” Ben’s hand reached over and tenderly grasped mine. I leaned against him and rested my head lightly on his shoulder.  
“Kate?” Ben spoke softly.  
“Yes, Ben?” I sat up and leaned away in order to look into his eyes.  
“I just want to make sure you understand how dangerous this will be. If something were to happen and you were discovered. I- . . . “He frowned as he looked away from me. The harsh risks all weighed heavily on the both of us. I placed a gentle hand on his cheek.  
“I know what I’m getting myself into. I wouldn’t have come to you if I didn’t. Yes, it will be dangerous, but I believe that we will succeed here. We must.” I spoke earnestly. Ben’s mouth momentarily crooked in a smile before returning to a frown.  
“I know.” Ben said solemnly. “It’s only. I don’t know what I’d do if something were to happen to you.” His hand squeezed mine.  
“There will always be that risk for both of us. Though, in truth, I am frankly more concerned for your safety than my own. You are the one who is going to be on the battlefield with enemy guns shooting at you.” I grinned thoughtfully. “I will just be facing a different sort of weaponry.”  
“Yes, but both can be just as deadly.” He reminded me.  
“That is true.” There was a momentary silence as my palm slipped away from his cheek. I slipped the letter from my aunt out of my pocket and held it out for Ben. “A letter arrived this morning from my aunt in Philadelphia. I think some of the contents will interest you.” An intrigued Ben took the letter and began to read. “I know where my first mission will be.”  
“Judge Shippen’s ball?” He asked. I nodded in reply.  
“It’s the perfect opportunity to establish myself as a Tory and discover any targets I can pull information from.” I was very enthusiastic about this however the frown on Ben’s face told me he was not as thrilled. “What is it?” I inquired. “Is this about your concerns for my safety?”  
“No, it’s not that it’s only . . .” He leaned slightly closer towards me. I feel his breath against my skin. A chill shivered down my spine as are faces were merely inches apart. Ben continued. “. . . , the thought of being apart from you for so long is vexing.”  
My lips curled in an emotional smile as his words hit me. I tried to catch my breath as I found the words to reply with. My heart pounded furiously and I trembled all over.  
“Yes, we will be parted for quite a while I should think. It could be weeks, perhaps months before we see each other again.” I frowned slightly.  
“Hopefully our correspondence will make our time a part feel a little less painful.” Ben said reassuringly. A small hopeful smile came across my lips.  
“I hope so too.” I said with a half-smile. “I trust that you know that you shall constantly in my thoughts.” I looked over at him. “Especially, when I have to pretend to enjoy the company of any British soldiers who presume any interest on my part.” I rolled my eyes at the thought of what I would very likely have to do at any Tory gatherings my aunt would drag me to.  
“I’m quite certain you shall be the subject of many affections when you make your social appearances.” He grinned. I shook my head at that.  
“I’m sure Peggy Shippen will have all of the fools already fawning over her by the time I arrive. I will do what I must for this mission, but I will not betray who I am even if it must be kept secret.” I sighed.  
“Of course not. I would never ask you to betray who you are.” Hs brow furled and his tone was sincere.  
“I know, Ben.” I believed him. I was having a difficult time getting out what I wanted to say to him. I sighed. “Ben?”  
“What is it, Kate?” He inquired concernedly.  
“Should something happen while I’m in Philadelphia and if I find myself the target of another man’s affections. I want you to know that I would not betray you, not even for the mission. The only affections I want are yours.” I smirked flirtatiously. Ben smiled tenderly as he brushed a loose curl behind my ear. His hand bushed along my cheek while his thumb traced my jawline. The gentleness of his touch against my skin was not overshadowed by his slightly coarse hands. My heart pounded in my ears as Ben came closer.  
“They are solely yours. Now and always.” He spoke softly.  
With those words my lips met his in a pure surge of unadulterated passion that took over the both of us. I could taste the musky air of his breath with each kiss. I gripped his arm drawing him closer to me. Our lips danced across the other’s with an enthusiastic rhythm. The only time we would halt our embrace was to catch our breath. When Ben pulled away and began to breathe heavily I giggled and whispered, “And mine are yours,” before kissing him again.  
Ben’s hands slid down from my neck down to my back pulling me closer. However, before our desires went over the edge Ben stopped himself. Despite the aching feeling I felt, I knew it was best that we stopped before the situation escalated too far.  
My chest heaved beneath my stay with exuberance. Ben’s eyes lingered on mine for a moment before drifting downward to my chest, and then he slowly pulled his hand away from my waist.  
“I should be getting get back to camp.” Ben said with a grin before slipping off of the boulder. He held his hand out for me and I took it hopping of the stone and down to the ground. I clutched the codebook against my chest.  
“Yes, I should be getting back as well.” I stammered. “We will be leaving the day after tomorrow. I hope I see again before then.” I smiled walking with him to his horse.  
“Of course.” He bent down and kissed my forehead. I smiled still flustered from our encounter just moments before. “I will call on you again at your home before you and your family leave. I promise.” He smiled before mounting his horse. I replied with a smiled and with a kick he was making his way back to the Continental camp.  
“You didn’t tell him about me.” Rachel said stepping out from behind the tree. I glanced back at her for a moment then turned back to watch Ben disappear into the distance.  
“I will, when the time is right.” I told her. Yet, I did not know when or if there would ever be a right time to tell him.


	26. Until We Meet Again

I turned back and began to walk back to the house. Rachel followed suit. It was clear to me that keeping the predicament with Rachel from Ben would be a difficult necessity. He would only worry over the secrecy of the mission and this was my responsibility. I created the mess and now I had to deal with it myself.   
“What did he give you?” She asked nodding in the direction of the codebook I clutched close to my breast. I sighed and stopped turning to face her.   
“There is something you need to understand Rachel. Ben and I are not just courting each other for our own personal reasons. We are conspiring together against the British. That’s what this is for. It’s a cipher for encoding intelligence reports.” I said holding up the book. “I will be Washington’s spy in Philadelphia.” Rachel’s eyes and mouth gaped open in shock.   
“A spy?!” She yelped. I shushed her even though we were over a hundred yards away from any prying ears. She backed down a bit. “Kate, are you mad?! You know what happens to spies if they are captured! You saw what happened to that young man in New York!” She exclaimed.  
“Yes, I know that. Believe me I’ve weighed the risks, but I have also determined that I would be the least likely to be caught. No one would suspect a woman of being involved in a conspiracy like this or even having the capacity to construct it. That’s why I sought out Major Tallmadge’s help. Little did I know that he was the head of intelligence for the Continental Army.” I put my hands on Rachel’s shoulders in an attempt to calm her. “I know what I’m doing, Rachel.” I smiled with closed lips waiting for her to say something.   
“So that’s why you were so in favor of goin’ back to Philadelphia. You were planning this ever since your uncle sent that letter.” She asked.  
“Yes, it’s the perfect opportunity to gather information to send back to Ben and to Washington. Using Aunt Augusta’s connections, I would immerse myself with the Tories and British officers gaining access to a plethora of vital intelligence that I would then encrypt and send back to Ben through a trusted courier with Patriot loyalties.” I laid out the details of my plan for her and waited for her to respond.   
“And the Major was in favor of this plan?” I she raised an eyebrow.   
“He wasn’t at first given the risk to my safety, but I managed to persuade him that any danger I would face would be minimal if any at all. General Washington approved of the plan himself.” I grinned. Rachel seemed surprised.   
“When did this happened?” She asked. I bit my lip and looked away mischievously.   
“Last night. I left with Ben and rode with him back to the Continental camp. Washington wanted to discuss the plan and requested that I be there.” Rachel sighed heavily.  
“And your father caught you sneaking back in the house after Major Tallmadge brought you back home.” She deduced correctly.   
“Yes, but Father only believes that Ben and I were merely courting.” He suspects nothing about my plan to spy for Washington.” I said gently shaking my head.   
“I suppose this is what you wanted me to keep secret from Mister Allen?” Rachel inquired with a frown.   
“Yes, it is.” I nodded. Rachel spent the next few moments in thought. I waited nervously. With a sigh she nodded.  
“Alright, I’ll keep this quiet.”  
“Thank you, Rachel. I’ll keep my word to you and teach you to read. We can get started whenever you like.” I said with a grateful smile.   
“That can wait until we get settled in the city. We should be gettin’ back to the house now, Miss. We need to start packing your things.” She said resolutely. I agreed with a nod and we returned to the house.   
The whole house was in the final stages of preparing for our journey back to Philadelphia. Tildy and Jonas were busy packing furniture and silver we brought with us when we came out to the country. Father organized the details for the overseers who would be staying behind and keeping an eye on the farm and the other slaves. Upstairs, Rachel aided my sisters with their packing while I went through my collection of gowns choosing the best to take with me.   
Sorting through the fabric I was determined to pull together the best costumes for my performance tenure as a young eligible Tory. I discovered my old red riding habit that was buried under several other jackets, petticoats, and skirts. It would likely need some tailoring but that could be easily managed. It would certainly make me appear to be a redcoat officer in a skirt. I picked out several more silk and satin gowns to take along with me including my lavender, blush, and pale green robes de l’anglaise. Aunt Augusta already promised me several new more fashionable gowns for when I returned to the city. I packed up my jewelry chest after examining it making sure I wasn’t forgetting anything. Rachel finished my packing for me just before dinner was served that evening. The rest of the night was uneventful besides the typical excited chatter from Anne and Bess.   
The next morning Rachel helped me dress for little Mary Henry’s funeral. I wore a simple beige gown with a black cloak draped my shoulders. My hair covered by a cap. I came down to see Father wearing his brown coat and beige waistcoat holding his black cocked hat under one arm while holding his cane with his free hand. A traditional black armband was worn on his right arm. My father, sisters, and I all were going to attend the funeral and burial. We made our way to the carriage for the journey to the wake. The mood was naturally somber and quiet.   
The day was darkened overhead by an ominous autumn raincloud. As we approached the house we could as several other mourners from around the surrounding area. One of them caught my eye. Doctor John Winthrop. The same doctor who denied little Mary Henry his aid in her dire need of care. My blood boiled at the sight of him. I clutched my handkerchief tightly in anger. Jonas and James stopped the carriage and aided Father and the rest of us from the carriage. I never took my eyes off of Winthrop. I took Father’s arm and he led me towards the house. He noticed the scowl on my face directed at the doctor and gently squeezed my hand reassuringly. It reminded me of where I was and that I should allow my disdain for that man’s neglect interfere with the occasion.   
We all gathered inside the house to pay our respects to the Henry’s. My heart sank deeper when I caught my first glimpse of Mary sitting in a chair cradling the newborn I had delivered her of only a week before. Her eyes were red and her face was place as it stared blankly at the casket of her young daughter as it was displayed in the main room of the small house. A priest stood nearby overseeing the procession to the grave. Father went over and gave his condolences to Mr. Henry who appeared to be quite exhausted. The oldest daughter Elizabeth had now fully recovered from the pox, but was still too weak to attend her sister’s burial.   
I walked up to Mary and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. She seemed startled by the sudden gesture and looked up at me. There were no real words I could give to console her grief. All I could only offer her a sympathetic smile. Her hand reached up to mine and squeezed it before letting go. Words were not necessary. I glanced over at the simple casket decorated with a simple black cloth draped over it. It was not an elaborate affair, but it was befitting the young life that was lost.   
Several local men helped Mr. Henry carry his daughter’s casket to the small cemetery located near the church they attended. With her permission, I walked with Mary in the funeral procession. We all stood by the open grave after the service. I would occasionally glance over at Doctor Winthrop, who stood towards the back of the crowd. Winthrop stared forward blankly. I was surprised that Mr. Henry had not rejected Winthrop’s presence here. That man had no place there and was not welcome.   
Rain began to fall as the little girl was lowered into the earth. Once it was over, the procession slowly drifted back to their homes.   
My family and I were walking back to the carriage when Doctor Winthrop approached us.   
“Mr. Allen. Ladies.” He said cocking his hat at my sisters and I. “I trust you are all in good health.”  
“We are, Doctor. Thank you.” My father replied with a nod.   
“It is a shame we have to meet again under such circumstances.” Winthrop said. I stared at him in utter confusion. Every word he said made my blood boil. Father couldn’t hold me back from tearing Winthrop down.  
“These circumstances could have been avoided if you had gone to the child’s aid when her father came to you days ago asking for your help!” I barked. Winthrop was shocked that I had bared my teeth at last.   
“Katherine. That’s enough.” Father scolded. I could not stop. I refused to hold back months of bottled frustration.   
“No. It’s not enough. He should take responsibility for neglecting his patients, and not just Mary Henry. I’ve been treating your patients for months, Doctor. Broken bones, cuts, fevers, chills, all who you refused help all came to me, and a gave them the best care I could offer despite the lack of education in medicine.” Winthrop frowned as I spoke. He looked at my father and retorted.   
“Your daughter needs to be reminded to stay in her place, John.” Winthrop replied coldly in his feeble attempt to glance over me. I would not be silenced. Making sure put myself in his line of sight I continued.   
“I’m sure you are well aware that my family is returning to Philadelphia, sir, and I will no longer be able to care for these patients. So either you gather your senses and do your duty or these people will suffer. If you do not, I pray that God will have mercy on these good people and bring them an honorable and competent physician to treat them.” I fumed much to the shock of everyone around me. Winthrop did not flinch, but I could tell that he would have slapped me across the face had my father not been standing there. Without another word I got into the carriage and my family joined me.   
My heart was pounding in my ears and my blood hot with rage. My teeth ground hard against each other as I sat in my seat staring out the window as we were driven home. Perhaps I had spoken above my station, but I did not care. I said what needed to be said. I could tell that Father was not pleased with me. He gripped the tip of his cane tightly. His brow was furled and mouth was a thin hard line. Whether Father wanted to admit it or not, he knew I spoke the truth. Hopefully, my strong words to Winthrop were the words he needed to hear in order to make him see the error of his ways and return to his work.   
The carriage pulled up to the house and James helped me down. I went straight up to my room to change clothes and continue packing. There was little that I could do about the need for a physician in White Marsh. If Winthrop would not take my words to heart, the township council would hopefully do something about it. For I would be needed elsewhere and my status as a local physician and midwife would have to be temporarily put aside. There was no certainty on how long we would be gone. Ben had estimated four to six months. It was a factor of this mission I was not particularly enthusiastic about. I felt that there was so much more Ben and I needed to learn about each other. My feelings for him grew more with each meeting. I kept his letters to me hidden away in the locked drawer of my vanity. That night before bed I took them out and read them over once again.   
Each line I read was written with the sincerest of affections. Ben structured his words on parchment far better than he did in person, not that that was poor either. In truth he was quite proficient at both. His words brought reassurance and encouragement every moment we have spent together. I hoped he would come by in the morning before we had gone. However, if that weren’t the case I needed to find a way to reflect the same regards Ben had shown for me. I went to my writing desk, took out ink and parchment, and began to scribe a letter for him.  
I was up until the late hours of the evening scribbling out the right words that would express my feelings towards Ben. Something I have neglected to do up until this point. Not out of lack for affection, but solely because I had never experienced such an attachment before. Once it was finished, I signed and sealed it with wax and left it on my desk. I crawled back into bed finally able to put my mind at ease and rest for a several more hours.   
The morning of the twenty-first day of October began with a small breakfast of porridge and toast. The house seemed nearly empty and the furniture was eerily covered by protective sheets. The servants and my sisters were a buzz with excitement at our impending departure. Father was making certain things were in order with the overseers and the dozens of field hands remaining behind during the winter. He would lay out the plans for taking the which cattle and crops to market, and how much was to be stored for winter.   
While Father was working in his study, I was making certain that every piece of furniture and necessity coming with us was in its proper place in the wagons. The last things to be loaded were the trunks containing valuable personal belongings and eight trunks of clothes. When at last the household work had been finished I returned upstairs to dress for the journey. My bed chamber was practically empty with the exception of my bed, vanity table, and wardrobe chest. Rachel helped me dress in a simple brown wool riding habit and helped me put together a presentable high roll which would be protected from the elements by a green silk calash. Glancing over, I could see my letter for Ben lying on my pillow. I picked it up and slipped it into my pocket. I reached underneath my bedding and retrieved the codebook and placed it into a travel bag that I would carry with me. There was a knock at my door.  
“Kate, it’s almost time to leave.” Father said when he came into the room.   
“Major Tallmadge gave me his word he would be here before we left.” I frowned. I had to wait for him just a bit longer.   
“We cannot delay our departure much longer. My brother is expecting us by midday.” Father sighed.   
“He’ll be here, Father. I know he will.” I insisted.   
“Very well, but as soon as you say your farewells, we leave.” He nods.   
“Yes, Father.” I agreed reluctantly. My father left the room, and Rachel helped me fasten the final few buttons on my habit. “He promised me he’d be here. So he will be.” We retired and went downstairs to wait a little while longer. I paced in front of the fireplace in restless anticipation of Ben’s arrival. After another twenty minutes of waiting my father came into the foyer.   
“Kate, I’m afraid we cannot wait any longer.” He spoke firmly. A rush of disappointment crept into my chest, but I complied reluctantly with a nod. We gathered ourselves and made our way to our chariot. James aided my sisters and me into the chariot. Father climbed in after me. Just as James went to climb back into the drivers’ seat the sound of thundering hooves could be heard in the distance. I hastily poked my head out of the side windows, gently shoving Bess out of the way.   
A wide smile grew across my face when I saw Ben riding towards us in the distance. I quickly hopped out of the chariot and made my way towards him as he quickly approached. Ben slowed down his mount enough to dismount just as I reached him. We were several yards away from the others.   
“I was afraid you were not going to make it in time.” I smiled trying to hide my displeasure at his tardiness. Despite my frustration I was happy to see him once more before I left.   
“Yes, I afraid I must apologize for being so late, and in truth my excuse is quite poor.” He said with a sheepish smile.   
“What happened?” My brow furled. Ben cocked his head as he thought of the best way to answer me.  
“Well, you see last night the men and I were all celebrating with drinks and . . .” Ben’s embarrassment was clear. I sighed rolling my eyes.   
“You overslept?” I asked with a cocked brow.  
“I am so sorry, Kate.” He admitted with shame. I sighed and giggled. It was impossible to stay cross with him, not when he looked like a sad puppy dog.   
“It’s alright, Ben. What was so splendid that it called for a late night drunken celebration?” I asked. His eyes lit up and bright smiled grew across his lips.  
“We defeated the British at Saratoga!” He said enthusiastically. My mouth gaped in shock.  
“That’s wonderful, Ben!” I jumped into his embrace. “I can hardly believe it!” I said with a smile. Ben held me close for a moment before setting me down.   
“It was General Arnold, he roused the men to victory. We just got word about it yesterday morning. The British under Burgoyne surrendered three days ago.” His joy at the victory made me smile. It was good to see him so happy. “Kate, this could change everything. Finally, things will begin to turn in our favor.” He grinned widely. I smiled in reply.   
“I believe so to.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out my letter. “There’s not much time, I’m afraid. We have to reach the city before nightfall.” I put the sealed envelope in his hand. “I still feel that there is still much more we need to learn about each other.” I smiled thinly.  
“I feel the same. What’s this?” He said looking down at the letter.   
“Just a few things I wanted to get off my chest. I hope it does not seem too forward of me, Major.” I grinned as my eyes looked up at him flirtatiously. He blushed slightly.  
“N-no, of course not.” He stammered. This made me giggle.   
“Hurry up, Kate! We can’t wait all day!” I heard Bess yell from the chariot. I rolled my eyes and turned back in the direction of the chariot.   
“I’m coming!” I screamed back at her harshly. Ben chuckled. I sighed. “I really should be going.” Ben stuck the let in his coat.   
“Right, of course.” He began to escort me back to the chariot, leading his mount behind us. “Kate?” He stopped just in front of the chariot.   
“Yes, Ben?” I inquired perplexed.   
“I was hoping we could continue a more private correspondence while you are in Philadelphia.” He asked.   
“You mean, outside of the mission?” I asked for clarification.  
“Yes.” I spoke softly. I blushed.  
“I believe I can pass them on through my courier.” I smiled coyly. He appeared to be pleased by my answer. “Although, we must be careful not to become too distracted from the mission.” I reminded him.  
“Of course.” He looked up towards the chariot. “I hope we will not be parted for too long.” His hand enclosed mine in a gentle grip.   
“I hope the same.” I said softly. “Try not to miss me too much.” I winked. I turned to get back on the chariot, but Ben’s grip stopped me. I turned back to face him.  
“Kate.” He whispered. I stepped closer.  
“Yes, Ben?” My eyes softened as I looked into his eyes. He was quiet for a moment. Behind his eyes I could tell he was in thinking of what to say next. I trembled in anticipation. At last, his hand reached up to gently caress my cheek. His fingers delicately stroked across my skin. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch. The heat rushed straight to my face, and I began to breath heavily. My chest tightened across my stay. I could see that Ben took notice of that.   
“Be careful, my love.” He said softly. My heart skipped a beat as he spoke. I held his other hand in mine.   
“I will. Promise me you will do the same?” I pleaded. A small smirk appeared in the corner of his mouth.  
“I promise.” He whispered.   
“Katherine, we must be going now.” Father called out from the chariot.  
“Y-yes, Father.” I replied.   
“It’s time, Kate.” Ben said leading me to the chariot’s steps. His hand supported me as I made my way into the chariot.   
“Until we meet again.” I whispered to him before I stepped up onto the step. I noticed our hands lingered in their grasp, refusing to let go of each other. I looked at him one last time before slipping my hand away from his. My eyes lingered on his as the door to the chariot was shut and James commanded the horses to move out.  
As we drove away, the farm house and Ben disappeared over the horizon and our journey to Philadelphia was under way at last.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

I stood there for several minutes watching as her family’s procession of carriages and carts drive off into the distance. My hand clutched onto the sealed letter she had given me. The nerves crept up on me, twisting and knotting my stomach as I imagined the possible contents of the letter. Once the convoy had disappeared over the horizon I mounted my horse and returned to camp.   
When I arrived Caleb was waiting for me with his natural obnoxious smirk on his scraggly face. No words were exchanged between us as I dismounted and went inside my tent.   
“So? How’d it go?” Caleb said with a grin.  
“It went well. Kate and her family are on their way to Philadelphia. I should expect a report from her within a couple weeks.” I said returning to the stacks of papers at my desk. I could hear sigh as he Caleb roll his eyes.  
“I wasn’t talking about the bloody spying, Ben. Come on, what did you say to the lass?” He waited with a gleeful anticipation.   
“I just informed her as to why I was late.” I murmured.  
“Seriously? Is that all?” He raised an eyebrow. “Jesus, Ben. You really are hopeless.” He sighed.   
“Oh shut up, Caleb.” I rolled my eyes. “She’s not some conquest that you sweet talk into bed. That’s not what I want.” I frowned reaching into my pocket to grip the letter Kate wrote to me.   
“You could have fooled me after what happened last night.” He winked. “Sorry about that by the way.”   
“You could have knocked.” I frowned embarrassed.   
“How can I knock on a tent? Look it’s not the first time you’ve been caught boxing the Jesuit and I’m sure it won’t be the last.” Caleb chuckled. My hand reached up to rub my temple as I silently begged for Caleb to leave.   
“I have work to do, Caleb.” I sighed going back to my papers. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” I asked implying that I wanted to be left alone.   
“Aye, Sackett said he wanted to have a chat.” Caleb left the tent. I sighed in relief as I checked to make certain he was gone before slipping Kate’s letter out of my coat pocket. The mysterious contents of the letter made me anxious. The sealing wax on the note tempted me to break it and I unfolded the small delicate pages, and nervously began to read. 

 

My Dear Sir,   
I suppose to you this unsolicited letter from me is quite peculiar given our frequent conversations over recent weeks. You must know that I am not of the sort of young woman who recurrently writes to a Gentleman with this degree of spontaneity. However, given the circumstances of Our current situation I feel that this is an appropriate time for such a notice. My intention behind this letter is a written response to the eloquent and spontaneous open declaration of Affection you requested my Father to give to me on the eve of the battle of Germantown. I recall my verbal acceptance of your intentions and reciprocation of those affections with a great sense of joy. It is with this letter I Affirm my deep affection for you and with the strongest of convictions openly declare that I wish more than anything to be Swiftly returned to your side. These past few weeks have been the happiest of my life. I attribute this to our unexpected meeting. I pray that our separation is brief, and that our mission is fruitful.   
Your Faithful Servant,  
K. Allen. 

My heart pounded as I read each line, and with each word of her letter Kate endeared me to her more. It was in that moment that I realized how deeply I had fallen for her. She was everything I could have ever wanted in a companion. Her charm, wit, and intellect excel all expectations of her sex. Yet, with all of her accomplishments, she possessed such humility and grace. I admired her unequivocally from early on, and with each passing day I grew more and more in love with her. She and I were equals in nearly every aspect, with the only exception being my lack of social standing in society. Being a mere schoolmaster from Long Island, I feared that that my lack of wealth and position would be the factor that would keep her family from accepting our possible future together, but I do not believe Kate would stand for such a thing. As I read over the letter once more, it became all too clear to me that Katherine Allen was my destined partner for life.


	27. Philadelphia

The journey to Philadelphia was tiresome. My sisters leaned against each other and slept while the post chaise bounced gently down the road. Father stared out the window and gazed out over the greenery as we passed by. My thoughts reflected back on the events that led up to this. From meeting Major Tallmadge to formulating my plans to spy for General Washington and manipulating my father so that those plans could be executed, each incident of the past month has come to this. Now it was up to me to see it through, and I prayed to God that I would not fail.  
I had to look toward the future in terms of the mission as well as my personal life. The prospect of a future with Major Tallmadge thrilled me and I greatly desired it. For the first time in my life the prospect of a marriage was not an abhorrence to me. I had discovered an equal partner in love as well as in mind. I did not care if he was a school master from Long Island, Benjamin Tallmadge was the man I wished to pledge myself to for the rest of my days. I smiled to myself and rested back in my seat and let the gently rocking of the chaise guide me to sleep.  
My peaceful slumber was rudely interrupted by the excited jabber from my sisters. That’s when I realized that we had arrived. It was the late afternoon when our convoy reached the city limits. You could sense the change in the atmosphere. An unsettling red cloud hung over the city. The once jubilant and patriotic populace has all but turned silent and compliant to the occupying redcoats.  
The checkpoint we were stopped at was heavily monitored. British soldiers surveyed the line of wagons and carts behind us. A grim looking officer approached our carriage as father brought out and showed him the necessary paperwork to secure our entrance into the city. The officer studied the papers for a minute before returning them to Father.  
“Move along.” He waved our convoy on past the checkpoint.  
As we pressed on into the vicinity of the city the extent of the changes could be fully witnessed. Many patriot-owned businesses were closed or were taken over by Loyalists. The mood inside the carriage was uncomfortable. It was a sharp contrast to the jubilance amongst the out and about Loyalists who felt secure under their overlords.  
Passing through the streets we could see lines of soldiers marching in garrisons patrolling. Ladies in clusters walking down the streets gossiping while their husbands followed behind them. The sounds and sights of the populace around us were all too familiar. Smoke billowed from chimneys, dogs barked, horses neighed, and the clattering sounds of wheels against the cobblestone echoed all around us.  
Our chaise turned onto 4th street where our home awaited us. The three story brick mansion house was nestled into the corner of 4th and Locust St. The great house took up two lots and had a garden in the back which was the perfect place to seek refuge from the annoyances of everyday life. Our chaise pulled up and stopped at the entrance. The head housekeeper Sarah and several other servants stood at the door waiting for us. Our household servants were made up of both African slaves and Irish indentured servants. Sarah, our portly housekeeper was born in the Caribbean and has been serving the Allen family for over thirty-five years. The youngest housemaid, sixteen-year-old Anna, came to us from Cork, Ireland.  
Father stepped out of the carriage first before aiding my sisters and then me step out last. Glancing up, I glimpsed up at the three story brick mansion house. It looked the same as it did the day we left for the country. That was a comforting thought. We walked up the few short steps and went inside.  
“Welcome home, Sir.” I heard Lewis, a footman, say to Father.  
“It’s good to be home, Lewis.” Father said patting him on the shoulder after he gave him his hat and coat. I untied the ribbon from my hat and slipped it off my head, handing it to Sarah as she slipped off the cape draped over my shoulders.  
“We are all so glad to have you home, Miss.” She smiled. I nodded a silent reply as I looked over the interior grand foyer. It was twice the size of the one back at the country house. I the floor was made of imported marble from Italy. The mahogany staircase spiraled up all three stories. The walls were decorated with more mahogany panels and painted a dark burgundy.  
“As are we, Sarah. Have we received any messages?” I inquired.  
“Yes, Miss. A letter arrived this morning for you from Miss Shippen. I left it in Mister Allen’s study in case you wanted to retire there to respond.”  
“Very good, Sarah. Has there word from Aunt Augusta?”  
“She said she planned on coming by in the morning to take you to the dressmakers.” Sarah replied. I nodded.  
“Yes, very well. Send up my things to my room, Sarah. I’ll be in the study.”  
“Yes, Miss.” She bowed her head and I went into the study.  
Walking back into the most familiar room in the house I took in a deep breath, inhaling the comforting smell of parchment and leather binding. Across the floor, was a large fireplace above which hung dual portraits of my grandparents. An oriental rug Mother purchased years ago covered the hardwood floors in delicate patterns of red and gold. The surrounding high walls from floor to ceiling were filled with an assortment of books, pamphlets, and ledgers. A step ladder was set up to aid anyone who wished to reach the high shelves.  
Our library here was twice the size as the one back in the country. It was started by my grandfather nearly sixty years ago and has grown to hold nearly three thousand books, pamphlets, and ledgers. Many of the newer books were gifts from my father and a family friend, Doctor Benjamin Franklin.  
I walked around and saw the letter from Peggy Shippen sitting on the mahogany Chippendale desk that stood in the center of the room. Margret Shippen was hailed by many as the most beautiful young woman in the Colonies. I have known her since our early youth. We had the same dancing and music instructors. She was charming, intelligent, and rich. However, for every one of her admirable traits I found that there were two negative ones. She was vain, selfish, and deceitful. Peggy also had a tendency for being envious of anyone who was the center of attention when she was not. So long as you remained in her favor your reputation in Philadelphia’s high society was intact. Luckily for me, Peggy and I still have a good standing relationship. That will grant me access to balls, assemblies, and other social events put on by Tories where the highest in the occupying British ranks will attend. The gossip chains will be wide open to me as well.

 

I sat down at the desk, opened the sealed letter, and began to read: 

My Dear Kate,  
My sisters and I were thrilled when Father informed us of the news that you and your family would be returning to Philadelphia. I hope the circumstances surrounding your return are of good nature. By now your Aunt has informed you of our gathering on the coming Thursday evening. It will be a splendid affair to celebrate the King’s Men’s great victory in liberating the city from the Rebels.  
I certainly hope you shall attend. So much has happened since your family left the city. So many eligible gentlemen of good standing have arrived in the city. Perhaps we both shall find husbands before winter ends. The latest fashions have arrived from London and the materials this season are lovely. The high roll has become in style now. I highly recommend you make contact with Freddy. He does wonders. Of course, all will be on display at Father’s ball two days hence. There will be much more we can discuss.  
Your Humble Servant.  
M.S 

 

I put the letter aside and considered my choice of words I would send in my reply. The language had to be carefully thought out. There could be nothing that would cause suspicion. I had to endear myself to Miss Shippen further, much to my chagrin. I took out the parchment, ink well, and quill and began to write. 

My Dear Margaret,  
I have only just read your well received letter. I am happy to back home. We’ve been away for too long. The country was a dim as a snuffed out lantern. It lacked all of the charms and appeals of town. My sisters and I are pleased that Father came to his senses at last. We were jubilant to hear of the victory of the King’s troops and were eager to return to celebrate this joyous time. I was honored to receive your family’s invitation and will be attending the ball with my aunt and uncle. My aunt is taking me to the milliner’s to see about several frocks she had ordered for me. Unfortunately, there was very little gossip in the country. Nothing exciting happened at all, much to our grave disappointment. Hopefully, things will fare better here now that we have returned. I look very much forward to seeing you again soon.  
I Remain Your Obedient Servant,  
K.A

She and her inner circle gifted me the delightful nickname of “The Shrew” in honor of the apparent similarities I share with Shakespeare’s character, Katherina Minola. A badge I wore with honor, much to their amusing displeasure. Now, however, I would have to successfully portray myself as the rehabilitated “shrew” and become a socialite. I had to convince the others of my reformation. Playing to their vanities would be my main method of gaining their complete trust. It was vital that I had every component in order to take on my new role in this theatrical production. I had the character and the setting, now I needed the costume.  
I sealed the letter with wax and headed to the foyer to have one of the young Negro boys to take it down to the Shippen house. As I exited the study I could see the servants were finishing bringing in the load of crates and chests. The whole house was abuzz with activity. I searched the house for the house boy I knew who would love to deliver my message. Aaron was a sweet lad, at eleven years old his mother died several years before leaving him an orphan. Father bought them both when Aaron was three years old while on a trip to South Carolina visiting cotton plantations. Most slave owners would not purchase a mother and child resulting the tragic separation of families. It was a precedent my mother insisted upon when father needed to purchase more hands. He carries on the promise he made to this day.  
I took my search for Aaron towards the kitchens. He had a tendency to sneak around there looking for sweets. Just as I entered I saw Aaron reaching for a sweet pie while Tildy’s back was turned. I cleared my throat making my presence known to them all and Aaron jolted back in a fright. I smiled at him letting him know I had no intention of punishing him.  
“What’s for dinner tonight, Tildy?” I asked her above Aaron’s head.  
“Pork pie, Miss, and Plum pudding for after.” She nodded the flour still dusting her apron. No rest for the wicked as she would always say.  
“Excellent, do you mind if I borrow Aaron for a while? I need him to run an errand for me.” I gave a smirk in the boy’s direction.  
“Not at all, Miss. He’d just eat whatever I laid out to cool anyway. Go on boy.” She flicked her ladle in his direction. He hastily followed me out of the kitchen.  
“H-how can I help you, Miss Kate?” He stammered nervously still believing he was in trouble.  
“You’re not in trouble Aaron. I need you to do something for me.” I put the letter to Peggy in his hand. “Run this down to Judge Shippen’s and tell them that this is for Miss Margaret Shippen from Miss Katherine Allen. You know where the house is don’t you?” He nodded looking at the note.  
“Yes, Miss Kate.”  
“Go on. There’s a sweet in it for you when you get back.” I winked. His eyes lit up and he bolted for the door. His response made me giggle.  
I made my way up the stairs and to my bedchamber. Rachel had already begun to unpack my things when I arrived. The chest containing the codebook Ben gave me sat on the edge of my bed. I took the key for it out of my pocket and unlocked it. I could feel Rachel’s eyes on me as I took out the codebook. I shut the chest and locked it up. I a swift motion I got down on my knees and pushed my bed aside slightly. Just enough to reach the compartment in the floorboards underneath. I popped the plank loose and slipped the codebook inside before putting the plank back over the secret compartment.  
I plopped down on the bed with a sigh. The down mattress puffed up around me like a cloud. “Everything alright, Miss?” Rachel asked crooking a brow at me.  
“Hmm? Oh, yes. I’m fine. Just a bit anxious, I guess.” I replied.  
“I suppose that is normal. Although this is not a normal situation” She shrugged.  
“I think the realization that this is actually happening is beginning to hit me.” I glanced over at her. “The ball at the Shippen house is in two days and my aunt is coming tomorrow after breakfast to take me to the seamstress to have my new gowns fitted.”  
“You do not sound excited about it.” She observed.  
“I am excited about the mission. It’s just, I will have to a become a different person around these people. I do not look forward to putting on that particular façade.”  
“You know who you truly are Miss, and never forget it, and that way you do not lose yourself.” She smiled at me. I replied with a thankful grin.  
“Thank you, Rachel.”  
“You know what you’re doing, Miss Kate. Besides it’s too late to back out now.” She reminded me.  
“Yes, that’s true.” I nodded.  
The next morning, I woke to the sound of other maid servants entering my room to get me dressed for the day. It was no longer an intimate affair, but a return to the tedious ritualistic task. I told them which gown I wanted to wear and they got to work. One helped me dress while another fixed my hair. Rachel had gone to tend to my sisters and help them dress. Breakfast went by rather quickly with a bowl of porridge and a cup of tea, which I had not drank in years. I retired to the parlor to wait for my aunt’s arrival.  
Augusta Cornelia Franks was from another wealthy Philadelphian family. She married my uncle William in 1748. They had several children, but they all unfortunately died young. That tragedy left only my sisters and I for her to focus her attention on. Aunt Augusta, or as my sisters charmingly call her “Aunt Caesar”, is a stout, middle aged woman of strict tradition. Ever since our mother passed she has taken up the role of seeing to our instruction in music, dancing, singing, and other “virtuous talents that will secure our futures.”  
She had attempted to pressure me into marriage for nearly six years. First, my aunt tried to secure an engagement with the son of a competing merchant in order to combing the businesses when my uncle and father died. However, he was a brute who made an attempt to force himself on me. I made certain he never made another one by cutting him across the cheek with a letter opener. My aunt’s most recent failure was with a judge’s son. Unfortunately for my aunt, he had no interest in the company of young women. I was certain she had several officers in line waiting for a chance to examine me like a horse at market.  
I could hear the clatter of a horse and carriage outside approach the house. With a sigh I watched the footman open the door and step out to help my aunt from her carriage.  
“What are you so melancholy about? You get to go to all of the fun parties with Aunt and Uncle, and you get new dresses! This is so unfair. She gets to have a great time and we’re stuck here doing nothing.” Bess whined. I rolled my eyes.  
“They are going to be throwing a ball in two weeks. I’m sure you’ll be able to come. If you stop whining and act like a lady, maybe I’ll let you borrow one of my new gowns.” I said to shut her up. Bess’ eyes lit up and she returned to her lessons. I grinned at the ease of how easy it was to pacify her.  
My aunt groaned as her hefty frame stepped its way into the foyer. We could hear her from the parlor. Anne and Bess giggled. The footman entered the parlor to announce what we already knew.  
“Mrs. Allen is here to see you, Miss.” He bowed. I nodded and stood to greet her as she walked into the parlor. Anne and Bess followed my lead. Aunt Augusta half waddled into the room. Her footman followed behind her carrying three packages.  
“Good morning, my dears.” She hugged embraced each of us. “You are all lovelier than ever.”  
“Thank you, aunt.” I replied. Bess’ eyes were focused on the packages.  
“Did you bring us presents?” She asked with hopeful excitement. Augusta raised an eyebrow and smirked.  
“Perhaps, I did.” She waved at her footman to give the designated packages to my sisters. He gave her the one intended for me. She took me aside placing the small box in my hand. “Katherine, dear, I hope you’re ready. Mrs. Foster is expecting us soon. I am certain you will love the patterns I picked out for your new gowns. We have so much to discuss before Judge Shippen’s ball tomorrow night. We are getting the gown you’ll wear that night fitted first. The rest can be fitted later. I want you to look your best. General Clinton is going to be attending, along with many eligible young officers.” She smirked at me. I thinly smiled back.  
“Yes, of course, Aunt.” I replied with obedience. She gestured for me to open the small box. I untied the twine that bound the small black box, opened the lid, and glanced inside to see a delicate diamond and pearl hair piece. My eyes went wide at the sight of the beautiful piece of jewelry. “Thank you. It’s beautiful.” I spoke in astonishment.  
“It will go lovely with your new gown.” My aunt said through her smile. “I had it fitted to wear with a plume of peacock feathers. They shall match nicely.” We glanced over at my sisters when we heard Bess squeal in delight. My aunt had bought her a new oriental fan. Anne was very pleased with her new pearl choker. “Now, come Katherine, we must not be late. Good day, girls. Your uncle and I shall call on your father soon.” She bid my sisters farewell. I followed dutifully behind her. We put on our hats and headed out the door to the carriage.  
Once inside the carriage, my aunt’s mood became more serious, which was nothing new to me. I merely waited for her lecture to begin.  
“Katherine, I trust you understand the importance of what I’m trying to do for you, but I can only do so much. You are twenty-four years old, it is time you made good on your youth and beauty and take a husband. Preferably one who will help this family rise higher. It will not be long before they lose interest in favor of something younger.” I sat there in silence listening to the trotting of hooves against the cobblestone. “It is not right for you at your age to still be at home. You should have a home of your own and children. This shrewd willfulness you maintain will not bring you security. Has your time in the country finally made you see that you must put aside your pride and do your duty to this family?” She crudely asked me. My hands tightly squeezed into fists beside me and they dug into the seat. I had to maintain my composure in order convince her I was earnest.  
“Yes, I have. I’ve realized that my pursuits were frivolous. I wish to do all I can to ensure our family’s future.” I spoke obediently bowing my head. My aunt appeared convinced, but surprised by my answer.  
“Good. You can start at the ball, there will be many eligible gentleman of good bearing there that you will be introduced to.” The carriage pulls up to the milliner’s shop. “It’s vital that you make yourself known and snag one before Peggy Shippen can work her charms. She’s far better at that game than you are, my dear. You can learn from her and then make quick to use the knowledge.” She said as the carriage door open and stepped out. I rolled my eyes before following her.  
For over an hour, I stood up on a small platform whilst Mrs. Hunter made certain the gowns fit me properly. Each gown looked more extravagant than the last. The first was in a shade of lavender. It was made of a crisp silk. The petticoat ruffled in taffeta. The sleeves were also ruffled and was trimmed with lace. A delicately embroidered stomacher was the centerpiece. No doubt it would bring a great deal of attention to my bosom. I’m certain that was my aunt’s intention.  
The second gown was a rose colored sack back gown with ruffled petticoat. The stomacher was embroidered with gold thread in intricate designs. I became fond of the gown as soon as it was put on. I smiled to myself when it was all pinned into place.  
“Lovely, your pearls will match this one quite nicely. Now, there’s one last gown for you, Katherine.” My aunt looked giddy while I played her dress up doll. I sighed as I stepped down once again and undressed. Despite my distain for the tediousness of it all, I told myself that players needed more than one costume in order to become more convincing in their roles. Mrs. Hunter left and retuned with a mound of emerald silk fabric in her arms. She helped me dress and pinned it into place. The stomacher was decorated with embroidery in the shape of leaves. The gold thread glinted in the sunlight. I felt the smooth fabric as I smoothed it over as I admired it. The tightness of the stays made my bosom more pronounced. I tugged upward at the fabric to make it less revealing, but to no avail. Other than that, I was as comfortable as I was used to. I imagined the look on Ben’s face if he could see me at that moment. I smiled to myself thinking of how he’d stammer in his words as he tried to compose himself. The thought of it made me miss him.  
“Perfect. Well done, Margaret.” My aunt praised Mrs. Hunter’s work as she gave her the rest of the payment. “These will do splendidly.” I stepped down from the platform and took off the new gown, which would be saved for another grand occasion later on. I dressed and my aunt and I left. The footmen carried the boxes behind us and secured them onto the carriage.  
“With enough pampering and work, there is no one who will glance over you, my dear.” My aunt said as she placed a hand on my check before stepping up into the carriage.  
There was only one more day until the ball and the knots I my stomach were back. They were the result of a combined state of anxiety and excitement. To prepare for the evening, my sisters helped me practice my dancing in order to accustom myself the steps of the latest favorites. Bess clapped when we finished another turn of a minuet.  
“You must tell us everything that happens! Please, Kate?!” She pleaded with a whine. I smiled.  
“Of course, I will. You shall hear all of the gossip when I return.” I giggled.  
“Splendid! Oh, I wish we were going to!” She pouted.  
“You will have plenty of balls and assemblies to attend when you are older.” I assured her.  
“Yes, I know.” She sighed reluctantly resigned to her fate.  
“How about we brush up on the cotillion?” I smiled asking them. Anna and Bess were always eager to have some form entertainment.  
The anticipation for the ball was extremely high. After dinner, I retired to my room and began to study the codex. Preparations for the ball would begin immediately after a light supper. A coiffure was coming after to dress my hair in the newest fashion, the “high roll”. Then I would be primped and powdered and dressed. I chose to wear the lavender gown to the ball. It was appropriate for the occasion. Elegant and eye catching, but not too distracting to attract negative attention. While I studied I began to formulate my plan of action for when I arrived at the ball. I had to scout my targets, namely the eligible officers my aunt informed me of. When I found the one who had the best chance of slipping up I would focus my efforts on him. Flirtations were not a foreign language to me. My aunt was not mistaken when she told me to learn from Peggy. I would utilize her techniques in order to secure myself into a key position to gather information. They would be on full display during the ball. I fell asleep as soon as I hid the codex and returned to bed.  
The morning went by as swiftly as it came. I was well rested and ready for what the evening would bring. A breakfast of porridge and tea was brought up to me from the kitchen. A bath was prepared for me to wash in. I washed my body and made sure my hair was clean for the coiffure to work with.  
As I washed myself, my thoughts turned back to Ben. The separation between us would torturous for us both. I missed him so much, even after only three days. It was as if I could still feel his touch against my skin. The memory of it made goose pimples rise as I took the wash cloth to my skin. The heat rose from deep inside me. It was not an unfamiliar sensation. I felt it several times since I met Major Tallmadge and only few time before that. A desire that I took great pleasure in working through. I made certain I was alone before continuing.  
I put the wash cloth aside and laid back in the tub, my hand trailing down to my sex. I slipped two fingers over my slick folds and found the most sensitive spot. I arched my back as I gently rubbed into the bud. A quiet whimper escaped my lips as I pictured Ben’s hand and mouth tantalizing my sex. My heart pounded faster and I began to pant as my fingers rubbed harder over my bud in small circles. It was slick with desire and hot from wanting. My other hand went from grasping the side of the tub to caressing my exposed breasts. I imagined how skilled Ben would be with his eloquent tongue and his strong hands. While I pictured his caresses and touch, the peak of my pleasure rose from deep inside me. My movements became erratic as I climaxed and arched with a subdued moan. I was left breathless and motionless in the stagnant water.  
A sudden knock at the door made me jump out of my skin and splash water everywhere. Rachel entered carrying a dry cloth. My flushed skin was concealed by the water. I quickly caught my breath and stood up, wrapping myself in the dry linen. Stepping gingerly out of the tub I sat on my bed and dried off. A new clean shift was laid out for me. I slipped it on while Rachel and the other maids helped remove the tub and prepare my toilette for the coiffures arrival.  
My lavender gown was laid out, along with all of the essentials. A pair of stockings, a stay, hoops, stomacher, a pocket, shoes, petticoat, and under-petticoat. As the afternoon came and went, I was dressed with help from Rachel and another maid. The coiffeur arrived at half past three.  
“Mr. Freddy Price, is here, Miss.” Rachel introduced him. Freddy and his assistant came into the room, foppishly dressed and powdered, they bowed courtly before me.  
“Miss Allen, it’s a pleasure to see you.” He raised himself. I curtsied.  
“And you as well.” I replied. He waved his assistant to come in.  
“Might I be the first to welcome you back to the city”  
“Thank you, Freddy. It’s good to be home.”  
“I see that the country has lived your complexion.” He grinned. “Anything worth mentioning.”  
“I’m afraid not. It was quite uneventful.” I shrugged.  
“Oh, I see. So, shall we begin?” He asked me with a grin.  
“Of course.” I took a seat at my vanity.  
Freddy prepared his tools of trade and set them on the table beside me. Pins, a cushion, a jar of pomade, powder, and a set of white feathers. His assistant left to prepare the hot irons to curl my hair. Freddy wrapped small sections of my hair around the iron and let the curls set. I smelled my hair as it was heated. The heavy chestnut curls fell over my shoulders and down my back.  
“You have lovely hair, Miss Allen. It’s long enough to were you will not have to wear a false piece.” He informed me. Once he had finished curling and smoothing my hair, he separated it in order to begin the process of styling into the high roll. He placed the cushion on the top of m head, pinning it into place. Then he took several sections of hair, smoothed them out, and rolled them over the cushion, pinning each section securely. Thirty minutes and dozens of pins later he finished the style with a thin layer of pomade that secured the mount of hair in place. Several small loose curls hung down from the back of my head and slightly over my shoulders. Freddy pinned in the feathers and added a small amount of powder. “Lovely. You shall catch many eyes tonight.”  
“Thank you, Freddy.”  
“The pleasure was all mine, Miss Allen.” He bowed. I turned and retrieved his payment when I turned back to him he waved his hand. “That’s not necessary, Miss. Your aunt supplied the payment for your appointment.”  
“Oh, alright. You have my compliments, sir. It looks lovely.”  
“It shall look even better tonight. I hope to see you there. Peggy is looking forward to seeing you there.” He grinned. I stood in order to bid him farewell.  
“You’ve been to Miss Shippen’s?” I inquired.  
“Yes, her appointment was just before yours.” He nodded.  
“Oh, I see. Well, I am very much looking forward to this evenings events.” I smiled.  
“Good day, Miss Allen.” He bows after his assistant brings him his hat and coat.  
“Good day, Mr. Price.” I curtsied. He and his assistant turned and left. In a swift motion I turned back to the looking glass and gazed at every detail.  
“You look wonderful, Miss Kate.” Rachel smiled at me.  
“Thank you, Rachel.” I reached for a small jar of rouge and applied a small amount to my cheeks, creating a contrast against my pale skin. Rachel retrieved my jewelry box for me and placed it on the table. I cleaned off the rouge and opened the box, retrieving a pearl choker and matching earrings. I put on the necklace and earrings and dabbed a small amount of lavender oil on each side of my neck.  
“Would you like to take a small supper before you leave?” Rachel asked.  
“Yes, just to have something to go on. I have a feeling it shall be a long night.” I sighed.  
“I’ll have it brought up to you.” She nodded and sent another maid out to retrieve my meal. It was not wise to dance and drink on an empty stomach. The maid returned with a bowl of broth and bread. I wrapped a linen over me to prevent stains. Once I finished, I grabbed my mother of pearl, silk fan and headed downstairs to wait for my aunt and uncle.  
Bess and Anne were sitting in the parlor waiting for dinner. They looked up and gasped when they saw me coming downstairs. I was nervous enough as it was. I really didn’t want to trip and fall down the stairs. As I came down the steps gingerly, Bess bounced over to me.  
“Oh Kate! You look marvelous!” She said with a wide smile.  
“Really? I feel like my head may fall off do to the weight of it.” I said reaching up to tap at the small tower on top of my head. “Although, it is quite lovely.”  
“A dress is just silk and thread until you put it on, my dear.” I heard Father say from beside me. I looked up at him with a smile. “You look wonderful, Kate.” He came over and kissed my cheek. “Have a good time, and do not let Augusta’s games spoil your evening.” He furled his brow.  
“I won’t, Father.” I replied.  
“You will tell us all about it, won’t you, Kate?” Bess pouted and pleaded with her eyes.  
“You have my word. Not a single detail will be spared.” I grinned. We all heard the sounds of the horse and carriage approach the house. My heart beat faster with anticipation. This was inevitable and there was no turning back. I took a deep breath as the front door was opened as we heard my aunt and uncle enter the house. The footman led them to the parlor.  
“Mr. and Mrs. William Allen to see you, sir.” He bowed showing them in.  
“Very good, Peter.” Father nodded. My aunt enthusiastically waddled into the room, dressed as extravagantly as one would expect from her. My uncle followed behind her as stoic as I have ever recalled seeing him.  
“Brother.” He bowed courtly. “Welcome back. I trust your journey was without difficulty.”  
“It was. We are all glad to be home.” My Father replied. My aunt came over an inspected the work done on me. She murmured to herself as she circled me.  
“Hmm, very good. You look lovely, Katherine. Straighten your back, dear. Do not slouch.” She pushed against my back and pulled back my shoulders. My teeth clenched as she continued to poke and prod at me. I looked at Father and silently pleaded him to get her to stop.  
“My would you look at the time. You wouldn’t want to be late.” My father said loudly, getting my aunt’s attention.  
“Oh dear, come William. Katherine, get your cloak.” She said as she hastily made for the door. I giggled as she waddled to her carriage. I turned back to my father and gave a reserved smile.  
“Have a splendid evening, my dear.” He grinned reassuring me with his eyes.  
“Thank you, Father.” I hugged him and headed towards the door wrapping my cloak around my shoulders.  
My aunt and uncles’ footman helped me step up into their carriage. Moments later the wheels began to clatter against the stone pavement as we made our way towards the Shippen House. The street lamps were lit all along the route. The fall air was crisp and aromatic with the scent of burning wood coming from the chimneys above. My aunt chattered away beside me in the same manner she had two days earlier. My uncle has learned to tune her out over the years. I just stared idly out of the windows at the houses and shops as we passed by.  
Ten blocks and two street turns later we arrived at the grand townhouse on 4th Street belonging to Judge Shippen. We could hear the orchestra as we pulled up. The house from the outside appeared to glow from the number of candlelight. Other guests were abuzz when we stepped out of the carriage. Ladies with their hair also rolled high and gentlemen powdered and tailored all stood around gossiping at the door. It must have been hot inside from the number of guests and heat from the candles. I followed my au and uncle as the made their way up the entrance steps and into the house.  
Couples glided along the ballroom floor as we made our way further inside. I looked around for familiar faces, but everyone was all blurred together in a sea of silk, ruffles, and hair. From the corner of my eye, I saw my aunt and uncle being greeted by Judge Shippen.  
“Good of you to come, William. I am sure business has picked up now that the Rebels have been run out of the city.”  
“It mostly certainly has. Our investors are looking forward to the results of our upcoming ventures. I am sure you are as well, Edward.” My uncle grinned.  
“You two can discuss business later. Judge, we thank you for your gracious invitation. May I present my niece, Katherine.” She nudged me forward as she introduced me. I curtsied deeply. The judge bowed slightly.  
“Welcome, Miss Allen. My daughter, Margaret has been very much looking forward to your attendance here this evening.”  
“Thank you, sir. I have looking forward to this occasion as well. It has been too long a separation from civilized society.” I smiled. The judged nodded.  
“… and has your father’s health improved?” Shippen inquired.  
“Yes, very much so. We knew that the air in the country would do him much good.” My fist clenched at my gown.  
“Of course. We are all glad that you and your family have returned, Miss Allen. Give my best to your father.”  
“I shall.” I nodded.  
“Enjoy your evening.” He said to our party before bowing. My aunt and I curtsied and my uncle bowed back before Judge Shippen stepped away to greet other guests arriving behind us.  
I followed my aunt and uncle around for another ten minutes as they made their way around saying hello to their Loyalist friends. I made myself indispensable, smiling and curtsying whenever the conversation turned to politics I put on my Tory charade and commented about how I heard that the Rebels were ransacking the countryside and how grateful I was that my family’s crops and livestock were spared the ravaging. I received their sympathies and agreements to my feigned distain for the Patriots.  
“Kate! Is that you?!” I heard a sweet almost angelic voice call out from one side of the room. I turned sharply to find the source.  
“Peggy.” I smiled widely. She glided over to embrace me. Her gown was made of a splendid silver silk. Her golden locks towered on her head and were bejeweled with a diamond brooch and white feathers. Her eyes sparkled in the candlelight. It was easy to see how she caught everyone’s eye.  
“Oh, it is so good to see you. I was delighted to receive your letter the other day. You look so lovely. I can see Freddy did a splendid job.” She smiled.  
“Thank you, Peggy. You look as beautiful as ever.” I complemented back.  
“Thank you, dearest. Come we were just about to play cards.” She slipped her arm through the crook of mine and led me away to a card table adjacent to the ballroom floor. “You remember Becky, and of course you know Freddy.” She went to the seat at the table that faced towards the ballroom floor. I sat down across from Becky Franks.  
“How about a game of quadrille?” Becky asked of us.  
“That sound like quite fun.” I replied.  
“Excellent.” Becky said as she began to deal the cards.  
“My sisters send you their love, Peggy.” I said as I took my cards.  
“I shall have to call on you all soon. I shall love to see them again. They are both such sweet young ladies.” She looked at her hand.  
“They have their moments.” I smirked. Becky giggled.  
“You must tell us how your stay in the country was, Kate. I’m sure it was devastatingly dull.” She smiled impishly. I sighed in a feigned discontent.  
“It was positively miserable. There was nothing to do, and no one to have civilized conversation with. Most of my days were spent listening to my sisters’ music lessons. However, I suppose it was worth it, if it meant Father’s health improved.” I returned my gaze to my cards occasionally taking opportunities to glance at the dance floor for potential source of intelligence.  
“So your holiday in the country was uneventful? Come, Kate, surely something caught your eye, or someone, perhaps?” Peggy grinned devilishly.  
“I am afraid not, much to my aunt’s disappointment.” I giggled portentously.  
“Although your aunt would more likely fall over dead from shock were you to become engaged to a country boy.” Becky chuckled. I frowned and mimicked a pause for thought.  
“Hm, perhaps I shall reconsider.” The table laughed at my jest.  
“The country has certainly done much good to, Kate. You were never this humorous before.” Becky said as she laughed.  
“I’ve always had my wit, Becky. It’s not my fault it took you so long to see it.” I smirked. Peggy laughed melodically. Becky frowned. “I merely tease, dear Becky.” Freddy turned glancing about the room.  
“Perhaps you shall find someone here, tonight, Miss Allen. Judge Shippen certainly has procured an eager gathering.” He observed.  
“Yes, but I do believe the good judge intends them more for our dear Peggy than for me.” I smiled at Peggy.  
“Alright, you must tell us. Who are you and what have you do with our Kate?” Becky chuckled. I frowned in confusion.  
“I’m afraid I do not understand your meaning, Becky.” I replied. Peggy and Becky’s mouths creeped up into thin tight lipped smirks.  
“Well, obviously someone has tamed the shrew.” Becky chortled. My jaw clenched and my eyes burned a hole in her face.  
“Come now, Becky. You needn’t tease.” Freddy scolded.  
“I wasn’t being malicious, Freddy. It’s only a silly little nickname we’ve had for Kate sine we were young. Isn’t that right, Kate?” Becky smiled. Every fiber in my being wanted to reach across that table and ring her neck. However, I merely bit my tongue and smiled.  
“Of course, Becky.” I replied sweetly.  
As our tabled played, from the corner of my eye I could see an eager British officer approach our group. He came an stood beside me and bowed.  
“Lieutenant Fitzwilliam, at your service.” He said taking Peggy’s hand up to his lips.  
“A pleasure, Lieutenant.” She smiled bowing her head.  
“Likewise, Miss Shippen. The very instant I saw you did my heart fly to your service.” He stood still bowing holding her hand to his lips. Becky and I engaged a look waiting for Peggy’s barbs to fly.  
“Do you quote Shakespeare to all the ladies?” She inquired.  
“Only to those who stir a tempest in my heart.” That line from him made me giggle out loud at its ridiculousness.  
“I believe you do, for that was well-rehearsed.” She shut him down in such a sweet voiced. I almost felt pity for the young man as he walked away defeated.  
“At least they do not kiss in the continental style. It disorders one’s high roll and I’ve already put poor Freddy through enough today.”  
“Have a care Peggy, or you shall scare off all of the eligible men.” I reminded her.  
“She’s right.” Freddy acknowledged.  
“That’s because to Kate all men are eligible.” She shot back in a sharp jest. I clenched my teeth biting my tongue.  
“And I expect when we are her age we shall feel the same.” Becky replied.  
“Thank you, Becky.” I said.  
“Your welcome, Kate.” She responded sweetly.  
“By the time I am Miss Allen’s age I expect to be one my second husband.” She announced proudly with an impish grin.  
“How ever romantic, but first you many want to find number one.” Freddy reminded her.  
“And who would you pick, Freddy, from this pool of too eager candidates?” She frowned at her predicament.  
“I guess that depends on what one looks for in a man.” He turns in his seat looking towards the floor of guests. “If I were Peggy I would choose someone tall and dashing.” I followed gaze towards a handsome young man chatting with a couple across the room. A British officer of some high rank. “Maybe someone with an elegant little braid. Then again I’m sure our Peggy is immune to such superficial inducements.” I looked back at Peggy and obviously her eye had been caught. She smiled seductively at the young man, however, much to all our surprise he remained unmoved by her charms.  
“Why, Peggy, he didn’t even smile at you.” I said dumbfounded. Secretly, I was quite amused.  
“A man immune to the charms of Margaret Shippen. What has the world come to?” Becky jested playfully.  
“Perhaps he is more Freddy’s type after all.” Peggy spoke obviously wounded by her defeat went back to stare at her cards.  
“One can dream.” Freddy replied with a smirk.  
I glanced over and watched as the mystery officer walked across the floor to the orchestra and ask for the violinists’ instrument.  
“Now, what is that infernal man doing?” I asked aloud. They all turned to look as he played a new upbeat tune.  
“Killing the ambiance apparently.” Freddy retorted snobbishly.  
“Not so, apparently.” Becky replied in surprise. We watched as the orchestra drew more couples to the ballroom floor and began to dance the minuet.  
The young officer relinquished the violin to its owner and proceeded in our direction. We quickly attempted to resume playing. As he strode over to my side, I glanced over at Peggy. I could see that her cheeks were flushed and her fingers slightly fiddled at the cards in her hand. I stole several glances at the man. He was certainly handsome. His dark hair was pulled back in the common style braid, contrasted by a blonde braid. His uniform was perfectly tailored. I could not make from my seat how tall he was, but he certainly stood out from the others. His epaulets indicated that he was a Major. I saw his eyes were sharp and blue. His mouth curved into a natural smile. I quickly glanced away as he grew closer. The steps of his boots came closer and we all looked up as he approached us. He stopped two feet away from my side and bowed. I looked up and smiled, bowing my head in reply.  
“Major John Andre, at your service, ladies.” He spoke smoothly. His voice had a slight baritone.  
“What service are you offering, Major?” Peggy inquired in a flirtatious tone. I watched her simper up at him. Her eyes twinkling hoping he would offer his hand for a dance.  
“May I have the pleasure?” I heard him ask from beside me. At the time, I believed he was asking Peggy to dance. However, Peggy, Freddy, and Becky’s eyes all looked at me with astonishment. Confused I looked back over at Major Andre, his hand extended towards me. My eyes widened in surprise. His eyes were kind and his smile was reassuring as he waited for my answer. Without speaking, I took his hand and stood, accepting his offer.


	28. A Delicate Dance

Major Andre led me to where the other couples were lining up to dance. My heart was pounding relentlessly. In the short debriefing I had with Mr. Sackett and Benjamin, I learned that a Major John Andre was the head of British intelligence. This was as if the fates were mocking me. It felt wonderful and terrifying at the same time. I knew I had to play my part precisely, otherwise I would never ensure my credibility with him, or any others I were to come into contact with that night. I joined the ladies’ side of the group, and took my place across from Major Andre and curtsied. The group began the dance and soon everything was in a blurred motion.  
“I am afraid I never caught your name, Miss-?” Andre inquired as we danced.  
“Allen. Katherine Allen.” I replied softly, being careful to present myself cordially. His head went back in a moment of recollection.  
“Ah, yes, General Clinton introduced me to your aunt and uncle earlier.” He nodded in the direction of the decorated gentleman across the room speaking with Peggy. “Your aunt spoke highly of you.” The dread crept up inside me, of course my aunt would pounce on every possible match that caught her eye. Andre continued. “They also mentioned that your father had only just arrived back in the city after a short absence in the country. I’m sure things here feel quite different to you.”  
“To be forthright, Major, I am much relieved. My father’s health is improved and my home is once again under the King’s rule.” I said keeping my attention on the dance as so not to miss a step.  
“I would think that having soldiers marching in the streets would make many citizens quite uncomfortable.” He spoke candidly, clearly testing me.  
“I’m afraid that it is not so, Major. Everyone I am acquainted with is quite pleased of the King’s soldiers.” I replied earnestly.  
“And what is your opinion, Miss Allen?” He smiled. His eyes were kind. They had a depth to them. There was a purpose behind every word he spoke. I could see that there was something hidden behind his warm expression.  
“My opinion is of little concern, Major.” I smiled. His eyes searched for something. I could see his gaze wander over to Peggy from time to time. “Most would not support a young lady having political opinions. However, I happen to find the presence of the King’s soldiers most welcome reprieve.” I spoke with gentility.  
“I’m glad to hear it.” He replied.  
“I trust that you are finding our city accommodating?’ I inquired.  
“I have thus far, however, I’ve discovered a severe lack of cultured entertainment outside of the occasional assembly.”  
“Yes, the Continental Congress banned the theatre and other varied forms of cultural entertainment several years ago deeming it too extravagant and frivolous. ” I spoke with an earnest discontent. “I believe that was a grave mistake. Many of those who wished to seek out plays had to venture to New York or further South.” Their self-righteousness was one of the things that irritated me about Congress, aside from their occasional incompetence.  
“You enjoy the theatre then, Miss Allen?”  
“I do, very much so.” Our minuet finished and the second dance began. He offered his hand asking to continue our dance. I curtsied and accepted.  
“What a fine coincidence? Several other officers, myself included, are hoping to remedy that. We wished to open a theatre and beginning performances as soon as possible.” He spoke eagerly.  
“That’ll be a delight to many, Major. Philadelphia has been too long without cultured activities.” I responded enthusiastically. “I assure you, your productions will have an eager audience.” We were closer now, as the dance brought us close. I spun. I could feel another’s eyes on me. I knew Peggy must have been burning holes into my back as she watched from a far as she danced half-heartedly with General Clinton. I thought to myself, perhaps this was his intention, to insight jealously.  
“Which playwrights do you prefer, Miss Allen?” I heard Andre inquire.  
“Well, Shakespeare, of course. But I have enjoyed several of Farquhar, Samuel Foote, and David Garrick’s works as well.” I spoke truthfully as I stepped under his arm.  
“Do you prefer Shakespeare’s comedies or tragedies?” Andre asked inquisitively.  
“That is a difficult question to answer, Major. In times such as these, comedies are popular, as they insight a more cheerful mood. However, tragedies are an honest and frank reflection of the human condition, something that cannot be brushed aside due to melancholy sentiment.” When I gave him my answer he smiled.  
“I couldn’t agree more, Miss Allen.” His countenance was warm and gave no sign of malicious intent. I was struck at how recklessly open I was being with this stranger. Andre was difficult to read. I could find no sense of arrogance or dishonesty. All I could see was a strong, cunning intellect. It was something I admired, but it left me in the dark.  
He was someone that sparked my curiosity and, in time, possibly my respect. However, I had to put that aside right then and there. He was not my friend; he was my enemy. I could feel myself turn cold, but my face had to maintain its mask of jubilance while I danced. I heard the music cue reach its end just as we concluded our dance. I curtsied as Andre bowed across from me.  
“Perhaps we can continue this conversation at a later date.” I smiled.  
“I am at your service, Miss Allen.” He grinned bowing once more. I nodded and curtsied once more. We walked away from each other to seek other dance partners. From the corner of my eye I watched Andre step over to Peggy, who was currently without a partner. He bowed and appeared to ask her for a dance, which she accepted. I continued on my way across the room. The mindless chatter around me buzzed in my ear. I tried to pick up on anything that would be of interest to Washington.  
The refreshment table was surrounded by a number of British officers chatting with other guests. I made my way to retrieve a glass of the flowing punch. As I sipped from my glass, I observed the room carefully. I opened my ears to eavesdrop on nearby conversations. All I managed to hear was a nearby Lieutenant brag about their victory at Germantown.  
“Ah, there you are Katherine.” I heard my aunt’s shrill voice call out from behind me. I sighed, rolling my eyes with my back turned to her. “There is someone I would like to introduce you to.” She sounded pleased with herself. I put on a smile and turned to face her and her companion. He was tall, his auburn hair was highlighted by the candlelight. There was a scar went down the side of his left cheek. “Katherine, this is Lieutenant Gamble of his Majesty’s 26th Regiment” His eyes observed me a few moments before bowing with a sly smile. I suppose he was admiring his potential purchase. I clenched my jaw and curtsied.  
“A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lieutenant.” I smiled softly offering my hand to Gamble to kiss, which he promptly did.  
“The honor is mine, Miss Allen.” His words were simple, yet I felt a shudder go down my spine that left me with a sense of dread.  
“Do you find Philadelphia agreeable, Lieutenant?” I asked to politely begin a conversation, however reluctant.  
“I do. It has its charms. The people have been most welcoming.” He acknowledges with a brief nod. “This is the third social event I’ve attended this week celebrating our arrival.”  
“I hope you don’t believe we’re trying too hard.” I smirked before taking a sip of punch. Gamble chuckled.  
“One would assume as much, however, it has been most pleasant. I cannot recall the last time I beheld such finery and handsome company.” He smiled at me with a glimmer of flirtation in his eyes.  
From the corner of my eye, I could see my aunt was pleased with herself at the suitor she dug up from the ranks of the King’s officers for me to join myself with. I put on a soft smile in reply to Gamble’s advance, all the while my stomach twisted in knots with repugnance. I knew I had to play this up for my aunt since she clearly found the gentleman appealing for some reason.  
“Lieutenant Gamble is from Scotland, Katherine.” My aunt told me as if it was some sort of revelation. His accent had clearly given that away.  
“Ah, I see, and from which county do you hail, Lieutenant?” I inquired with an implied sense of curiosity  
“Ayrshire, Miss.” He seemed pleased that I was supposedly interested.  
“I have heard its lovely country.” I said.  
“It is, from what I can remember. It has been many years since I’ve been away.” He responded with a slightly tone of melancholy.  
“Perhaps one day you will return.” I said with a soft smile.  
“I pray that I may see home again. That we all may see home again.” He responded. I certainly prayed that they leave as well. Sooner rather than later, the condition of their departure was in God’s hands.  
“We pray for the King’s men as well.” My aunt spoke with a giddy smile. “God willing there is a swift and resounding victory.” Gamble appeared pleased by my aunt’s pledge of fealty.  
“Here, here.” I replied before raising my glass to my lips.  
A change of song echoed from the main ballroom. Gamble glanced behind him and seemed bolstered by the song. He turned back to me.  
“May I have this dance, Miss. Allen.” He requested with a bow offering me his hand. I paused and glanced at my aunt he gave an insistent nod. I swallowed, setting my glass aside on the table beside me.  
“It would be my pleasure, Lieutenant.” I accepted taking his hand and he turned to guide me back to the dance floor.  
He was not as natural and gallant a dancer as Major Andre, but he made up for this by giving me his undivided attention. I could feel his eyes on me with each step. It was quite uncomfortable. I put on a smile and stepped as smoothly and gracefully as my feet would permit. Gamble was quiet, but complimentary in the way his eyes followed me. Part of me was surprisingly beginning to enjoy myself.  
“Miss Allen, if I may be so bold, you move with such grace it puts the other ladies in this room to shame.” He commented with sincere affirmation. I was not particularly fond of being scrutinized or desiring of admiration from my social peers. I knew was being watched like a hawk by my aunt. What I did not realize at the time was that there were other eyes on me as well.  
“Why Lieutenant, you flatter me.” I smiled, and bowed my head slightly in thanks for his compliment, even though internally I didn’t really give it much thought.  
“Would you honor me with the pleasure of a second dance, Miss Allen?” He inquired, a hint of a smirk twitched in the corner of his mouth. I feigned a blush and looked away quickly. I figured that I may as well entertain his advances just to see what potential intelligence I could learn from him through discreet methods of conversation.  
“It would be my pleasure, Lieutenant.” I curtsied as our first dance came to its conclusion. Before I collect my thoughts a new dance was being requested. An allemande. My head spun at the thought. It was quite an intimate dance. However, I smiled and lined up with the other ladies and began the steps. Gamble eagerly followed. The close contact of the dance was uncomfortable. As I spun underneath Gamble’s hold I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. Goosebumps prickled up and an unsettling chill went down my back. As I returned the hold Gamble turned underneath my hold. He seemed to inch closer as the steps drove us together. I would mostly pull back slightly. It was a delicate dance. Gamble was on the hunt and I was his intended prize.  
I intend to lead him on in order to get what Ben needed. If I endeared myself to Gamble, I could be privy to an assortment of information, that is, if I played my cards right and was discreet in my pressing of him. He could be the key to defeating the enemy and unwittingly aid in speeding my love back to me.


End file.
